I find it just a little mind-boggling how a book read twice during high school was one of the contributing texts that convinced me to not pursue drugs, curious as I might have been, and yet it continues to be banned and removed from public and school libraries. When I read it I did not know that it was actually a work of fiction or imaginatively compiled and edited diary entries of a psychologist's patient instead of the claimed anonymous diary of a troubled teen. Go Ask Alice was a quick read that both sparked curiosity in certain drugs but also solidified my own grounded sense of self-control and self-preservation. I wanted to be freer than I felt, but the stories told by those who went too far with drugs never presented them as being free and in control of their lives, but instead wracked with the turmoil caused by heroin, cocaine, acid, ecstasy, and meth.
I remember reading Go Ask Alice sometime in eighth or ninth grade for the first time. I read it again my senior year because I had a friend (on whom I had a crush on) who progressed from one drug to another during the fall semester until one day he came to school so high on acid that he allegedly had danced like a chicken on the discipline dean's desk. His charisma had perked my interest, and if I had been in the right place at the wrong time I would have tried anything with him just to be around him. And I realized this, so I set my feet back on the ground by rereading Go Ask Alice. And when I learned he went to rehab during the winter break, I sent my book by way of a friend to him. I don't recall if he ever said he got it, or if my friend succeeded in getting it to him. I never did manage to run with any friends who did hard drugs, but I knew some of my classmates did. I've never seen the made-for-TV movie based on the book.
I believe I read Foxfire by Joyce Carol Oates during my freshman year, or the summer before sophomore year. Foxfire was another novel that had a real weight of honesty and reality drawn into the plot. I don't remember specifics from the novel so much anymore because in 1996 a film was made from the novel, leaving out some of the lengthy plot and adding a few more twists. When I think of Foxfire I recall mostly scenes from the film. A mix-match group of girls bonded together by the same cause, who help and protect each other when various problems rise up in each one's lives. The hardest of them all is Goldie and how her drug addiction spirals into a mess of problems and disappointment.
There's any number of songs that heighten and raise up the creativity-inducing elements of drugs, but there's nearly an equal amount that share the ails of addiction. I did not hear this song when it first came out but instead heard it years later when I delved into a myriad of female indie-alternative folk musicians. Somehow I came across K's Choice and their song "Not An Addict." The song's lyrics are poignant, nevermind that the intro is like a sad crying of someone desperate, alone, addicted, and wrecked.
I've still never tried acid or 'shrooms, and certainly have never tried anything like the cocaine, heroin, meth, etc. A glass of wine, a beer, a little bourbon is about as far as my interests go. But even alcohol is something I approach cautiously, knowing that I do have an addictive nature if I let it go completely. I've never liked the idea of drinking to get drunk because the few times I have felt drunk I did not find it a pleasant feeling that I wanted to repeat. No, instead, I have a glass or two of wine with a meal, or three beers over the course of a long evening, followed by a glass of water. I have fun by being surrounded by music, or talking with people, or taking pictures. I enjoy being myself with friends who are stronger and more entertaining than any state-altering drug could propose.
Last night I posted a link to a music video by The Swell Season on facebook, which promptly turned into a discussion of movies a friend would probably like to see. I realized that there are some similarities of emotion in some of my favorite films, a kind of drama that is honest and real, based on real complications and problems, not silly scenarios. So here's a list of some of my favorite films, and maybe some of the songs that continually make me fall in love with the musician or movie or story or life! I'll try to list them in order I have discovered them, if I can remember!
Sidenote: I have links to Wikipedia articles, IMDB pages, and Amazon or iTunes soundtracks solely for informational purposes. Wikipedia is by far not the end-all, be-all authority on accurate information, but it is a quick and easy enough starting place. Reference the external links and citations at the end of their articles.
Orlando Orlando is based on the book of the same name by Virginia Woolf. I had already read the book, the only one I have yet read by Woolf. I liked the odd story of a person over centuries of time. It is a kind of fantasy, but Woolf was likely trying to show there's a history to each person who connects them centuries back and that there are also people we meet whom we instantly know we know. A kind of intuition, kindred spirit, connection unexplained between two people that should just be trusted, be it that they are lovers or lifelong friends of like-mindedness and curiosities. I know I watched this sometime when I was in community college, 1995-1997, and likewise read the book only months before. I am sure it was summer. Here I have a link to the trailer for the film:
More info: Wikipedia article for novel. Wikipedia article for film. IMDB for film info and trailers.
The Secret of Roan Inish
I think I stumbled across this movie while I was at the University of Mississippi, probably in 1997 or 1998. I quickly bought the soundtrack for it and played it whenever I had essays to write for my Irish Literature class. I recall sitting at a picnic table in The Grove listening to it while writing those first essays. I played that CD all the time! The story is both sad and mythical.
