Its been an interesting few days to say the least. My mood has turned to the worst lately... moody, mopey... Just a lot going on in my head and heart. Maybe I will momentarily feel better come New Year's Eve... Put on a new face.
"So here I am again coming in from the cold,
Here I am again humming your tune,
Here I am again just waiting around
wishing, wishing I wasn't missing you,
wishing I wasn't missing you,
wishing I wasn't missing you...
So maybe I should go get lost,
Maybe I should go get drunk,
Maybe I should just forget all about you"
Sunday, December 30, 2007
Tuesday, December 18, 2007
archive: 18 december 2007: emotionally empty
I feel drained, tired. Maybe I should have called in sick. I thought about it when I first woke up, but then I pushed myself up and got going... I'm not sick. But just now I had a wave of just feeling extremely sad. Nothing to do with anything in particular, I guess. Just exhausted and overwhelmed and tired in general.
Last night I came to the conclusion that I don't like being in my own place alone for long... I don't mind working on my collages and art projects (I turn up the CD player really loud, sing along with the Beatles, S&G, Gillian, Lucinda, Emmylou), but I like hearing people around me, even if they are not in the same house. Some small strange comfort in that. Last night I watched Amelie on my laptop in Phoebe's apartment; she's in Louisville and I am checking up on her cat Gus/Pepper while she's gone. He finally came up to me for a while to let me pet him, but he's still agitated by his mites (note to self: check for the medicine again at Walmart soon). But sitting there watching that movie on my laptop and stringing beads for the collage... Sitting there in her apartment filled with a couch, table, ottoman, wall hangings and records and posters, lanterns -- things which describe a very good and close friend -- these things reflect something of her personality and presence. Is it strange to feel more comfortable in the environment of someone else's presence than your own? Maybe, like I started thinking last night, its just that I need to share a place with someone else -- apartment mate friend like I did in Hattiesburg, or eventually a lover/partner-in-crime....
I sincerely miss that kind of closeness. I am tired of this cold place that I call home which is only me and my stuff and my personality... It feels empty of something else. It feels empty of love from someone else.
Last night I came to the conclusion that I don't like being in my own place alone for long... I don't mind working on my collages and art projects (I turn up the CD player really loud, sing along with the Beatles, S&G, Gillian, Lucinda, Emmylou), but I like hearing people around me, even if they are not in the same house. Some small strange comfort in that. Last night I watched Amelie on my laptop in Phoebe's apartment; she's in Louisville and I am checking up on her cat Gus/Pepper while she's gone. He finally came up to me for a while to let me pet him, but he's still agitated by his mites (note to self: check for the medicine again at Walmart soon). But sitting there watching that movie on my laptop and stringing beads for the collage... Sitting there in her apartment filled with a couch, table, ottoman, wall hangings and records and posters, lanterns -- things which describe a very good and close friend -- these things reflect something of her personality and presence. Is it strange to feel more comfortable in the environment of someone else's presence than your own? Maybe, like I started thinking last night, its just that I need to share a place with someone else -- apartment mate friend like I did in Hattiesburg, or eventually a lover/partner-in-crime....
I sincerely miss that kind of closeness. I am tired of this cold place that I call home which is only me and my stuff and my personality... It feels empty of something else. It feels empty of love from someone else.
Monday, December 17, 2007
archive: 17 december 2007: ACA Angel
Sunday I created a card/book as a last Christmas present for the ACA President. A co-worker, Kat, wrote the story and I illustrated it with collage materials and folded it all up. I hope that it is well-liked. The staff really likes it.
Curious? Well, I do need to document the work I create, so here's pictures:
http://www.flickr.com/photos/blueathena7/sets/72157603483727179/
Curious? Well, I do need to document the work I create, so here's pictures:
http://www.flickr.com/photos/blueathena7/sets/72157603483727179/
Wednesday, December 12, 2007
archive: 12 december 2007: interview in january 2008
Now I have an on-campus interview scheduled for mid-January at Mars Hill College.
Ahhh! :) The chair of the search committee just called me to let me know they are interested in interviewing me in-person and to have me meet faculty, students, library staff, and to see the Ramsey Center and campus. Of course I have visited before, but not met the folks they really want me to meet.
Oooh. At least this gives me a little time to get a few more professional stylin' clothes. haha!
PS - Excited and nervous and sad... I have to remember what one friend said to me in a text one night when we were talking about missing people and losing them 'cause of moving: "Remember you don't have to lose anyone you don't want to."
Ahhh! :) The chair of the search committee just called me to let me know they are interested in interviewing me in-person and to have me meet faculty, students, library staff, and to see the Ramsey Center and campus. Of course I have visited before, but not met the folks they really want me to meet.
Oooh. At least this gives me a little time to get a few more professional stylin' clothes. haha!
PS - Excited and nervous and sad... I have to remember what one friend said to me in a text one night when we were talking about missing people and losing them 'cause of moving: "Remember you don't have to lose anyone you don't want to."
archive: 12 december 2007: merry-go-round
Phone calls and inquiries,
linen paper, letters and scores:
these moments swing around
like a merry-go-round.
I'm 7 again, small and fragile -
tough and invincible inside -
and playmates cling onto
rails, round and round,
their faces a swirled marble,
into one being, one memory.
Each person lost to the place,
the music, dancing, drinking,
smoking, joking, laughing...
Oh, laughter down to the heart.
First hugs, smiles not forgotten.
Art created, shared, given away.
Porch ramblings, drunk singing,
long walks talking poetry,
bluegrass jams and secret selves:
these indeed are of you and me.
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.... I still feel more is needed for this piece, but for now I have got to leave....
linen paper, letters and scores:
these moments swing around
like a merry-go-round.
I'm 7 again, small and fragile -
tough and invincible inside -
and playmates cling onto
rails, round and round,
their faces a swirled marble,
into one being, one memory.
Each person lost to the place,
the music, dancing, drinking,
smoking, joking, laughing...
Oh, laughter down to the heart.
First hugs, smiles not forgotten.
Art created, shared, given away.
Porch ramblings, drunk singing,
long walks talking poetry,
bluegrass jams and secret selves:
these indeed are of you and me.
-----------------------------------------------------------
.... I still feel more is needed for this piece, but for now I have got to leave....
Thursday, December 6, 2007
archive: 6 december 2007: conversations and thoughts
Last night was different and I am glad for it. Talked with a friend I never really get a chance to hang out with one-on-one. We talked about a ton of different things: moving, reasons for moving and what would be missed in doing so, how our situations are different, relationships of the past and how they ended, stories written, sex and past experiences, and some other things. Watched Snakes on a Plane cause it was on the TV. I said some things I had been thinking the other day, and we both agreed we had the same thoughts on that, too (for the most part).
Its true, its hard to look at the possibilities lying ahead and confront the conflicted feelings you hold within: I need a job that pays more so I can pay off my debts; I want work which feels more fulfilling & challenging; I might also need a different place where I may find someone to share time and love with... But why do I want to stay in Berea? Because I love some people here who have become my friends and family; Because this town has allowed me to be me and not feel judged; Because only in the last 6-8 months have I felt like I have gained a few close friends (though one may be moving soon too). Because I have been here for a while and it is hard to pick up and move to another place where you know no one. But I have done it and three years later I don't want to leave. I can do it again. I'm just going to be sad, will grieve, will well up inside and have to discover myself again, push myself to know and be with people. I failed at that when I first moved here and for two years didn't really succeed. It is not all one-sided though; As much as I may be afraid of intruding on others' time and therefore reluctant to call, it takes two to not let a friendship flourish: I may not call initially, but if they never call me then what else can I believe than they really aren't interested in growing a friendship. And I must not fear that I will lose contact with some people... I guess in that I must just settle for "what happens, happens."
Its true, its hard to look at the possibilities lying ahead and confront the conflicted feelings you hold within: I need a job that pays more so I can pay off my debts; I want work which feels more fulfilling & challenging; I might also need a different place where I may find someone to share time and love with... But why do I want to stay in Berea? Because I love some people here who have become my friends and family; Because this town has allowed me to be me and not feel judged; Because only in the last 6-8 months have I felt like I have gained a few close friends (though one may be moving soon too). Because I have been here for a while and it is hard to pick up and move to another place where you know no one. But I have done it and three years later I don't want to leave. I can do it again. I'm just going to be sad, will grieve, will well up inside and have to discover myself again, push myself to know and be with people. I failed at that when I first moved here and for two years didn't really succeed. It is not all one-sided though; As much as I may be afraid of intruding on others' time and therefore reluctant to call, it takes two to not let a friendship flourish: I may not call initially, but if they never call me then what else can I believe than they really aren't interested in growing a friendship. And I must not fear that I will lose contact with some people... I guess in that I must just settle for "what happens, happens."
Wednesday, December 5, 2007
archive: 5 december 2007: gifts and surprises
I just realized I do have a DVD burner on my laptop. I didn't know that! haha! I probably just forgot when I bought it because I was concerned with copying my CDs onto it.
OK. So I need to get some DVDs so I can record some of these videos that I created for myself and get them off my computer.
BUT what I really want to do is get a gift finished up. I downloaded this torrent file which contained pretty much everything Cyndi Lauper. This is for a friend who LOVES Cyndi. I didn't realize just how much stuff was in that file - tons of TV clips, music videos, televised concerts, entire albums, bootlegs, and a few miscellanea. I just need to get a bunch of DVDs and CDs and burn all this stuff for him. I didn't realize it would be so much, it kinda seems overwhelming...
I almost think I shouldn't make the art project I was going to make for him now because the two together would be so much it would be..... awkward. I don't know... I guess I will think about that some more later. Maybe I shouldn't worry about it. I just don't want it to be too much....
Tonight: Writers' group, THEN probably working on the art projects OR editing my poems. I also gotta go to the college library to fact-check some sources of my poems.
OK. So I need to get some DVDs so I can record some of these videos that I created for myself and get them off my computer.
BUT what I really want to do is get a gift finished up. I downloaded this torrent file which contained pretty much everything Cyndi Lauper. This is for a friend who LOVES Cyndi. I didn't realize just how much stuff was in that file - tons of TV clips, music videos, televised concerts, entire albums, bootlegs, and a few miscellanea. I just need to get a bunch of DVDs and CDs and burn all this stuff for him. I didn't realize it would be so much, it kinda seems overwhelming...
I almost think I shouldn't make the art project I was going to make for him now because the two together would be so much it would be..... awkward. I don't know... I guess I will think about that some more later. Maybe I shouldn't worry about it. I just don't want it to be too much....
Tonight: Writers' group, THEN probably working on the art projects OR editing my poems. I also gotta go to the college library to fact-check some sources of my poems.
Monday, December 3, 2007
archive: 3 decmeber 2007: fleetwood mac big love
I borrowed a friend's CD, Fleetwood Mac's The Dance, and ripped it onto my computer. I was listening to it last night when I got home and all day today I have had this song in my head and it really can't get out of my head.... "Big Love." Its not so much the lyrics (I am only just now going to go look them up) but its the guitar. Listen to it. You've got to understand why it sticks for me...
archive: 3 december 2007: a day without
It seems I am sad when a whole day goes by and I don't see two certain friends... I am sitting here wishing I could just call or visit at least one of them.
Ah, well... time to go anyway.
Ah, well... time to go anyway.
Friday, November 30, 2007
archive: 30 november 2007: good news
I have a phone interview on next Wednesday, Dec. 5, 2007 at 9 am for a position in North Carolina. I'm excited and nervous and hopeful and scared and reluctant but also eager... Such terrible conflicted feelings.
Tuesday, November 27, 2007
archive: 27 november 2007: banjo & art & holiday gifts
I have been plucking around on my banjo some lately. I started to learn John Hardy the other day from this one written tab, and then I look up the song elsewhere and its arranged a different way! Sounds completely different to me. ah well. That might be a bit strange for me sometimes.
I keep hearing songs on the radio or old ones I really like a lot and think to myself, "that probably would sound really neat on the banjo." hehehe. I am ready to figure out how to do that... Or, well... eager to learn!
Money is really screwed up for me right now. I want to start taking lessons but I don't think I will be able to afford to start this December even.... I was going to start in November but... yeah. I have got to start making some stuff at home so that I have Christmas presents for people. I will not be able to buy ANYTHING... I haven't figured out yet what I will make for my nephew.... He's 6, almost 7, and I want to get him books; He's reading on a 3rd grade level now and he's in 1st grade! So maybe I can find some discounted ones somewhere for him and maybe I should try making one just for him. Maybe? Hrm....
I think that's what I will try doing tonight, working on the art projects as gifts for a couple of friends. I need to figure out what kind of glue to use to glue paper, fabric, and other items to glass. I also have to design one for my mom and sister.... Figure out something for my brother-in-law... Something for my aunts and uncles.... AGH!!!!!!!! Maybe I will make some origami mobiles or something. *sigh* Time.... where does it all go?!
I keep hearing songs on the radio or old ones I really like a lot and think to myself, "that probably would sound really neat on the banjo." hehehe. I am ready to figure out how to do that... Or, well... eager to learn!
Money is really screwed up for me right now. I want to start taking lessons but I don't think I will be able to afford to start this December even.... I was going to start in November but... yeah. I have got to start making some stuff at home so that I have Christmas presents for people. I will not be able to buy ANYTHING... I haven't figured out yet what I will make for my nephew.... He's 6, almost 7, and I want to get him books; He's reading on a 3rd grade level now and he's in 1st grade! So maybe I can find some discounted ones somewhere for him and maybe I should try making one just for him. Maybe? Hrm....