"[The plot] is centered on the Irish and Orcadian folklores of selkies—seals that can shed their skins to become human. The story, set on the west coast of Ireland, is about Fiona, a young girl who is sent to live with her grandparents near the island of Roan Inish, where the selkies are rumored to reside. It is an old family legend that her younger brother was swept away in his infancy and raised by a selkie. Part of the film takes place in Donegal."
The soundtrack's song "Fiona's Lullaby" had such an impact on me that I wrote a poem incorporating the Gaelic lullaby and its English translation into it. This video plays "Fiona's Lullaby" first and the lyrics, in Gaelic and English, are located to the right "more info" section. "Piper's Lullaby" is second and instrumental.
More info: Wikipedia article for film. IMDB for film info and trailers. Info for soundtrack. Listen to or purchase soundtrack on Amazon or iTunes.
Love Song for Bobby Long
I could go on forever about this movie. One, I love New Orleans and it is the central landscape and culture of the film. Two, the dialogue interests me because there's plenty of literary references to Moliere, Dickens, Twain, Auden, etc. That tugs at my literature heart. There's a character whom you both love and are confused by because of his mistakes and how he has complicated his life by them. You want to smack him while at the same time just sit on the porch enjoying a glass of whiskey or bourbon and talk about literature, society, the city.
This movie also includes the Carson McCullers novel The Heart is a Lonely Hunter, a paperback book that Purselane reads while waiting to get on the train but upon finishing it, changes her mind and stays in New Orleans. I finally read The Heart is a Lonely Hunter last summer, and it was a very good read.
Also, the movie's screenplay is based on the Ronald Everett Capps novel Off Magazine Street. I should read it someday.
The soundtrack features several songs written and performed by Grayson Capps, plus a few old traditional songs like "Barbara Allen" being performed by John Travolta while sitting outside with friends for a cookout. By the way, there are many versions of "The Ballad of Barbara Allen." A Myspace music profile was created by someone to feature several songs most loved from the film; Give it a listen. Or enjoy this video of Grayson Capps still performing his song "A Love Song for Bobby Long":
More info: Wikipedia article for film. IMDB for film info and trailers. Info for soundtrack. Listen to or purchase soundtrack on Amazon .
Frida
Let me count the ways in which I love Frida. Colorful, passionate, artistic, humorous, humbling, honest, full of conflict, history, and music. The acting demonstrates both the strength of the actors and actresses, and definitely the strength of those they portray. The human relationships, her strong will, her trust, his conflict with himself and with desiring to meet the common ground they share, but also failing. Her forgiveness and resilience. The story moves forward at a pace one can feel comfortable with, and it covers some historical moments and movements in Mexico. It demonstrates the cultural differences in the art worlds between Mexico City and New York City. The motivations that drive artists, expression and statement standing in the face of politicos and funders. Finding the honest venue for one's art.
I know I watched it while I was living in Hattiesburg, MS, working at a used bookstore, and attending my last graduate level classes in Library & Information Science at the University of Southern Mississippi. So this was probably September 2003. I also know that when I finished watching it I hit play again. Yes, I watched it twice in one evening I loved it so much.
Love the soundtrack, but one of the songs that always made me grin was Salma Hayek singing "La Bruja" in this bar scene. The translation of the lyrics are probably not that accurate, or just don't translate culturally very well into English.
More info: Wikipedia article for film. Wikipedia article for the artist Frida Kahlo. IMDB for film info and trailers. Wikipedia info for soundtrack. Listen to or purchase soundtrack on Amazon.
The Hours
I know I was working at a central Mississippi private school in 2002 when I saw The Hours one weekend. And I saw it three times in the movie theatre that weekend because I loved it so much. I've never done that before with any other movie. I already knew I loved something about Virginia Woolf, though I had only read one of her books and some of her letters. The idea of showing the author writing the book, another woman's life being impacted by the book, and then later a woman being the epitome of the character, I loved it. This is how literature spreads itself across people's lives. The score was somber, and it didn't leave a desire to listen to it without the film, but it definitely tugs at your emotions while watching the film whether you notice it or not.
This scene is one of the strongest ones depicting the struggles Virginia faced, continually, as herself and as a writer. And she asks so much patience from her husband, Leonard, and he makes sacrifices often to keep some kind of happiness and peace for her and their marriage. And one of my favorite quotes comes from this scene: "You cannot find peace by avoiding life, Leonard."
Once
I've only seen the film once, and I was in Kentucky at the time. I had only moved to Berea about 4 or 5 months earlier and was settling into my first house and first real 8-5 job. I moved to a small town where I knew no one but those whom I worked with and the students on campus. Thankfully everyone I met were warm people and creative individuals. It wasn't long before I met some great writerly people I still love and know. But when I first moved there I watched a lot of movies and read a lot. I tried working on my writing and never felt good enough at it. I listened to local bands and never really got to know them. I was reserved. And this film Once kinda touched me one evening and probably helped push me forward to meeting and getting to know people more. Plus it has a fantastic soundtrack. Follow The Swell Season, very talented musicians.