I think that's what I will try doing tonight, working on the art projects as gifts for a couple of friends. I need to figure out what kind of glue to use to glue paper, fabric, and other items to glass. I also have to design one for my mom and sister.... Figure out something for my brother-in-law... Something for my aunts and uncles.... AGH!!!!!!!! Maybe I will make some origami mobiles or something. *sigh* Time.... where does it all go?!
Monday, November 26, 2007
archive: 26 november 2007: waking dreams poem
A complicated spot, this little ledge I am sitting on.
My legs swing out from under me, the street below
is busy with cars and buses and trucks and people...
Across from me are windows into offices, cubicles,
papers and fax machines, laptops revising articles
while the sun sets behind the granite structures
the rays haloing cityscape with gold-edged clouds.
In this space, small and unpredictable, I feel
a lift from within, the edge of me moving outward:
It is scary, this boundary opening wide into
arms and body under sheets in dreams before
sunrise, coffee, bagels, and sleepy-eyed hellos.
In those warm moments, close heartbeat echo
slumbering breath moving inward and outward,
I sink into the gentle rhythm calmed, comforted
by body and blanket heat, a hand encircles waist,
a soft pull of gravity into a cup of breathing warmth.
In morning the dream falls like autumn gingko leaves
when the weight of warmth wakens the body to flight,
knowing the dream relentlessly whispers a simple need.
Mornings move forward with meanderings to cold benches
beneath red maples, long footsteps on rain-soaked sidewalks,
folding into afternoons of the same motions, keys clacking,
papers printing, emails sent and received and responded...
all to lead once again to the same dream night after night.
This ledge is cold even in the wake of comforting illusions:
This lifted feeling waits for reality to awake into my dream
so waking from the warm cup of gentleness will not feel cold
when the sheets fall away shivering, autumn leaves falling.
---------------------------------
I have those dreams often lately, but not sitting on ledges overlooking cityscapes (but if in metaphor). Hrm. I wonder if this poem actually accurately portrays my thoughts on this. I think it might. Kinda random poem. I need to write the other 2-3 for the Lexington Lives series, not personal intimate yearnings.
D'oh!
My legs swing out from under me, the street below
is busy with cars and buses and trucks and people...
Across from me are windows into offices, cubicles,
papers and fax machines, laptops revising articles
while the sun sets behind the granite structures
the rays haloing cityscape with gold-edged clouds.
In this space, small and unpredictable, I feel
a lift from within, the edge of me moving outward:
It is scary, this boundary opening wide into
arms and body under sheets in dreams before
sunrise, coffee, bagels, and sleepy-eyed hellos.
In those warm moments, close heartbeat echo
slumbering breath moving inward and outward,
I sink into the gentle rhythm calmed, comforted
by body and blanket heat, a hand encircles waist,
a soft pull of gravity into a cup of breathing warmth.
In morning the dream falls like autumn gingko leaves
when the weight of warmth wakens the body to flight,
knowing the dream relentlessly whispers a simple need.
Mornings move forward with meanderings to cold benches
beneath red maples, long footsteps on rain-soaked sidewalks,
folding into afternoons of the same motions, keys clacking,
papers printing, emails sent and received and responded...
all to lead once again to the same dream night after night.
This ledge is cold even in the wake of comforting illusions:
This lifted feeling waits for reality to awake into my dream
so waking from the warm cup of gentleness will not feel cold
when the sheets fall away shivering, autumn leaves falling.
---------------------------------
I have those dreams often lately, but not sitting on ledges overlooking cityscapes (but if in metaphor). Hrm. I wonder if this poem actually accurately portrays my thoughts on this. I think it might. Kinda random poem. I need to write the other 2-3 for the Lexington Lives series, not personal intimate yearnings.
D'oh!
Tuesday, November 20, 2007
archive: 20 november 2007: thanksgiving
I am going home to Mississippi tomorrow (Wednesday) to see my Mom, my sister, nephew, brother-in-law, uncles and aunts, and some friends if I catch up with them. It'll be a long drive and I doubt my car is capable of making that drive anymore so I am renting a car from Enterprise for Wednesday through Sunday. It wasn't a bad deal online.
I know this is something not quite right to say, but... I kinda would rather stay up here in Berea for this holiday. I'm not looking forward to whatever confrontation that'll end up arising because of my brother-in-law.... He always gets royally pissy around Thanksgiving and Christmas. I don't know why. But I really miss my nephew and I want to spend some time with him. I haven't seen Mom since last Christmas and I do miss her. I want to see where all she's got her paintings on display and to take pictures of them for her. I think I will create a website for her artwork as a Christmas present, maybe...?
I am so stuffed from the Thanksgiving lunch at work today. I fixed a couple plates for Phoebe and Adam to have tonight... Not much but something to share.
I hope I stop having these terrible dreams. I have been having some strange dreams that have left me feeling extremely weird.... Scenerios that would never happen. Ugh. Maybe I was feeling some of the negative energy that was going on in other places last night. Maybe?
I am not looking forward to that long drive tomorrow, but I will deal with it. Going to hit BC&T before getting on the road; must have my caffeine fix. I'll come back on Saturday. Tonight I have to get some stuff packed and leave the apartment ready for the cats for 4 days/3 nights. I've done this before with them and they are always fine. Any longer than that though really needs someone to visit them... I might ask someone to help with that during Christmas....
I know this is something not quite right to say, but... I kinda would rather stay up here in Berea for this holiday. I'm not looking forward to whatever confrontation that'll end up arising because of my brother-in-law.... He always gets royally pissy around Thanksgiving and Christmas. I don't know why. But I really miss my nephew and I want to spend some time with him. I haven't seen Mom since last Christmas and I do miss her. I want to see where all she's got her paintings on display and to take pictures of them for her. I think I will create a website for her artwork as a Christmas present, maybe...?
I am so stuffed from the Thanksgiving lunch at work today. I fixed a couple plates for Phoebe and Adam to have tonight... Not much but something to share.
I hope I stop having these terrible dreams. I have been having some strange dreams that have left me feeling extremely weird.... Scenerios that would never happen. Ugh. Maybe I was feeling some of the negative energy that was going on in other places last night. Maybe?
I am not looking forward to that long drive tomorrow, but I will deal with it. Going to hit BC&T before getting on the road; must have my caffeine fix. I'll come back on Saturday. Tonight I have to get some stuff packed and leave the apartment ready for the cats for 4 days/3 nights. I've done this before with them and they are always fine. Any longer than that though really needs someone to visit them... I might ask someone to help with that during Christmas....
Saturday, November 10, 2007
archive: 10 november 2007: all about tattoos
A friend of an old college friend is working on collecting stories about people's tattoos and the how's and why's they get them. This is what I sent to her. If you're interested in sharing your story with her, message me and I will send you the profile and questions to respond to. :)
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I have two tattoos. The first one I got on July 18, 2001, when I was going to graduate school at the University of Southern Mississippi. My birthday was in September and the tattoo was a 25th birthday present to myself. I knew as early as 1997 that I wanted a tattoo. I started looking at images online, particularly celtic knots and designs. I liked them all, but then I found one that really struck me, so I saved the image on my computer and had it as a desktop background for a while. Then I went to England, Wales, and Ireland for a couple weeks in the Spring of 2001. While there I bought a wall tapestry, a stamp, and some earrings. When I arrived home and laid my loot out to see it all, I realized those particular items all had the same design, the same one I had saved on my computer. I had not realized it was the same exact design when I bought the items! So to me it seemed to say, "This is a design you should get as a tattoo." So, I basically had thought about that first tattoo for a little less than 5 years before getting it. This one is a celtic knot design. I was told it was called the Four Airets, but I have not been able to find this information online again. It is a celtic knot with four divisions. When I think of the meaning of this tattoo it is not one definition, but multiple ones. The four divisions can represent the four directions, the four seasons, the four elements, the four stages of being a woman (Little Girl, Maiden, Mother/Nurturer, and Crone/Wise Woman), etc. I like thinking of this tattoo as being multiple things at the same time because we as individuals are multiple things at the same time, ie, I am daughter, sister, cousin, friend, lover, care-giver, artist, poet, citizen, etc. This tattoo refers to no significance to anyone else but myself. When others see the Four Airets they only see a celtic knot with four parts, so I enjoy explaining what it means to me. When I got the Four Airets I was taking graduate school courses during the summer and staying with a friend. I was away from home and I could get something without my folks really knowing, so I had been told about a patricular tattoo parlor that was a good one, they had good artists, and it was a clean place. I knew my dad would disapprove so I never told him or my mother. I nearly got away for a year without my mom knowing about this tattoo. I was going to tell her about it on the one year anniversary of having it, but she spied it when I was in the dressing room when we went shopping. She was surprised, but then she just laughed it off. For the most part she was concerned about formal occassions and how other professionals might perceive it. This tattoo is on my back right shoulder blade (where the deltoid muscle overlaps the scapula), so it is easy to hide on a daily basis, and I told her that if ever I need to wear a formal dress for an occassion then I would choose one which had a large enough strap to cover it, if I felt it necessary. I come from Central Mississippi and my mother was definitely one concerned about outward appearances and how others would perceive me with a visible tattoo.
After moving to Kentucky for work, I got my second tattoo at a parlor in Lexington in March of 2005 when I was 28. The second tattoo is a slightly different story. My dad died March of 2004 and I wanted to get a tattoo in June of that same year, which is his birth month. But I could not settle on a design. So I decided that I would wait a year, find a design during that time I really liked, and get the tattoo in March 2005 to memorialize his death. So it took me a year to decide on the design for my second tattoo. In Lexington I was seeing someone who already had several tattoos and she recommended a person who she knew was really good. I had a conference with the tattooist about a week before the tattoo appointment to meet him and to discuss the design. I wanted this tattoo to have some depiction of plants or trees, but to also have some reference to myself and some symbolization of family connection. This is when I came across the Tree of Life. It was perfect. Since my dad's business was landscaping, the tree was a great symbol for his appreciation for trees and shrubbery. The limbs and roots are interwoven in this version of the Tree of Life, and this serves as the family tree symbol for me: I am connected to my father and all other family. The Tree of Life also is a design that I appreciate greatly simply because it is an intricate and beautiful design. The Tree of Life is definitely a tree and others might think that I simply have a great admiration for nature and trees, which is true but only part of the story behind the tattoo; they would never know it memorializes my father without me telling the story. I showed this tattoo to my mom a few months after I got it and told her why I got it. She didn't exactly approve but didn't express total disapproval either. This one is also on my back, but on my left shoulder blade.
Many people told me that getting a tattoo was like getting stung by a bee many times in a row. I had never been stung by a bee and still haven't! I do, however, have a somewhat high tolerance to pain. The first few minutes of getting a tattoo does hurt a little bit, but then the muscle and skin gets a little numb and I wait it out. Both times I thought it was going to hurt a lot more than it did, but neither were quite that bad.
I want to get more tattoos. Both tattoos are round, but the Four Airets is about half the size of the Tree of Life. I want to add a celtic ring around the Four Airets to make it about as large as the second tat. I also want to get two more tattoos but these would be on the outer shoulders (deltoid muscle) just over the ball-and-socket joint. On my right one I would get the Virgo symbol and on my left one I would get the Chinese Characters for "Fire Dragon" or just the one for "Dragon." I am interested in astrology, mostly as a hobby, but it has always been of interest to me. These two symbols would further describe me as I am. It is possible I will choose not to get either of those designs, but settle for a celtic design of a dragon I have created by merging two designs I found online. If I got this, it would be a larger tattoo than just the characters and I would want to put it on my back, or I might be bold and put it on my right upper arm, right where the deltoid muscle meets the other muscles. I also want to add two vines on my back. These would run parallel to the spine (tattooing over the spine makes me nervous) and then they would branch over the shoulder and back down a little (still on the back). It will probably be quite some time before I get this tattoo as I have yet to find a vine design I favor a lot and it will cost considerably more to have this done, if I ever choose to do it. I have always thought that the tattoos at the small of the back looked sexy, but I don't think that I could manage getting one there because I am very sensitive in that spot. I might not get my next tattoo until I am in another state (Four Airets, Mississippi; Tree of Life, Kentucky) or maybe I should have gotten my third one this year since it was three years between the first two and it is now three years since my second one, but finances is tight and I don't think it will happen. Besides, I do like to put a lot of thought into getting my tattoos because I know this is something I will have on my body for the rest of my life. It has got to mean something to me. Like an ex said to me once: Tattoos are addictive. I agree.
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I have two tattoos. The first one I got on July 18, 2001, when I was going to graduate school at the University of Southern Mississippi. My birthday was in September and the tattoo was a 25th birthday present to myself. I knew as early as 1997 that I wanted a tattoo. I started looking at images online, particularly celtic knots and designs. I liked them all, but then I found one that really struck me, so I saved the image on my computer and had it as a desktop background for a while. Then I went to England, Wales, and Ireland for a couple weeks in the Spring of 2001. While there I bought a wall tapestry, a stamp, and some earrings. When I arrived home and laid my loot out to see it all, I realized those particular items all had the same design, the same one I had saved on my computer. I had not realized it was the same exact design when I bought the items! So to me it seemed to say, "This is a design you should get as a tattoo." So, I basically had thought about that first tattoo for a little less than 5 years before getting it. This one is a celtic knot design. I was told it was called the Four Airets, but I have not been able to find this information online again. It is a celtic knot with four divisions. When I think of the meaning of this tattoo it is not one definition, but multiple ones. The four divisions can represent the four directions, the four seasons, the four elements, the four stages of being a woman (Little Girl, Maiden, Mother/Nurturer, and Crone/Wise Woman), etc. I like thinking of this tattoo as being multiple things at the same time because we as individuals are multiple things at the same time, ie, I am daughter, sister, cousin, friend, lover, care-giver, artist, poet, citizen, etc. This tattoo refers to no significance to anyone else but myself. When others see the Four Airets they only see a celtic knot with four parts, so I enjoy explaining what it means to me. When I got the Four Airets I was taking graduate school courses during the summer and staying with a friend. I was away from home and I could get something without my folks really knowing, so I had been told about a patricular tattoo parlor that was a good one, they had good artists, and it was a clean place. I knew my dad would disapprove so I never told him or my mother. I nearly got away for a year without my mom knowing about this tattoo. I was going to tell her about it on the one year anniversary of having it, but she spied it when I was in the dressing room when we went shopping. She was surprised, but then she just laughed it off. For the most part she was concerned about formal occassions and how other professionals might perceive it. This tattoo is on my back right shoulder blade (where the deltoid muscle overlaps the scapula), so it is easy to hide on a daily basis, and I told her that if ever I need to wear a formal dress for an occassion then I would choose one which had a large enough strap to cover it, if I felt it necessary. I come from Central Mississippi and my mother was definitely one concerned about outward appearances and how others would perceive me with a visible tattoo.
After moving to Kentucky for work, I got my second tattoo at a parlor in Lexington in March of 2005 when I was 28. The second tattoo is a slightly different story. My dad died March of 2004 and I wanted to get a tattoo in June of that same year, which is his birth month. But I could not settle on a design. So I decided that I would wait a year, find a design during that time I really liked, and get the tattoo in March 2005 to memorialize his death. So it took me a year to decide on the design for my second tattoo. In Lexington I was seeing someone who already had several tattoos and she recommended a person who she knew was really good. I had a conference with the tattooist about a week before the tattoo appointment to meet him and to discuss the design. I wanted this tattoo to have some depiction of plants or trees, but to also have some reference to myself and some symbolization of family connection. This is when I came across the Tree of Life. It was perfect. Since my dad's business was landscaping, the tree was a great symbol for his appreciation for trees and shrubbery. The limbs and roots are interwoven in this version of the Tree of Life, and this serves as the family tree symbol for me: I am connected to my father and all other family. The Tree of Life also is a design that I appreciate greatly simply because it is an intricate and beautiful design. The Tree of Life is definitely a tree and others might think that I simply have a great admiration for nature and trees, which is true but only part of the story behind the tattoo; they would never know it memorializes my father without me telling the story. I showed this tattoo to my mom a few months after I got it and told her why I got it. She didn't exactly approve but didn't express total disapproval either. This one is also on my back, but on my left shoulder blade.
Many people told me that getting a tattoo was like getting stung by a bee many times in a row. I had never been stung by a bee and still haven't! I do, however, have a somewhat high tolerance to pain. The first few minutes of getting a tattoo does hurt a little bit, but then the muscle and skin gets a little numb and I wait it out. Both times I thought it was going to hurt a lot more than it did, but neither were quite that bad.
I want to get more tattoos. Both tattoos are round, but the Four Airets is about half the size of the Tree of Life. I want to add a celtic ring around the Four Airets to make it about as large as the second tat. I also want to get two more tattoos but these would be on the outer shoulders (deltoid muscle) just over the ball-and-socket joint. On my right one I would get the Virgo symbol and on my left one I would get the Chinese Characters for "Fire Dragon" or just the one for "Dragon." I am interested in astrology, mostly as a hobby, but it has always been of interest to me. These two symbols would further describe me as I am. It is possible I will choose not to get either of those designs, but settle for a celtic design of a dragon I have created by merging two designs I found online. If I got this, it would be a larger tattoo than just the characters and I would want to put it on my back, or I might be bold and put it on my right upper arm, right where the deltoid muscle meets the other muscles. I also want to add two vines on my back. These would run parallel to the spine (tattooing over the spine makes me nervous) and then they would branch over the shoulder and back down a little (still on the back). It will probably be quite some time before I get this tattoo as I have yet to find a vine design I favor a lot and it will cost considerably more to have this done, if I ever choose to do it. I have always thought that the tattoos at the small of the back looked sexy, but I don't think that I could manage getting one there because I am very sensitive in that spot. I might not get my next tattoo until I am in another state (Four Airets, Mississippi; Tree of Life, Kentucky) or maybe I should have gotten my third one this year since it was three years between the first two and it is now three years since my second one, but finances is tight and I don't think it will happen. Besides, I do like to put a lot of thought into getting my tattoos because I know this is something I will have on my body for the rest of my life. It has got to mean something to me. Like an ex said to me once: Tattoos are addictive. I agree.
Thursday, November 8, 2007
archive: 8 november 2007: emmylou harris
I love this song, "Goin' Back to Harlan." I've always known the Emmylou Harris cover, but just recently found the Anna and Kate McGarrigle original. The first video below is of Anna and Kate McGarrigle with Emmylou Harris performing the song with some fiddlers, a banjoist, and others. There's not a video on Youtube of just Emmylou Harris performing the song.
I also LOVE "Deeper Well."
"Deeper Well" is an original by David Olney:
Folk Alley Interview: http://www.folkalley.com/music/extras/david-olney/
David Olney official website: http://www.davidolney.com/
I also LOVE "Deeper Well."
"Deeper Well" is an original by David Olney:
Folk Alley Interview: http://www.folkalley.com/music/extras/david-olney/
David Olney official website: http://www.davidolney.com/
Tuesday, November 6, 2007
archive: 6 november 2007: update of randomness
So... Work's required of me a few charts, whatever quotes I can find, and some pictures for a few programs here. I have been able to gather a good bit of the info she wanted, but not the Central Library stuff; Dianne's gone for the week and she would have all that info. I can pull a little probably from the annual reports, but... that won't be very representative of it.
Weekend was really good. Friday night was fun chillin' at Pheebs: bunch of people came by and Brian is a real kicker. The three virgos (Kelly, Bev, and me) finished the night, leaving Phoebe's place straightened up and ready for the morning and P bringing her a bed. Saturday night began with the Sundogs playing at Ground Effects. Carol played with them for a while and then Robert showed up, so then it was Sundogs and Mudpi. We went over to Glen's afterwards for a while (Boots Sarah, too!) to sit around the wood-burning stove (nice!) and talk and chat and listen to music. It was a good time. Sunday morning opened with an early morning for me, then laundry, and then the KFTC Friendraiser potluck. Phoebe managed to come to that and then afterwards I went over to Adam's to catch the Simpsons Halloween episodes for last year and this year. That was good.
And I really should do this more often, but I went for a late night walk Sunday evening after a glass of wine. I listened to my little mp3 player - Love that Emmylou Harris. "Deeper Well" and "Goin' Back to Harlan" really was sinking in. I hope one day I can hear Emmylou perform live.
Monday... Work and work... then the storm came. I rushed about trying to get myself ready for yoga class. That is the most relaxing yoga class ever. I love it. I am glad I am taking it. It makes me feel great for the rest of the week, or at least for a few days. Went by Phoebe's afterwards to give her Sarah's tobacco which got left in my car Saturday night, and ended up staying for a while longer chatting with Core too.
Today is Tuesday! Election day. Know who you're voting for?
http://www.votesmart.org
http://www.kentuckyelection.org/
Weekend was really good. Friday night was fun chillin' at Pheebs: bunch of people came by and Brian is a real kicker. The three virgos (Kelly, Bev, and me) finished the night, leaving Phoebe's place straightened up and ready for the morning and P bringing her a bed. Saturday night began with the Sundogs playing at Ground Effects. Carol played with them for a while and then Robert showed up, so then it was Sundogs and Mudpi. We went over to Glen's afterwards for a while (Boots Sarah, too!) to sit around the wood-burning stove (nice!) and talk and chat and listen to music. It was a good time. Sunday morning opened with an early morning for me, then laundry, and then the KFTC Friendraiser potluck. Phoebe managed to come to that and then afterwards I went over to Adam's to catch the Simpsons Halloween episodes for last year and this year. That was good.
And I really should do this more often, but I went for a late night walk Sunday evening after a glass of wine. I listened to my little mp3 player - Love that Emmylou Harris. "Deeper Well" and "Goin' Back to Harlan" really was sinking in. I hope one day I can hear Emmylou perform live.
Monday... Work and work... then the storm came. I rushed about trying to get myself ready for yoga class. That is the most relaxing yoga class ever. I love it. I am glad I am taking it. It makes me feel great for the rest of the week, or at least for a few days. Went by Phoebe's afterwards to give her Sarah's tobacco which got left in my car Saturday night, and ended up staying for a while longer chatting with Core too.
Today is Tuesday! Election day. Know who you're voting for?
http://www.votesmart.org
http://www.kentuckyelection.org/
Monday, October 29, 2007
archive: 29 october 2007: summit videos
I created two videos for the student sessions presentations. They've been sent to a number of people to enjoy and watch. The videos will hopefully contribute to promoting the ACA's student opportunities.
Thursday, October 25, 2007
archive: 25 october 2007: understanding
Maybe one of the things that motivates me to want to help someone else come out of their own hole, their own sunken ship, is that I have been in the same position. How can one help another in this way? One is that both come out with the strengths and encouragement of the other, but as long as neither berates oneself for long about faults and flaws. The only problem is that scenerio is all too optimistic and very often unrealistic. As much as I would like to help someone see that they can do so much more and be happier with oneself... As much as I would like to say over and over again, "you're intelligent; you're attractive; if you'd just get up and go get what you want, you'll be happier."
I know the same applies to me. It doesn't take others telling me that I need to bring myself out of this rut. No, it takes me noticing that someone else I care about is very much in a similar spot, and although I am sympathetic and wish him the best, I cannot do much more than that. He will have to do it himself. And the same goes for me.
That's all for now...
I know the same applies to me. It doesn't take others telling me that I need to bring myself out of this rut. No, it takes me noticing that someone else I care about is very much in a similar spot, and although I am sympathetic and wish him the best, I cannot do much more than that. He will have to do it himself. And the same goes for me.
That's all for now...
Tuesday, October 23, 2007
archive: 23 october 2007: recent quotes
I watched a movie I have always liked a lot again last night... I knew there were some quotes in it I appreciated at one time and needed to read again...