This video has incorporated clips from the film to the song "Falling Slowly" by The Swell Season.
More info: Wikipedia article for film and soundtrack. Wikipedia article for The Swell Season. IMDB for film info and trailers. Listen to or purchase soundtrack on Amazon.
Crazy Heart
This last one was a recent recommendation from a friend who knows my taste in music and film and likes much of the same himself. So when he mentioned he liked this movie and the theme song, "The Weary Kind" written by Ryan Bingham, I followed through and gave it a watch and listen. Immediately I fell into it. The film has a strong plot and dialogue that pulled on the same strings that let me love Love Song for Bobby Long so much. The theme song pulls the film together, and some familiar personalities I know might relate to the lyrics in a small way. I tend to be drawn to movies that have a central character who copes with alcohol problems and usually comes out on top, even there's some sacrifices or mistakes along the way. This is that movie, and Jeff Bridges is an exceptional actor.
I listened to "The Weary Kind" and loved it, and then decided to find other songs by Ryan Bingham. I have one of his earlier albums now, Dead Horses, on which I love "Southside of Heaven" and "Don't Wait For Me" especially. (These links are to YouTube videos for the songs or to the musician's website.)
Since the film just came out in 2009 and may still be in theatres, I can only find the trailer for showing, but it is a good one nonetheless.
More info: Wikipedia article for film and soundtrack. Wikipedia article for Ryan Bingham. IMDB for film info and trailers. Listen to or purchase soundtrack on Amazon.
Someone dear to my heart shot me an email a few days ago sharing some music he's been listening to lately, and a movie he'd seen and liked a lot. The movie,Crazy Heart, is about a old country musician, Bad Blake, truckin' from one hole-in-the-wall gig to another, drinkin' his days away with McClure's straight whiskey until he passes out, wakes and stumbles back out the door to drive his wagon to the next gig, sometimes over 300 miles away. He's bitter with disappointment and lack of enthusiastic support from his agent, and still holds a grudge against a younger musician who he mentored and whose popularity has soared. Bad meets a young reporter who asks some questions he cannot deny tugged at something he buried inside. Thus, the movie moves forward, the human condition transforms, self-realization and sacrifice, and giving in to a little hope and a lot of hard work, Bad becomes good. I won't spoil what transpires. I saw the movie in the theatre late last night, exiting into after-midnight crisp February air and the stars sparkling like the whiskey in Bad's glass. I slept with Ryan Bingham's song "The Weary Kind" echoing in my head, dreamed of a field at mid-afternoon in Oklahoma with tall weeds bending in the wind, and woke with the song still playing:
"And this ain't no place for the weary kind, And this ain't no place to lose your mind, And this ain't no place to fall behind. Pick up your crazy heart and give it one more try."
He mentioned that he'd had the song in his head, too. Knew that the song impressed him in some way. So I looked for more by Ryan Bingham. Turns out, his song written as the theme for Crazy Heart is up for an Oscar this March 2010. Way to go! I found his first album, Dead Horses, out there in blogland, and have it playing now. "Southside of Heaven" and "Don't Wait For Me" are favorites that still resonate -- lyrics and rhythms -- through me even after they have ended. So, I am impressed and drifting more to country that still hangs onto an honest sound, rather than succumbing to a country-pop-rock blur. I favor him as a soloist than as Ryan Bingham and The Dead Horses, but they're still really good. Be sure to check out all his albums.
"Along them Louisiana byways and lonesome highways, roll on. Won't you take me where the poor man lives; its where I call my home. And can't you see that a breeze is nothing but a change in pace. Money can't buy my soul 'cause it comes from a hard-earned place.
But on the southside of Heaven, won't you take me home, 'Cause I've been gone for so long, and lord, and it's getting cold."
I find it just a little mind-boggling how a book read twice during high school was one of the contributing texts that convinced me to not pursue drugs, curious as I might have been, and yet it continues to be banned and removed from public and school libraries. When I read it I did not know that it was actually a work of fiction or imaginatively compiled and edited diary entries of a psychologist's patient instead of the claimed anonymous diary of a troubled teen. Go Ask Alice was a quick read that both sparked curiosity in certain drugs but also solidified my own grounded sense of self-control and self-preservation. I wanted to be freer than I felt, but the stories told by those who went too far with drugs never presented them as being free and in control of their lives, but instead wracked with the turmoil caused by heroin, cocaine, acid, ecstasy, and meth.
I believe I read Foxfire by Joyce Carol Oates during my freshman year, or the summer before sophomore year. Foxfire was another novel that had a real weight of honesty and reality drawn into the plot. I don't remember specifics from the novel so much anymore because in 1996 a film was made from the novel, leaving out some of the lengthy plot and adding a few more twists. When I think of Foxfire I recall mostly scenes from the film. A mix-match group of girls bonded together by the same cause, who help and protect each other when various problems rise up in each one's lives. The hardest of them all is Goldie and how her drug addiction spirals into a mess of problems and disappointment.