"We must assume our existence as broadly as we in any way can; everything, even the unheard-of, must be possible in it. That is at bottom the only courage that is demanded of us: to have courage for the most strange, the most singular and the most inexplicable that we may encounter. That mankind has in this sense been cowardly has done life endless harm; the experiences that are called "visions," the whole so-called "spirit-world," death, all those things that are so closely akin to us, have by daily parrying been so crowded out of life that the senses with which we could have grasped them are atrophied. To say nothing of God. But fear of the inexplicable has not alone impoverished the existence of the individual; the relationship between one human being and another has also been cramped by it, as though it had been lifted out of the riverbed of endless possibilities and set down in a fallow spot on the bank, to which nothing happens. For it is not inertia alone that is responsible for human relationships repeating themselves from case to case, indescribably monotonous and unrenewed: it is shyness before any sort of new, unforeseeable experience with which one does not think oneself able to cope. But only someone who is ready for everything, who excludes nothing, not even the most enigmatical, will live the relation to another as something alive and will himself draw exhaustively from his own existence. For if we think of this existence of the individual as a larger or smaller room, it appears evident that most people learn to know only a corner of their room, a place by the window, a strip of floor on which they walk up and down. Thus they have a certain security. And yet that dangerous insecurity is so much more human which drives the prisoners in Poe's stories to feel out the shapes of their horrible dungeons and not be strangers to the unspeakable terror of their abode. We, however, are not prisoners. No traps or snares are set about us, and there is nothing which should intimidate or worry us. We are set down in life as in the element to which we best correspond, and over and above this we have through thousands of years of accommodation become so like this life, that when we hold still we are, through a happy mimicry, scarcely to be distinguished from all that surrounds us. We have no reason to mistrust our world, for it is not against us. Has it terrors, they are our terrors; has it abysses, those abuses belong to us; are dangers at hand, we must try to love them. And if only we arrange our life according to that principle which counsels us that we must always hold to the difficult, then that which now still seems to us the most alien will become what we most trust and find most faithful. How should we be able to forget those ancient myths about dragons that at the last moment turn into princesses; perhaps all the dragons of our lives are princesses who are only waiting to see us once beautiful and brave. Perhaps everything terrible is in its deepest being something helpless that wants help from us." - Rainer Maria Rilke
"We don't see things as they are; We see things as we are." - Anais Nin
"We don't click in any ways... We don't have chemistry or banter or common interests... You don't appreciate the chaos and absurdity of life on this planet. You don't understand irony, or ethnicity, or eccentricity, or poetry, or the simple joy of being a regular at the diner on your block. I love that. You don't drink coffee or alcohol. You don't over eat. You don't cry when you're alone. You don't understand sarcasm. You plod through life in a neat, colorless, caffeine free, dairy free, conflict free way. I'm bold and angry and tortured and tremendous and I notice when someone has changed their hair part, or when someone is wearing two very distinctly different shades of black or when someone changes the natural timber of their voice on the phone. I don't give out empty praise. I'm not complacent or well-adjusted. I can't spend fifty minutes breathing and stretching and getting in touch with myself. I can't spend three minutes finishing an article. I check my answering machine nine times every day and I can't sleep at night because I feel that there is so much to do and fix and change in the world, and I wonder every day if I am making a difference and if I will ever express the greatness within me, or if I will remain forever paralyzed by the muddled madness inside my head. I've wept on every birthday I've ever had because life is huge and fleeting and I hate certain people in certain shoes and I feel that life is terribly unfair and sometimes beautiful and wonderful and extraordinary but also numbing and horrifying and insurmountable and I hate myself a lot of the time. The rest of the time I adore myself and I adore my life in this city and in this world we live in. This huge and wondrous, bewildering, brilliant, horrible world. ...In these ways I feel that we do not click." - from Kissing Jessica Stein, written by Heather Juergensen & Jennifer Westfeldt
"We must assume our existence as broadly as we in any way can; everything, even the unheard-of, must be possible in it. That is at bottom the only courage that is demanded of us: to have courage for the most strange, the most singular and the most inexplicable that we may encounter. That mankind has in this sense been cowardly has done life endless harm; the experiences that are called "visions," the whole so-called "spirit-world," death, all those things that are so closely akin to us, have by daily parrying been so crowded out of life that the senses with which we could have grasped them are atrophied. To say nothing of God. But fear of the inexplicable has not alone impoverished the existence of the individual; the relationship between one human being and another has also been cramped by it, as though it had been lifted out of the riverbed of endless possibilities and set down in a fallow spot on the bank, to which nothing happens. For it is not inertia alone that is responsible for human relationships repeating themselves from case to case, indescribably monotonous and unrenewed: it is shyness before any sort of new, unforeseeable experience with which one does not think oneself able to cope. But only someone who is ready for everything, who excludes nothing, not even the most enigmatical, will live the relation to another as something alive and will himself draw exhaustively from his own existence. For if we think of this existence of the individual as a larger or smaller room, it appears evident that most people learn to know only a corner of their room, a place by the window, a strip of floor on which they walk up and down. Thus they have a certain security. And yet that dangerous insecurity is so much more human which drives the prisoners in Poe's stories to feel out the shapes of their horrible dungeons and not be strangers to the unspeakable terror of their abode. We, however, are not prisoners. No traps or snares are set about us, and there is nothing which should intimidate or worry us. We are set down in life as in the element to which we best correspond, and over and above this we have through thousands of years of accommodation become so like this life, that when we hold still we are, through a happy mimicry, scarcely to be distinguished from all that surrounds us. We have no reason to mistrust our world, for it is not against us. Has it terrors, they are our terrors; has it abysses, those abuses belong to us; are dangers at hand, we must try to love them. And if only we arrange our life according to that principle which counsels us that we must always hold to the difficult, then that which now still seems to us the most alien will become what we most trust and find most faithful. How should we be able to forget those ancient myths about dragons that at the last moment turn into princesses; perhaps all the dragons of our lives are princesses who are only waiting to see us once beautiful and brave. Perhaps everything terrible is in its deepest being something helpless that wants help from us." - Rainer Maria Rilke
"We don't see things as they are; We see things as we are." - Anais Nin
"We don't click in any ways... We don't have chemistry or banter or common interests... You don't appreciate the chaos and absurdity of life on this planet. You don't understand irony, or ethnicity, or eccentricity, or poetry, or the simple joy of being a regular at the diner on your block. I love that. You don't drink coffee or alcohol. You don't over eat. You don't cry when you're alone. You don't understand sarcasm. You plod through life in a neat, colorless, caffeine free, dairy free, conflict free way. I'm bold and angry and tortured and tremendous and I notice when someone has changed their hair part, or when someone is wearing two very distinctly different shades of black or when someone changes the natural timber of their voice on the phone. I don't give out empty praise. I'm not complacent or well-adjusted. I can't spend fifty minutes breathing and stretching and getting in touch with myself. I can't spend three minutes finishing an article. I check my answering machine nine times every day and I can't sleep at night because I feel that there is so much to do and fix and change in the world, and I wonder every day if I am making a difference and if I will ever express the greatness within me, or if I will remain forever paralyzed by the muddled madness inside my head. I've wept on every birthday I've ever had because life is huge and fleeting and I hate certain people in certain shoes and I feel that life is terribly unfair and sometimes beautiful and wonderful and extraordinary but also numbing and horrifying and insurmountable and I hate myself a lot of the time. The rest of the time I adore myself and I adore my life in this city and in this world we live in. This huge and wondrous, bewildering, brilliant, horrible world. ...In these ways I feel that we do not click." - from Kissing Jessica Stein, written by Heather Juergensen & Jennifer Westfeldt
Sunday, October 14, 2007
archive: 14 october 2007: mood swings
"Characteristics: Emotional charge and sensitivity increases. Do not get swept away by irritability, mood-swings, hysteria, big and small excitements, desire to quickly change everything. People tend to become more conscious of self and others, and see everything in dark tones.
It is a good time for self-analysis and self-improvement, correction of bad habits and shortcomings. When we improve, so does the world around us."
This is exactly how I have been feeling this weekend. Why don't I pay attention? Saturday and Sunday, all day, especially Saturday... I felt completely unwanted and disliked, unappreciated and forgotten. I expect too much of others doing as they said they would do. Just because I will try my best to do as I said I would, and if I can't I let those dependent on it know, doesn't mean others do. It just disappoints me when others don't do that. For me, it is a matter of respect and value of friendship, effort and care. That's why I do those things, and that's why I feel terrible when others let me down by not doing those things.
I guess I had better get used to people being this way, not believing them when they say they will do something. Then I can be surprised when they do follow through. But then I might get used to that. It is all easier said than done.
And then there's this matter of definition. How does one define friend, personally? There are many kinds of friends. It seems mine come and go quite easily. The close ones.... rare and very far between indeed.
It is a good time for self-analysis and self-improvement, correction of bad habits and shortcomings. When we improve, so does the world around us."
This is exactly how I have been feeling this weekend. Why don't I pay attention? Saturday and Sunday, all day, especially Saturday... I felt completely unwanted and disliked, unappreciated and forgotten. I expect too much of others doing as they said they would do. Just because I will try my best to do as I said I would, and if I can't I let those dependent on it know, doesn't mean others do. It just disappoints me when others don't do that. For me, it is a matter of respect and value of friendship, effort and care. That's why I do those things, and that's why I feel terrible when others let me down by not doing those things.
I guess I had better get used to people being this way, not believing them when they say they will do something. Then I can be surprised when they do follow through. But then I might get used to that. It is all easier said than done.
And then there's this matter of definition. How does one define friend, personally? There are many kinds of friends. It seems mine come and go quite easily. The close ones.... rare and very far between indeed.
Friday, October 12, 2007
archive: 12 october 2007: mama j you will be missed
One of my favorite teachers in high school was "Mama J." She was my yearbook teacher all four years and she encouraged me to pursue photography and magazine design. I continued with the photography but never went further with the design. She had this high pitched voice, was caring and attentive, but was quick to make sure no one walked on her either. I have one of her little water colors... I wrote her several times after I graduated undergrad and graduate school, just to let her know what I was up to and that I wished her well and wanted to know how she was doing. I need to find that water color at home, frame it, and put it on the wall.
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MADISON — A Madison woman has died following a two-car collision on I-55 this week.
Vera M. Jaeger, 74, of Madison was transported to the University of Mississippi Medical Center where she died of multiple trauma from injuries sustained in the wreck Tuesday, Madison County Coroner Alex Breeland said.
The wreck had noon traffic backed up along I-55 north for more than an hour.
Jaeger's Toyota Camry was struck by an 18-wheeler driven by Michael Ongley, 50, of Morton, Ill., after Jaeger reportedly attempted to switch into one lane then jerked back to the other, according to a news release from Madison police.
Ongley was not injured.
Witnesses told police that it appeared Jaeger had passed the 18-wheeler, which was in the center lane. She attempted to enter the far right lane, but another vehicle was there, so she attempted to go back to the center lane, according to the release. Witnesses said it appeared she had overcompensated.
The third vehicle was not hit.
No charges have been filed in the wreck, but police said they would be investigating it.
Vera Menning Jaeger, Madison, MS
Vera Menning "Billie" Jaeger, 73, a retired school teacher with Madison County Schools, died Tuesday, October 9, 2007 at University Medical Center in Jackson, Mississippi. Visitation is today at 1:00 p.m. at Ascension Lutheran Church in Jackson, Mississippi. Funeral services are 2:00 p.m. today at Ascension Lutheran Church in Jackson, Mississippi with burial in the Mark Seepe Crematorium, Jackson, Mississippi. Mark Seepe Funeral Directors & Crematorium in Jackson, Mississippi is handling the arrangements.
Vera was born in Karlsruhe, Germany, December 14, 1933 to Else and William Menning. She was a retired school teacher with Madison County Schools where she had taught computer programming, gifted student classes, and art. In addition to teaching high school computer, she was also a member of WRAMPS, a wildlife rescue organization, and was home to numerous "found" baby birds which she raised and released. After retiring, she began art classes and was a member of the Mississippi Artists Guild. She painted several canvases for friends and family, but never took money for any. She was a member of the Mystery Lover's Book Club and also attended water aerobic classes three times a week at Fitness Lady. She was a lifelong Lutheran and attended Ascension Lutheran Church, where she also sang in the choir.
Survivors include: daughters, Stephanie (Peter) Haddow of Madison, Patricia Jaeger of Salisbury, N.C., Susan (Mark) Crady of Titusville, Fla. and Barbara (Mike) Kent of Madison; grandchildren, Katherine and Arielle Shore, daughters of Stephanie; and Devon and Krysten Crady.
Published in the Clarion Ledger on 10/12/2007.
http://www.legacy.com/clarionledger/Obituaries.asp?Page=Lifestory&Pers..95985609
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MADISON — A Madison woman has died following a two-car collision on I-55 this week.
Vera M. Jaeger, 74, of Madison was transported to the University of Mississippi Medical Center where she died of multiple trauma from injuries sustained in the wreck Tuesday, Madison County Coroner Alex Breeland said.
The wreck had noon traffic backed up along I-55 north for more than an hour.
Jaeger's Toyota Camry was struck by an 18-wheeler driven by Michael Ongley, 50, of Morton, Ill., after Jaeger reportedly attempted to switch into one lane then jerked back to the other, according to a news release from Madison police.
Ongley was not injured.
Witnesses told police that it appeared Jaeger had passed the 18-wheeler, which was in the center lane. She attempted to enter the far right lane, but another vehicle was there, so she attempted to go back to the center lane, according to the release. Witnesses said it appeared she had overcompensated.
The third vehicle was not hit.
No charges have been filed in the wreck, but police said they would be investigating it.
Vera Menning Jaeger, Madison, MS
Vera Menning "Billie" Jaeger, 73, a retired school teacher with Madison County Schools, died Tuesday, October 9, 2007 at University Medical Center in Jackson, Mississippi. Visitation is today at 1:00 p.m. at Ascension Lutheran Church in Jackson, Mississippi. Funeral services are 2:00 p.m. today at Ascension Lutheran Church in Jackson, Mississippi with burial in the Mark Seepe Crematorium, Jackson, Mississippi. Mark Seepe Funeral Directors & Crematorium in Jackson, Mississippi is handling the arrangements.
Vera was born in Karlsruhe, Germany, December 14, 1933 to Else and William Menning. She was a retired school teacher with Madison County Schools where she had taught computer programming, gifted student classes, and art. In addition to teaching high school computer, she was also a member of WRAMPS, a wildlife rescue organization, and was home to numerous "found" baby birds which she raised and released. After retiring, she began art classes and was a member of the Mississippi Artists Guild. She painted several canvases for friends and family, but never took money for any. She was a member of the Mystery Lover's Book Club and also attended water aerobic classes three times a week at Fitness Lady. She was a lifelong Lutheran and attended Ascension Lutheran Church, where she also sang in the choir.
Survivors include: daughters, Stephanie (Peter) Haddow of Madison, Patricia Jaeger of Salisbury, N.C., Susan (Mark) Crady of Titusville, Fla. and Barbara (Mike) Kent of Madison; grandchildren, Katherine and Arielle Shore, daughters of Stephanie; and Devon and Krysten Crady.
Published in the Clarion Ledger on 10/12/2007.
http://www.legacy.com/clarionledger/Obituaries.asp?Page=Lifestory&Pers..95985609
Thursday, October 11, 2007
archive: 11 october 2007: familiar faces and banjo learning
It keeps dawning on me I look an awful lot like my Dad when I smile really big... Its more noticeable then how my eyes are also like his (though green when his were light blue) and the nose - bridge bump and all - is his also. If I grew a beard and mustache I would look practically just like him. haha
When my dad was a young man I think he was good looking, but at 63 years old he was old, tired, ragged. That is how I remember him most. I also remember those nights of arguing with Mom after he'd gone out drinking till he was belligerent. Those are not favorable memories. But that look, that appearance is how I see myself in the mirror.
----
Side note:
I bookmarked maybe 30 websites tonight dealing with clawhammer and old-time banjo music. I saved a bunch of tab sheets and music files for easy banjo tunes. Going to listen to them when I get home and might try learning a few this weekend....
OR
I might figure out how and what I am going to make for my mom and sister for Christmas. Possibly also think about something for a few friends, too. I keep thinking large scale but I know I need to stay small scale. I can't afford to overdo it. haha!
When my dad was a young man I think he was good looking, but at 63 years old he was old, tired, ragged. That is how I remember him most. I also remember those nights of arguing with Mom after he'd gone out drinking till he was belligerent. Those are not favorable memories. But that look, that appearance is how I see myself in the mirror.
----
Side note:
I bookmarked maybe 30 websites tonight dealing with clawhammer and old-time banjo music. I saved a bunch of tab sheets and music files for easy banjo tunes. Going to listen to them when I get home and might try learning a few this weekend....
OR
I might figure out how and what I am going to make for my mom and sister for Christmas. Possibly also think about something for a few friends, too. I keep thinking large scale but I know I need to stay small scale. I can't afford to overdo it. haha!
Wednesday, October 10, 2007
archive: 10 october 2007: madison
Gluckstadt, Canton, Madison, Ridgeland: Madison County, Mississippi
Berea, Richmond: Madison County, Kentucky
? Mars Hill, Marshall, Hot Springs: Madison County, North Carolina ?
Connections:
I was born in Jacksonville, NC (which is on the East Coast of the state, but still.)
I grew up mostly in Madison County, MS.
My family tree branches down from England and Ireland to Virginia, then Western Kentucky, Bowling Green and Glasgow area.
My first archival job was in Madison County, KY.
Now I have the opportunity to apply for a position in the next few months in Madison County, NC.
Coincidences? Random? Fate? Meant to be? Who knows?
Berea, Richmond: Madison County, Kentucky
? Mars Hill, Marshall, Hot Springs: Madison County, North Carolina ?
Connections:
I was born in Jacksonville, NC (which is on the East Coast of the state, but still.)
I grew up mostly in Madison County, MS.
My family tree branches down from England and Ireland to Virginia, then Western Kentucky, Bowling Green and Glasgow area.
My first archival job was in Madison County, KY.
Now I have the opportunity to apply for a position in the next few months in Madison County, NC.
Coincidences? Random? Fate? Meant to be? Who knows?
Sunday, October 7, 2007
archive: 7 october 2007: amazement
It never ceases to amaze me how people can surprise me with their actions and attitudes.
~*~ on another note ~*~
I have a phone call to make (or maybe email) to find out more about something in NC. I have no idea how I would manage it in the best case scenario, but for now I shouldn't worry myself with that. For all I know something else might crop up.
~*~ on similar note ~*~
I need to spend time sorting out exactly why I feel such a close tie to Berea. Is it really the town or specific individuals? Is it fear of starting all over again somewhere in a place where I know no one: the same thing that happened when I moved from MS to Berea on Sept. 7, 2004. A LOT of time ticked by before I felt a sincere connection, emotional attachment, familiar faces who cared.... I will have to sort it out. And, if certain small hopes are realistically possible to maintain or are they unrealistic? Possible the latter.
~*~ on a musical note ~*~
Love when Regina Spektor sings in French... :)
~*~ on another note ~*~
I have a phone call to make (or maybe email) to find out more about something in NC. I have no idea how I would manage it in the best case scenario, but for now I shouldn't worry myself with that. For all I know something else might crop up.
~*~ on similar note ~*~
I need to spend time sorting out exactly why I feel such a close tie to Berea. Is it really the town or specific individuals? Is it fear of starting all over again somewhere in a place where I know no one: the same thing that happened when I moved from MS to Berea on Sept. 7, 2004. A LOT of time ticked by before I felt a sincere connection, emotional attachment, familiar faces who cared.... I will have to sort it out. And, if certain small hopes are realistically possible to maintain or are they unrealistic? Possible the latter.
~*~ on a musical note ~*~
Love when Regina Spektor sings in French... :)
Friday, October 5, 2007
archives: 5 october 2007: ideas, recycling, art
(I was writing this great blog and then I clicked on something and lost the whole thing... so, now I begin again.)
Today Dianne and Lori were ripping up books. Ok. Let's begin that again. :)
Today Dianne and Lori were going through books which were in Tony's collection and determining which ones can go to ACA libraries and which ones need to be disposed. There were a large number of textbooks which were outdated, massively abused, and not college level. These really could not be reused in a high school or junior high, and there weren't enough to do so. So we slated them for recycling yet we figured the covers could not be recycled. So Lori was taking the covers off and I was stacking them to throw away when it dawned on me what I could DO with the covers.
The bottle collages I plan to do sometime soon were also going to have accompanying handmade books to explain and depict more information that I could not put on the bottles themselves. I was going to get old books and glue the pages together and paint and paste things into them. But now I will instead use the covers from these textbooks that Lori took off, strengthen them, add pages of a slightly smaller size made of cardboard and whatnot. I saw the concept and knew I have to do it.
I think I want to make these bottle collages through ALL recycled materials. I bought several things from Walmart and Michaels and other corporate stores for the chakra collages. Much of the stuff was from flea markets and yard sales, but I think my aim for these collages is to show how art can come from recycled materials too. I guess the only things which won't be recycled is paint and adhesives.
So my apartment is looking kinda funny: a floor full of wine jugs, a few boxes and plastic bags full of empty liquor bottles, a window in the kitchen lined with wine bottles. Now t here will be a stack of history, algebra, and Spanish textbook covers (23 total) for the other half of the project.
I really need to get started on collecting the items for these things. It adds up. I guess if I set aside $10-15 a week for garage sale pilfering I could get a good number of things as long as they are very small and very cheap. haha.
I researched the Pleiades and the Nine Muses. I need to sit over the material and design some concepts: how many bottles will I need for each of the stars in the Pleiades, especially if I do portray how some of them in fact are made up of several stars (astronomically speaking) and each bottle represents that form, and then those would be tied/wired together. I need to do some sketching I am sure.
So here's some links for the book concepts. I saw something like this several years ago, but my project will be a little different from all of these.
http://www.donna-engstrom-abstract-art.com/custom_art_work.html
http://home.earthlink.net/~bsalter01/_Dianes_friends/friends.html
http://home.earthlink.net/~bsalter01/_wsn/page4.html (pictures load slow)
http://www.princetonol.com/groups/iad/lessons/middle/Linda-books.htm
http://www.quietfiredesign.com/classes.html
http://www.makezine.com/blog/archive/2006/06/altered_books.html
http://karenswhimsy.com/altered-books/dreams/altered-book-techniques.htm
http://www.outsidethemargins.com/ab.html
http://www.artbytheyard.biz/altered_books.htm
I guess that's about it. A Google search for "altered books" in images will show you a lot.
Today Dianne and Lori were ripping up books. Ok. Let's begin that again. :)
Today Dianne and Lori were going through books which were in Tony's collection and determining which ones can go to ACA libraries and which ones need to be disposed. There were a large number of textbooks which were outdated, massively abused, and not college level. These really could not be reused in a high school or junior high, and there weren't enough to do so. So we slated them for recycling yet we figured the covers could not be recycled. So Lori was taking the covers off and I was stacking them to throw away when it dawned on me what I could DO with the covers.
The bottle collages I plan to do sometime soon were also going to have accompanying handmade books to explain and depict more information that I could not put on the bottles themselves. I was going to get old books and glue the pages together and paint and paste things into them. But now I will instead use the covers from these textbooks that Lori took off, strengthen them, add pages of a slightly smaller size made of cardboard and whatnot. I saw the concept and knew I have to do it.
I think I want to make these bottle collages through ALL recycled materials. I bought several things from Walmart and Michaels and other corporate stores for the chakra collages. Much of the stuff was from flea markets and yard sales, but I think my aim for these collages is to show how art can come from recycled materials too. I guess the only things which won't be recycled is paint and adhesives.
So my apartment is looking kinda funny: a floor full of wine jugs, a few boxes and plastic bags full of empty liquor bottles, a window in the kitchen lined with wine bottles. Now t here will be a stack of history, algebra, and Spanish textbook covers (23 total) for the other half of the project.
I really need to get started on collecting the items for these things. It adds up. I guess if I set aside $10-15 a week for garage sale pilfering I could get a good number of things as long as they are very small and very cheap. haha.
I researched the Pleiades and the Nine Muses. I need to sit over the material and design some concepts: how many bottles will I need for each of the stars in the Pleiades, especially if I do portray how some of them in fact are made up of several stars (astronomically speaking) and each bottle represents that form, and then those would be tied/wired together. I need to do some sketching I am sure.
So here's some links for the book concepts. I saw something like this several years ago, but my project will be a little different from all of these.
http://www.donna-engstrom-abstract-art.com/custom_art_work.html
http://home.earthlink.net/~bsalter01/_Dianes_friends/friends.html
http://home.earthlink.net/~bsalter01/_wsn/page4.html (pictures load slow)
http://www.princetonol.com/groups/iad/lessons/middle/Linda-books.htm
http://www.quietfiredesign.com/classes.html
http://www.makezine.com/blog/archive/2006/06/altered_books.html
http://karenswhimsy.com/altered-books/dreams/altered-book-techniques.htm
http://www.outsidethemargins.com/ab.html
http://www.artbytheyard.biz/altered_books.htm
I guess that's about it. A Google search for "altered books" in images will show you a lot.
Wednesday, October 3, 2007
archive: 3 october 2007: pinnacle pictures and thinking about thoughts
I spent some time the other day at the East Pinnacle just letting some energy out hiking up there and soaking some energy in while resting for about an hour on the flat rock up top. What a gorgeous view. I was looking out across the other foothills and it really sunk in how they look from above, the curves and colors, the distance, the beauty. I loved them all along, but truly seeing it right then took me away. Almost the entire hike up was void of other people; I met a group briefly coming from the West Pinnacle at that rest point when you can choose either direction. And then the rest of the entire hike up and back down was just me, the green trees, the oncoming Autumn, birds and insects, the sun, the sky, spirit and energy. It was beyond great. A few breaks to catch my heart (beating too hard; so out of shape endurance-wise) and the slowing down of breath...
Anyway, last night I watched a little bit of What the BLEEP – Down the Rabbit Hole and the part about the water sunk in and impressed me. I am going to work towards that... Its an interesting concept and I like it.
Anyway, last night I watched a little bit of What the BLEEP – Down the Rabbit Hole and the part about the water sunk in and impressed me. I am going to work towards that... Its an interesting concept and I like it.
Tuesday, October 2, 2007
archive: 2 october 2007: winter feelings
I was talking about a lot of stuff yesterday with a friend. Stuff that I don't talk about often because it makes me think of things I wish I had right now. Poignant. I was on the edge of tears, it was getting to me so much. It was good to talk to her about stuff I know that might help her, but at the same time it was opening something within me that I've kept shut 'cause if I think about that much it really gets me down. It emphasizes what is missing that I have been wanting.
We're not having a premature winter, honey.
Also... why is it I am almost always attracted to those who are unattainable in one way or another? Either emotionally or physically or spiritually out of my reach because they need to do some things for themselves before becoming involved with someone else, or they're on the other end of the country, or the releasing of baggage and getting to know oneself again, or any other number of things I can guess. But somehow I am nearly always attracted to these people. My emotions are sympathetic.
I was talking about how long its been, but its not the last activity that bothers me, but its the disconnection altogether that bothers me. The kind of emotional distance connected with physical distance. And even the smallest of hints go ignored or misinterpreted; I hardly even miss sex itself. No, I miss the simplicity of innocent intimacy, that which I have not had in a very long time.
I am going hiking this late afternoon up the Pinnacle. Yes.
We're not having a premature winter, honey.
Also... why is it I am almost always attracted to those who are unattainable in one way or another? Either emotionally or physically or spiritually out of my reach because they need to do some things for themselves before becoming involved with someone else, or they're on the other end of the country, or the releasing of baggage and getting to know oneself again, or any other number of things I can guess. But somehow I am nearly always attracted to these people. My emotions are sympathetic.
I was talking about how long its been, but its not the last activity that bothers me, but its the disconnection altogether that bothers me. The kind of emotional distance connected with physical distance. And even the smallest of hints go ignored or misinterpreted; I hardly even miss sex itself. No, I miss the simplicity of innocent intimacy, that which I have not had in a very long time.
I am going hiking this late afternoon up the Pinnacle. Yes.
Monday, October 1, 2007
archive: 1 october 2007: seasonal motivations
My motivation lately has been slim.
I don't feel compelled to really put much of myself into this class I am taking. I want to drop it, but it is really just too late.
I want to be taking lessons and learning to play my banjo. I need to set aside time to work on it and practice. I have an instructional DVD borrowed from a friend which has been helpful, but I know I am going to have to take in-person lessons.
I really want to be working on my bottle collages. I have talked a lot about them, but I haven't started work on them. I have the research done for two of the ideas (Pleiades and the Nine Muses) and I need to collect some items and images to put into the project. I really need to work on the design. And I want to begin research on the third idea, strong women in world religions, but I know that will be time consuming and intensive.
It might be true that I have been spending too much time sitting around just talking and chatting, loitering about socializing, but... there are times when I need that particular kind of connection. Winter is coming soon - I am more reclusive in winter, and unfortunately, feel loneliness moreso than I do in Summer.. But autumn comes first and I will want to be outside, a lot. I will want to see the sunrise and sunset, the amber and topaz leaves, the stormy contrast of sky and pine trees, etc. I love autumn.
I might need to start reeling myself in. Get stuff done. Friendships are growing. Love in general is felt. But as I said, Winter isn't the friendliest season for me. It hurts. Maybe something good will come with the cold, other than my warm coats and sweaters.
I don't feel compelled to really put much of myself into this class I am taking. I want to drop it, but it is really just too late.
I want to be taking lessons and learning to play my banjo. I need to set aside time to work on it and practice. I have an instructional DVD borrowed from a friend which has been helpful, but I know I am going to have to take in-person lessons.
I really want to be working on my bottle collages. I have talked a lot about them, but I haven't started work on them. I have the research done for two of the ideas (Pleiades and the Nine Muses) and I need to collect some items and images to put into the project. I really need to work on the design. And I want to begin research on the third idea, strong women in world religions, but I know that will be time consuming and intensive.
It might be true that I have been spending too much time sitting around just talking and chatting, loitering about socializing, but... there are times when I need that particular kind of connection. Winter is coming soon - I am more reclusive in winter, and unfortunately, feel loneliness moreso than I do in Summer.. But autumn comes first and I will want to be outside, a lot. I will want to see the sunrise and sunset, the amber and topaz leaves, the stormy contrast of sky and pine trees, etc. I love autumn.
I might need to start reeling myself in. Get stuff done. Friendships are growing. Love in general is felt. But as I said, Winter isn't the friendliest season for me. It hurts. Maybe something good will come with the cold, other than my warm coats and sweaters.
Friday, September 28, 2007
archive: 28 september 2007: friday fun
wooohoo!
Today's going to be fun...
Work: Pick out the boxes I want movers to move up from the basement to upstairs.
Coffee: BC&T around 9:45-ish
Lunch: Papaleno's with some co-workers. Run by BC&T and try catching up with Phoebe if I don't see her earlier.
3:30: Leave for Lexington for music! Erin McKeown and Alejandro Escovedo.
9-ish: Mudpi at Madison Garden, Richmond
Today's going to be fun...
Work: Pick out the boxes I want movers to move up from the basement to upstairs.
Coffee: BC&T around 9:45-ish
Lunch: Papaleno's with some co-workers. Run by BC&T and try catching up with Phoebe if I don't see her earlier.
3:30: Leave for Lexington for music! Erin McKeown and Alejandro Escovedo.
9-ish: Mudpi at Madison Garden, Richmond
Thursday, September 27, 2007
archive: 27 september 2007: coffee spilt and laughter
Today has already started off with crazy events. I come into BC&T and happen upon one of the Southern Living folks who decided to write about Adam and the coffee shop. It was a good laugh. I bought a mocha and a poppyseed muffin for breakfast. Then drove on to work and as I was getting out I picked up the to-go cup incorrectly and the whole thing slipped from my hand and spilt in my car and on me. So I ran back home to change clothes (which resulted in me wearing a skirt I made from blue jeans in 2003) and then came back to work.
ahh... What else does this day have planned for me? It has to be good things or little mishaps like this morning which actually made me laugh.
I haven't worn a skirt in over a year now (back when Erynn and I stopped at an Old Regular Baptist Church for a service and music was the last time, in May or June last year).
Please be a good day!
ahh... What else does this day have planned for me? It has to be good things or little mishaps like this morning which actually made me laugh.
I haven't worn a skirt in over a year now (back when Erynn and I stopped at an Old Regular Baptist Church for a service and music was the last time, in May or June last year).
Please be a good day!
Wednesday, September 26, 2007
archive: 26 september 2007: southern connections
I was just talking with a co-worker about tradition in the South... all things that reference my Southern Studies degree and the things I learned in those seminar classes and what I noticed from my experience growing up in Mississippi. The handing down of furniture from one generation to the next; it may not be until Grandma passes away before her daughter or grandchild gets the old dresser, dining table, sideboard table, etc... But it is handed down nonetheless. The furniture has connections, soul, memories. Southerners have tended to be physically connected to certain items, like grandfather clocks and wardrobes.
In my mom's house there's a grandfather clock I want one day and I hope to have it repaired so that it works again. I love the pendulum. That clock is in my childhood memories at home. There's a table that was my grandmother's which was also her mother's... It is now in my mom's house and will likely be in either mine or my sister's house one day. I have my grandmother's sewing machine which was her grandmother's sewing machine. I still use it sometimes. There's a table for it still in my mom's house with rod-iron legs.
Why are Southerners connected to the past physically through furniture? Were Southerners concerned about handing down these items before the Civil War? Was it the war and its economic threat that made many Southerners hold on to these tables, dressers, clocks, wardrobes, sets of china and silverware, etc.? Or was it before the war? I think that is an important piece of the puzzle.
I feel an attachment to these things because of history, family, story, connection, spirit, identity. History because it grounds a family or person into the history book depiction of a devastating war on a country. Family because it connects me with the persons further up the family tree, the ones I may or may not have agreed with but their lives and stories live on. Story is just that: the knick in the wood, the stain, the paint, the broken leg or missing bolt in the furniture tells stories of how family lives affected ("left its mark on") the furniture. Connection because as independent and "me" as I want to be, I am still connected to the stories and lives of those who preceded me in my family. Spirit gives a sense of respect or maybe admiration for the individuals of the past who left their mark on that furniture and therefore, when I touch that old grandfather clock I am also in touch with the spirit of my grandmother's grandmother, etc. And identity.... Identity is all of this. Identity is knowing who you are, where you come from, who you come from and why you're a part of that story and how it affects your story now, your life now.
For instance, my grandmother told a story once of when she was in her early twenties and digging around in her grandmother's attic. She came across a trunk and opened it up to find a white robe and hood. She was surprised to see this and was shocked at this being in the family. This was at the old house in Bowling Green, KY. For a long time my grandmother had that trunk, and I think that is the one which is now on the back porch at my mom's house. The robe and hood is long gone; probably thrown away long before I was born. In contrast to that story and a perfect example of how a family line can have multiple stances on an issue, I have old family photographs (ambrotypes and tintypes) of a gentleman dressed in a Union uniform with his son. He is most likely Colonel John H. Grider of the Union Army, 52nd Kentucky infantry, I found after doing some researching of the family tree. (You can view that here. And that website I created for family is here: Collectively Speaking.
Anyway... I am rambling as usual. I like thinking about family, tradition, hand-me-downs, "artifacts" of that kind.... the how and why those things are kept and what do they mean not only as a physical item but as a sentimental item. I have a lot of things I keep sentimentally, both in paper form and in physical form. I have tiny Russian dolls for when I had a penpal from Kazakhstan. I have rocks and stones which are reminders to me of particular memories. Books and journals, obviously. Jewelry both given to me and handed-down to me. I don't have any of the furniture yet, but one day I may.
I have been wondering how this translates into Appalachian culture... Southerners from Mississippi, Alabama, Louisiana, and Georgia did that kind of furniture hand-me-down sort of thing for reasons that may or may not have existed in the Appalachian region. And if things were handed down, what kind of things? Quilts is one I am sure, but what else and to what extent?
I guess I better get on to other things now. Coordinating for these student sessions for the Summit this year... I wish I didn't have to do this because I would much rather go to the Celebration of Traditional Music and/or the Clear Creek Healing Arts Festival, both the same weekend of the Summit. *grumble grumble*
In my mom's house there's a grandfather clock I want one day and I hope to have it repaired so that it works again. I love the pendulum. That clock is in my childhood memories at home. There's a table that was my grandmother's which was also her mother's... It is now in my mom's house and will likely be in either mine or my sister's house one day. I have my grandmother's sewing machine which was her grandmother's sewing machine. I still use it sometimes. There's a table for it still in my mom's house with rod-iron legs.
Why are Southerners connected to the past physically through furniture? Were Southerners concerned about handing down these items before the Civil War? Was it the war and its economic threat that made many Southerners hold on to these tables, dressers, clocks, wardrobes, sets of china and silverware, etc.? Or was it before the war? I think that is an important piece of the puzzle.
I feel an attachment to these things because of history, family, story, connection, spirit, identity. History because it grounds a family or person into the history book depiction of a devastating war on a country. Family because it connects me with the persons further up the family tree, the ones I may or may not have agreed with but their lives and stories live on. Story is just that: the knick in the wood, the stain, the paint, the broken leg or missing bolt in the furniture tells stories of how family lives affected ("left its mark on") the furniture. Connection because as independent and "me" as I want to be, I am still connected to the stories and lives of those who preceded me in my family. Spirit gives a sense of respect or maybe admiration for the individuals of the past who left their mark on that furniture and therefore, when I touch that old grandfather clock I am also in touch with the spirit of my grandmother's grandmother, etc. And identity.... Identity is all of this. Identity is knowing who you are, where you come from, who you come from and why you're a part of that story and how it affects your story now, your life now.
For instance, my grandmother told a story once of when she was in her early twenties and digging around in her grandmother's attic. She came across a trunk and opened it up to find a white robe and hood. She was surprised to see this and was shocked at this being in the family. This was at the old house in Bowling Green, KY. For a long time my grandmother had that trunk, and I think that is the one which is now on the back porch at my mom's house. The robe and hood is long gone; probably thrown away long before I was born. In contrast to that story and a perfect example of how a family line can have multiple stances on an issue, I have old family photographs (ambrotypes and tintypes) of a gentleman dressed in a Union uniform with his son. He is most likely Colonel John H. Grider of the Union Army, 52nd Kentucky infantry, I found after doing some researching of the family tree. (You can view that here. And that website I created for family is here: Collectively Speaking.
Anyway... I am rambling as usual. I like thinking about family, tradition, hand-me-downs, "artifacts" of that kind.... the how and why those things are kept and what do they mean not only as a physical item but as a sentimental item. I have a lot of things I keep sentimentally, both in paper form and in physical form. I have tiny Russian dolls for when I had a penpal from Kazakhstan. I have rocks and stones which are reminders to me of particular memories. Books and journals, obviously. Jewelry both given to me and handed-down to me. I don't have any of the furniture yet, but one day I may.
I have been wondering how this translates into Appalachian culture... Southerners from Mississippi, Alabama, Louisiana, and Georgia did that kind of furniture hand-me-down sort of thing for reasons that may or may not have existed in the Appalachian region. And if things were handed down, what kind of things? Quilts is one I am sure, but what else and to what extent?
I guess I better get on to other things now. Coordinating for these student sessions for the Summit this year... I wish I didn't have to do this because I would much rather go to the Celebration of Traditional Music and/or the Clear Creek Healing Arts Festival, both the same weekend of the Summit. *grumble grumble*
archive: 26 september 2007: thinking and change
I am a think-master today. I just want to think about things, to sort stuff out mentally and emotionally, to work on these things that have been tugging at me.
But instead I have work work work. Why won't these people register?!?!
*pulls hair out of my head*
Oh, and... the other day I almost bought hair color. There was this deep burgundy color that almost looked purple that appealed to me. And just do-it-yourself highlights looked good too. But it has been 3 or 4 years years since I last dyed my hair and I vowed I wouldn't do it again. Its just been tempting lately though. Something physically different.
Maybe I need to go get my Virgo and Dragon tattoos and that'll suit me for a while.
A song struck me yesterday when I was driving back from Lexington.... I think that's just the way I have been feeling and thinking lately, why I have been "spilling the beans" or "letting the cat out of the bag" to those I needed to share what I was thinking about. More often than not I am attracted to good people and so letting them know that does no harm, just good, even if things don't actually play out any further than good solid friendship. In the end, that's what really counts; those friends who always welcome you for a visit or a chat. Anyway, I think the song was "Let Your Love Flow" by the Bellamy Brothers. Kinda reminds me of some friends' outlook on life and relationships in general.
There's a reason for the sunshinin' sky
And there's a reason why I'm feelin so high
Must be the season when that love light shines all around us
So let that feelin grab you deep inside
And send you reelin where your love can't hide
And then go stealin' through the moonlit nights with your lover
Just let your love flow like a mountain stream
And let your love grow with the smallest of dreams
And let your love show and you'll know what I mean
It's the season
Letyour love fly like a bird on wing
And let your love bind you to all livin things
And let your love shine and you'll know what I mean
That's the reason
There's a reason for the warm sweet nights
And there's a reason for the candlelights
Must be the season when those love lights shine all around us
So let that wonder take into space
And lay you under its loving embrace
Just feel the thunder as it warms your face
You can't hold back
Just let your love flow like a mountain stream
And let your love grow with the smallest of dreams
And let your love show and you'll know what I mean
It's the season
Let your love fly like a bird on wing
And let your love bind you to all livin' things
And let your love shine and you'll know what I mean
That's the reason
But instead I have work work work. Why won't these people register?!?!
*pulls hair out of my head*
Oh, and... the other day I almost bought hair color. There was this deep burgundy color that almost looked purple that appealed to me. And just do-it-yourself highlights looked good too. But it has been 3 or 4 years years since I last dyed my hair and I vowed I wouldn't do it again. Its just been tempting lately though. Something physically different.
Maybe I need to go get my Virgo and Dragon tattoos and that'll suit me for a while.
A song struck me yesterday when I was driving back from Lexington.... I think that's just the way I have been feeling and thinking lately, why I have been "spilling the beans" or "letting the cat out of the bag" to those I needed to share what I was thinking about. More often than not I am attracted to good people and so letting them know that does no harm, just good, even if things don't actually play out any further than good solid friendship. In the end, that's what really counts; those friends who always welcome you for a visit or a chat. Anyway, I think the song was "Let Your Love Flow" by the Bellamy Brothers. Kinda reminds me of some friends' outlook on life and relationships in general.
There's a reason for the sunshinin' sky
And there's a reason why I'm feelin so high
Must be the season when that love light shines all around us
So let that feelin grab you deep inside
And send you reelin where your love can't hide
And then go stealin' through the moonlit nights with your lover
Just let your love flow like a mountain stream
And let your love grow with the smallest of dreams
And let your love show and you'll know what I mean
It's the season
Letyour love fly like a bird on wing
And let your love bind you to all livin things
And let your love shine and you'll know what I mean
That's the reason
There's a reason for the warm sweet nights
And there's a reason for the candlelights
Must be the season when those love lights shine all around us
So let that wonder take into space
And lay you under its loving embrace
Just feel the thunder as it warms your face
You can't hold back
Just let your love flow like a mountain stream
And let your love grow with the smallest of dreams
And let your love show and you'll know what I mean
It's the season
Let your love fly like a bird on wing
And let your love bind you to all livin' things
And let your love shine and you'll know what I mean
That's the reason
Friday, September 21, 2007
archive: 21 september 2007: let the sunshine in
Back in the office today. I didn't go to work yesterday because when I woke in the morning I felt miserable and so I called in sick. I slept until 12:30 and felt a good bit better. I didn't take any more of that cold medicine. Really, sometimes I think I feel worse when I take medicine for colds and allergies and sinus congestion than I do without it! By afternoon I went to Ground Effects to check email, be a little sociable, and then after a while I went back home and read for a while.
Probably in another week or two I will finally finish this novel. It is a very slow read, but it picks up every now and then... The Well of Loneliness. After I finish reading it I will either move on to the Lee Smith Family Linen or Neil Gaiman's American Gods. I have read the Gaiman book before, but I have kinda wanted to reread it. I read it so fast the first time that I don't think it all sunk it. I love his writing. But anyway, I need to read more poetry. I think I will ask Normandi, Vicky, and Michael for some suggestions. Maybe Libby. I can't sit and read poetry like I can novels, two hours pass by with my head stuck between pages. No, a poem is read and then thought about. I cannot go from one poem immediately to the next because it doesn't sink in... It is like just brushing the surface, skipping stones.
After while I texted Phoebe to see how she was doing, and it sounded like she needed to talk so I planned to meet her outside BC&T after I stopped at PeaceCraft for a moment. Caught up with her and chatted about things, Carol and Robert chatted a bit before going to Main Street Cafe, Chuck came by for a while, Brian showed us his spray-painted car, Adam came to hang out after his slug nightmare, Kelly visited for a bit, etc, etc. Another evening of hours spent outside BC&T just hanging out. Phoebe left after a while, I gave Adam a ride to Taco Bell and home, and then I went home to read some more.
I shouldn't have had that double-shot cafe mocha at 8 pm. It did, indeed, keep me up all night long. I had the most restless sleep I have ever had, I believe. But I somehow feel refreshed this morning. Strange, eh?
By the way, sometime over the next few days I will create some kind of life outline. I know it sounds massive and unwieldy but... it is something I want to do. Sometimes I look back and I think, wow... I've done a lot of things, felt a lot, been places, etc, and other times I look back and I can't seem to see all those things... I criticize and minimize those accomplishments and experiences. So. An outline. Because just a few days ago I remembered something I had done, but now I have forgotten what I had remembered! Some of these memories will have to be jogged with those little scraps of memorabilia I keep. I have scrapbooks. Some are explained, some are random. Oh... I had forgotten about going to Dallas with the honor society when I was in community college and hearing someone speak.... I used to think it was Dr. Laura Schlessinger, but what I remember her talking about goes against what Dr. Laura talks about now, so it was probably not the same speaker. But anyway... memory is tricky.
I have a crazy amount of work to do. Later folks.
Probably in another week or two I will finally finish this novel. It is a very slow read, but it picks up every now and then... The Well of Loneliness. After I finish reading it I will either move on to the Lee Smith Family Linen or Neil Gaiman's American Gods. I have read the Gaiman book before, but I have kinda wanted to reread it. I read it so fast the first time that I don't think it all sunk it. I love his writing. But anyway, I need to read more poetry. I think I will ask Normandi, Vicky, and Michael for some suggestions. Maybe Libby. I can't sit and read poetry like I can novels, two hours pass by with my head stuck between pages. No, a poem is read and then thought about. I cannot go from one poem immediately to the next because it doesn't sink in... It is like just brushing the surface, skipping stones.
After while I texted Phoebe to see how she was doing, and it sounded like she needed to talk so I planned to meet her outside BC&T after I stopped at PeaceCraft for a moment. Caught up with her and chatted about things, Carol and Robert chatted a bit before going to Main Street Cafe, Chuck came by for a while, Brian showed us his spray-painted car, Adam came to hang out after his slug nightmare, Kelly visited for a bit, etc, etc. Another evening of hours spent outside BC&T just hanging out. Phoebe left after a while, I gave Adam a ride to Taco Bell and home, and then I went home to read some more.
I shouldn't have had that double-shot cafe mocha at 8 pm. It did, indeed, keep me up all night long. I had the most restless sleep I have ever had, I believe. But I somehow feel refreshed this morning. Strange, eh?
By the way, sometime over the next few days I will create some kind of life outline. I know it sounds massive and unwieldy but... it is something I want to do. Sometimes I look back and I think, wow... I've done a lot of things, felt a lot, been places, etc, and other times I look back and I can't seem to see all those things... I criticize and minimize those accomplishments and experiences. So. An outline. Because just a few days ago I remembered something I had done, but now I have forgotten what I had remembered! Some of these memories will have to be jogged with those little scraps of memorabilia I keep. I have scrapbooks. Some are explained, some are random. Oh... I had forgotten about going to Dallas with the honor society when I was in community college and hearing someone speak.... I used to think it was Dr. Laura Schlessinger, but what I remember her talking about goes against what Dr. Laura talks about now, so it was probably not the same speaker. But anyway... memory is tricky.
I have a crazy amount of work to do. Later folks.
Monday, September 17, 2007
archive: 17 september 2007: annoyance
I am annoyed. Easily annoyed right now. I have this impulse to just want to bitch and complain. I set up an appointment at the Berea Health Services assuming that a visit there by an ACA staff member would be covered by my insurance, etc, because of the close ties of ACA and Berea College. I was wrong.
I am annoyed because several things in the past couple of days have made me feel dumb. Guess I am just feeling extra sensitive to any blows against my intellect. The IQ thing sent me spinning. The drive-thru the other day got under my skin. The swamps in Mississippi thing put me on edge. And then this appointment which doesn't count (which also was wasted time I could have been at work) didn't provide anything because ACA staff can't go there for check-ups, etc. That felt like the last straw.
And apparently my insurance plan will only cover this exam once a year. According to the doctor it is considered a yearly exam, but... what if a woman intuitively feels like it needs to be checked again a few months after her last one? This doesn't sound right nor does it promote being health conscious.
*grumble grumble*
I am annoyed because several things in the past couple of days have made me feel dumb. Guess I am just feeling extra sensitive to any blows against my intellect. The IQ thing sent me spinning. The drive-thru the other day got under my skin. The swamps in Mississippi thing put me on edge. And then this appointment which doesn't count (which also was wasted time I could have been at work) didn't provide anything because ACA staff can't go there for check-ups, etc. That felt like the last straw.
And apparently my insurance plan will only cover this exam once a year. According to the doctor it is considered a yearly exam, but... what if a woman intuitively feels like it needs to be checked again a few months after her last one? This doesn't sound right nor does it promote being health conscious.
*grumble grumble*
archive: 17 september 2007: exhaustion
I just want to go home, crawl into my bed, and sleep the rest of today. I am mentally, emotionally, and physically exhausted. I think I am coming down with a mean cold.
I have reading to do for an assignment for my class and notes to make on it, type, and send to the professor before 10am tomorrow.
I think I would rather sit up and watch Frida again. But I can't.
I also have this impulse to cry. No reason, no cause. Just impulse. Maybe its the exhaustion and the amount of stuff I have to do.
I have reading to do for an assignment for my class and notes to make on it, type, and send to the professor before 10am tomorrow.
I think I would rather sit up and watch Frida again. But I can't.
I also have this impulse to cry. No reason, no cause. Just impulse. Maybe its the exhaustion and the amount of stuff I have to do.
Sunday, September 16, 2007
archive: 16 september 2007: movie quote
"I haven't got time for this Mickey Mouse bullshit!"
- The Professional.
Although it is a quote from a total ass of a character in the film, I thought that line was pretty hilarious. Yeah, sometimes I feel like that. I try not to feel that way often, but... yeah, it happens.
- The Professional.
Although it is a quote from a total ass of a character in the film, I thought that line was pretty hilarious. Yeah, sometimes I feel like that. I try not to feel that way often, but... yeah, it happens.
Saturday, September 15, 2007
archive: 15 september 2007: festivals and parades
begin whining/
Because of these new duties for work, I will miss both the Clear Creek Festival and the Celebration of Traditional Music Festivals that take place on the weekend of October 19-20. This makes me so SAD! Someone suggested I should call in sick. haha! I wish. I have never been to either of these festivals all my time here in Berea.
/end whining.
But apparently I am not missing the Spoonbread festival parade as I sit here in BC&T. hahaha! I didn't realize it passed right here.
Because of these new duties for work, I will miss both the Clear Creek Festival and the Celebration of Traditional Music Festivals that take place on the weekend of October 19-20. This makes me so SAD! Someone suggested I should call in sick. haha! I wish. I have never been to either of these festivals all my time here in Berea.
/end whining.
But apparently I am not missing the Spoonbread festival parade as I sit here in BC&T. hahaha! I didn't realize it passed right here.
Friday, September 14, 2007
archive: 14 september 2007: learning and doing
I am going to play around with that there banjo all day Saturday. I think. I have this feeling something with KFTC is supposed to be happening..... I might should be going to the steering committee meeting this weekend. I gotta check that notebook I left at home today.
I will be leaving work early today with Lieselotte to introduce her to folks at Spec. Coll. & Archives on campus and get her in their hands for some music listening. Then I will break away for a while to visit Calvin and borrow that DVD from him, and then photocopy some articles from the periodicals and books I know Berea's got.
Going to the Mitch Barrett concert tonight surely, but I might get distracted for a bit if Lieselotte decides to get on the road early and I am left to my devices with my banjo to play around with. Some of the men last night at the bluegrass jam was giving me bits of advice: "the more you have it in your hands, the sooner you'll learn to play it." Jim was telling me that I just need to learn three chords and I can play any song on it. haha! I think he's not talking clawhammer. ;) I told him that joke Lieselotte told me: "anyone who can count to two can play the banjo." :) So I might try picking at it some for a while tonight, especially if Calvin remembered to bring that DVD.
Ok, I have CDs to burn for work, and then I am going to try to mail these today. I want the librarians to have these ASAP.
peace
by the way... My horoscope from freewillastrology.com. Funny how I used to play Dungeons & Dragons and I totally understood this. One of my friends I think was chaotic/good more than anything else. I don't remember what I chose most often. Anyway, this is generally an idea I have been feeling lately...
Virgo Horoscope for week of September 13, 2007
Writing in Salon.com, Scott Rosenberg recalled how in his youth he loved to play the fantasy role-playing game Dungeons & Dragons. "You'd have to choose not one but two 'alignments' for your character," he mused. "Good and evil, of course, but also 'law' and 'chaos.' And among the people I ran with, 'chaotic/good' was the thing to be, because it let you trust other people and still have fun." Your assignment in the coming week, Virgo, is to adopt the "chaotic/good" approach for the character you will be playing in your actual life.
I will be leaving work early today with Lieselotte to introduce her to folks at Spec. Coll. & Archives on campus and get her in their hands for some music listening. Then I will break away for a while to visit Calvin and borrow that DVD from him, and then photocopy some articles from the periodicals and books I know Berea's got.
Going to the Mitch Barrett concert tonight surely, but I might get distracted for a bit if Lieselotte decides to get on the road early and I am left to my devices with my banjo to play around with. Some of the men last night at the bluegrass jam was giving me bits of advice: "the more you have it in your hands, the sooner you'll learn to play it." Jim was telling me that I just need to learn three chords and I can play any song on it. haha! I think he's not talking clawhammer. ;) I told him that joke Lieselotte told me: "anyone who can count to two can play the banjo." :) So I might try picking at it some for a while tonight, especially if Calvin remembered to bring that DVD.
Ok, I have CDs to burn for work, and then I am going to try to mail these today. I want the librarians to have these ASAP.
peace
by the way... My horoscope from freewillastrology.com. Funny how I used to play Dungeons & Dragons and I totally understood this. One of my friends I think was chaotic/good more than anything else. I don't remember what I chose most often. Anyway, this is generally an idea I have been feeling lately...
Virgo Horoscope for week of September 13, 2007
Writing in Salon.com, Scott Rosenberg recalled how in his youth he loved to play the fantasy role-playing game Dungeons & Dragons. "You'd have to choose not one but two 'alignments' for your character," he mused. "Good and evil, of course, but also 'law' and 'chaos.' And among the people I ran with, 'chaotic/good' was the thing to be, because it let you trust other people and still have fun." Your assignment in the coming week, Virgo, is to adopt the "chaotic/good" approach for the character you will be playing in your actual life.
archive: 14 september 2007: tension
I've got to loosen up these muscles soon. Over the last week or so I have realized they are tighter and tenser than usual. Not much stress or anything, just I keep realizing I have my shoulders up and not resting. I know I have bad posture. Something's gotta give.
Thursday, September 13, 2007
archive: 13 september 2007: work is on the rise
Well, work is about to really take off. I just sent an email out to around 145 people to register for the Summit, to register for the student sessions, and to register their poster presentations if they want to present one. I had to do it in three groups because there are Ledford Scholars, Citizens Scholars, and Noyce Scholars meeting in different locations at the Summit. But little did I realize that I would cause a confusion... They are required a code to register for the Summit, and this code is the same for the student sessions. I only included the code for the student sessions. I just sent out an email explaining that they should use the same code for both registration forms. Ahh... I do not anticipate the number of questions and emails I will have tomorrow! hehehe! Kat, how did you manage this last year?! :) You have much better managing skills than I do. ((hugs))
Well, I better get going. I gotta meet up with Lieselotte and say we're having dinner at Main Street instead of Papaleno's. Then Phoebe can join us for a bit and then go on over to the Bluegrass jam.
Well, I better get going. I gotta meet up with Lieselotte and say we're having dinner at Main Street instead of Papaleno's. Then Phoebe can join us for a bit and then go on over to the Bluegrass jam.
Wednesday, September 12, 2007
archive: 12 september 2007: events of a tuesday
What a night! So I felt ill and went home to nap after emailing the professor and letting her know I was missing class. Apparently Joel dropped the class since she's not heard from him at all, so from now on I will be the only one from the UK site. Awkward, but I guess I can get used to it. After the nap I woke feeling a little better and started getting things straightened up at home: litter boxes cleaned and freshened, vacuumed, the guest bed made, and I put up artwork on the walls in that room which I had put off putting up. The paper chains that Phoebe once had and didn't think she had enough room for in her dorm room (someone gave them to her), I strung those up across the ceiling in the guest room, outside that room's door, and one strand going down one wall of the stairs. It looks pretty neat and fun. The room will look great when the chakra collages are back in it. I have one chakra banner hanging in front of the window and that looks pretty neat.
Anyway, so after I got all that done, I found I was bored. I didn't want to read. I played around with the banjo, but I don't know how to tune it just yet to any of the keys so I kinda feel hopeless about it until I have something that'll help me train me ear: the tuner my sister ordered. But I have downloaded some graphics which show chords and I can practice figuring out where my fingers go. I have to say I get frustrated with my fourth finger when I am trying to lay it down on a string and the joint flattens out. I am going to have to figure out how/what to do with that. Maybe that happens to everyone?
So I was bored and I went to the back patio of BC&T with my laptop to meet up with Phoebe, chat, her doing homework, I checking email and thinking about stuff. Then I got some Papaleno's (veg sub) and went home. Waited for Lieselotte to arrive. Took a nap on the couch. She finally arrived around 2 a.m. because she got a late start from WV, was tired and took a brief nap herself, and got lost a little bit in Berea before finding Morning View Rd. Got her settled into her room for the night/morning, and I proceeded to crash into a strange dreamland. I have been waking lately knowing I have had strange dreams and yet not knowing what they were about. Unsettling feeling.
So this morning I dropped her off at the building where they all are to have breakfast and register, then I went home and napped one more hour before getting up and going to work myself. I think I will need to stop having as much coffee and start going to sleep earlier so that I can wake earlier. I keep saying this, but... I'm a nightowl! Its inevitable that I am going to stay up late, especially with other nightowls. :)
So I don't know what to plan for her tonight as I never was able to get in touch with Deborah or Al to see if anyone was up for just jamming for a bit. But she'll have that opportunity on Thursday night at the bluegrass jam too. As far as I can tell she didn't bring her own banjo, just her fiddle.
Its so funny how this all worked out. It was very late that night I went to Clifftop, and very dark because the campsite area is not lit up with lamps. I was listening to this one group playing a banjo, bass, fiddle, mandolin, guitar... and I turned to continue down to "Camp Canada" when in the light I recognized two braids and the outline of a face which looked a little like Lieselotte. It might have been the glasses and the braids, the right height, and possibly posture which I recognized and said, "Lieselotte? Is that you?" haha... It was funny then when we both realized who the other was, and she mentioned the Brushy Fork Institute and needing a place to stay, so I offered my guest room. Just crazy luck, eh? I don't see any problem helping someone out, and I know how expensive hotel rooms are - If I can help a friend, I will.
OK. I just realized I hadn't opened my office window yet. It is after Noon, I am sure IS&S is not going to call and tell me my email's password during lunch, so I am off to BC&T for a bit. Staff meeting at 1 p.m. anyway.
Anyway, so after I got all that done, I found I was bored. I didn't want to read. I played around with the banjo, but I don't know how to tune it just yet to any of the keys so I kinda feel hopeless about it until I have something that'll help me train me ear: the tuner my sister ordered. But I have downloaded some graphics which show chords and I can practice figuring out where my fingers go. I have to say I get frustrated with my fourth finger when I am trying to lay it down on a string and the joint flattens out. I am going to have to figure out how/what to do with that. Maybe that happens to everyone?
So I was bored and I went to the back patio of BC&T with my laptop to meet up with Phoebe, chat, her doing homework, I checking email and thinking about stuff. Then I got some Papaleno's (veg sub) and went home. Waited for Lieselotte to arrive. Took a nap on the couch. She finally arrived around 2 a.m. because she got a late start from WV, was tired and took a brief nap herself, and got lost a little bit in Berea before finding Morning View Rd. Got her settled into her room for the night/morning, and I proceeded to crash into a strange dreamland. I have been waking lately knowing I have had strange dreams and yet not knowing what they were about. Unsettling feeling.
So this morning I dropped her off at the building where they all are to have breakfast and register, then I went home and napped one more hour before getting up and going to work myself. I think I will need to stop having as much coffee and start going to sleep earlier so that I can wake earlier. I keep saying this, but... I'm a nightowl! Its inevitable that I am going to stay up late, especially with other nightowls. :)
So I don't know what to plan for her tonight as I never was able to get in touch with Deborah or Al to see if anyone was up for just jamming for a bit. But she'll have that opportunity on Thursday night at the bluegrass jam too. As far as I can tell she didn't bring her own banjo, just her fiddle.
Its so funny how this all worked out. It was very late that night I went to Clifftop, and very dark because the campsite area is not lit up with lamps. I was listening to this one group playing a banjo, bass, fiddle, mandolin, guitar... and I turned to continue down to "Camp Canada" when in the light I recognized two braids and the outline of a face which looked a little like Lieselotte. It might have been the glasses and the braids, the right height, and possibly posture which I recognized and said, "Lieselotte? Is that you?" haha... It was funny then when we both realized who the other was, and she mentioned the Brushy Fork Institute and needing a place to stay, so I offered my guest room. Just crazy luck, eh? I don't see any problem helping someone out, and I know how expensive hotel rooms are - If I can help a friend, I will.
OK. I just realized I hadn't opened my office window yet. It is after Noon, I am sure IS&S is not going to call and tell me my email's password during lunch, so I am off to BC&T for a bit. Staff meeting at 1 p.m. anyway.
Tuesday, September 11, 2007
archive: 11 september 2007: movies and IQ scores
Finally watched Hannibal: Rising last night with Phoebe at Adam's place until the wee hours of the morning. I think that late night cappuccino gave me some weird dreams but I don't remember any of them. The movie was graphic but very sad. The actor who plays the young Hannibal seemed familiar but after looking at imdb.com I am mistaken. I see a lot of foreign films but I haven't seen any of the ones he was in. Anyway....
Got back late, went to sleep, endured strange but forgettable dreams, woke, didn't want to wake up and reset alarm clock, finally get up, do a few things to prepare the guest room, got cleaned up, went to get coffee, and here I am at work burning some CDs for the library directors and archivists I visited back in April - June. The CDs were finally ordered and they have arrived. Yay!
Yesterday my banjo strap arrived! My bumper stickers "I *heart* Mountains" also came in. I already put one on my laptop. I also found a few stickers I had, one for Rasputina, one for Threadless.com, and a couple of those "happy bunny" ones which say "whatever you moron." I haven't decided if I am going to put that one on the laptop or not. Probably, for kicks.
anyway, I have class tonight so I have to drive to Lexington. Leaving around 3pm today. Then Lieselotte will be in town from West Virginia. She's staying at my place for the Brushy Fork Institute this week. Hopefully I can show her around a bit, and hopefully it won't rain on Thursday's bluegrass jam down at the welcome center.
Gah. I feel stupid. We were talking about IQs last night and I couldn't remember what mine was - I know I have a piece of paper with it on it from when I first took the test, but I think when I saw it a few years ago I thought to myself that it was wrong; not accurate. I just feel smarter than what that number suggests. ugh, Oh well. A friend of mine said his was 162. I don't remember what another friend said about her own. I took a test just now online at iqtest.com and it says I scored 114. I don't know how long it took me to take it though, because I didn't see a timer on the screen. I should have set my cell phone alarm clock to 13 minutes. Anyway. BAH HUMBUG!
Got back late, went to sleep, endured strange but forgettable dreams, woke, didn't want to wake up and reset alarm clock, finally get up, do a few things to prepare the guest room, got cleaned up, went to get coffee, and here I am at work burning some CDs for the library directors and archivists I visited back in April - June. The CDs were finally ordered and they have arrived. Yay!
Yesterday my banjo strap arrived! My bumper stickers "I *heart* Mountains" also came in. I already put one on my laptop. I also found a few stickers I had, one for Rasputina, one for Threadless.com, and a couple of those "happy bunny" ones which say "whatever you moron." I haven't decided if I am going to put that one on the laptop or not. Probably, for kicks.
anyway, I have class tonight so I have to drive to Lexington. Leaving around 3pm today. Then Lieselotte will be in town from West Virginia. She's staying at my place for the Brushy Fork Institute this week. Hopefully I can show her around a bit, and hopefully it won't rain on Thursday's bluegrass jam down at the welcome center.
Gah. I feel stupid. We were talking about IQs last night and I couldn't remember what mine was - I know I have a piece of paper with it on it from when I first took the test, but I think when I saw it a few years ago I thought to myself that it was wrong; not accurate. I just feel smarter than what that number suggests. ugh, Oh well. A friend of mine said his was 162. I don't remember what another friend said about her own. I took a test just now online at iqtest.com and it says I scored 114. I don't know how long it took me to take it though, because I didn't see a timer on the screen. I should have set my cell phone alarm clock to 13 minutes. Anyway. BAH HUMBUG!
archive: 11 september 2007: feeling ill
I feel ill. No class for me in Lexington tonight. Naptime instead and then a few minutes cleaning up of the apartment to get things ready for a friend coming down from West Virginia.
My shoulders feel like they're holding boulders. What is up with this?
My shoulders feel like they're holding boulders. What is up with this?
Sunday, September 9, 2007
archive: 9 september 2007: music and friends-family
Last night / early morning was the epitome of what I have been feeling lately. Actually, mixed with Friday night/Saturday morning it is.
Friday night I caught up with Phoebe, drank a little wine, got her a grilled cheese and some coffee, then we went to Cheyan's for a while and watched them play a drinking game (forgot the name of it). Other people came and went, and some beer was drank. I went to go get my wine from home and came back, had a little bit just to relax me in the atmosphere that was going on around me. After while Adam and Shane came by and stayed the rest of the night. Phoebe fell asleep on the couch with us, and Shane slept on the other couch. Adam and I spent time talking about 80s and 90s pop culture, history, literature, and whatnot. I felt good spending this time with friends, 'cause we all were making sure Phoebe was all right, like real friends do.
Saturday night/Sunday morning Phoebe and I met up to listen to Mudpi play at Ground Effects. Apparently there were at least 3 parties going on last night but sometimes there's just not an interest in a party scene but a good and comfortable home in a low-key all-are-loved atmosphere. Family circle. We ended up at Glen's to chat and listen to whoever wanted to strum and sing. Carol, Robert, Glen, Jessa, Nate, Phoebe, and me. We listened to John play with his mom Dale Ann Bradley and others on the Grand Ole Opry show. That was great, us all imagining how excited he might be on that stage for the first time. Then there was more music jamming and singing along. Jessa played on her ukulele a song I think I had heard before but I am not sure. It sounded a little familiar: Greg Brown's "Waitin' On You." It sounded great with her soft voice singing it. I totally fell into the lyrics; I was feeling them. So I have added that to my profile's music player. That would be another song I would like to learn to play. Lyrics below.
My sister bought a strap and a tuner for my birthday and they should be arriving here soon. I have a few things I found online that shows banjo chords, and I know that several of the songs I want to learn are supposed to be tuned to an open G. So... I will figure some of this out even if I think I know nothing about it. ;)
"Waitin' on You" - by Greg Brown
Waiting on you, waiting on you,
is about all I do.
Another night, another day,
I'm waiting on you.
& I don't know why I
keep waiting on you.
Make up your mind, make up your mind,
why don't you?
It'd be kind, it'd be kinder,
you know it's true.
& I don't know why I
keep waiting on you.
Yes or no, yes or no,
what's it gonna be?
I can't live on dreams & fantasy.
& I don't know why I
keep waiting on you.
One of these days I'm gonna go away from this
without a why, without a cry, without a kiss.
Then you'll know what it is with this deal.
& then you'll feel what it is that I feel.
& even if you don't
at least I won't
be waiting on you.
Waiting on you, waiting on you,
is about all I do.
Another night, another day,
I'm waiting on you.
& I don't know why I
keep waiting on you.
No I don't know why I
keep waiting on you.
No I don't know why I
keep waiting on you.
--- I love it.
Friday night I caught up with Phoebe, drank a little wine, got her a grilled cheese and some coffee, then we went to Cheyan's for a while and watched them play a drinking game (forgot the name of it). Other people came and went, and some beer was drank. I went to go get my wine from home and came back, had a little bit just to relax me in the atmosphere that was going on around me. After while Adam and Shane came by and stayed the rest of the night. Phoebe fell asleep on the couch with us, and Shane slept on the other couch. Adam and I spent time talking about 80s and 90s pop culture, history, literature, and whatnot. I felt good spending this time with friends, 'cause we all were making sure Phoebe was all right, like real friends do.
Saturday night/Sunday morning Phoebe and I met up to listen to Mudpi play at Ground Effects. Apparently there were at least 3 parties going on last night but sometimes there's just not an interest in a party scene but a good and comfortable home in a low-key all-are-loved atmosphere. Family circle. We ended up at Glen's to chat and listen to whoever wanted to strum and sing. Carol, Robert, Glen, Jessa, Nate, Phoebe, and me. We listened to John play with his mom Dale Ann Bradley and others on the Grand Ole Opry show. That was great, us all imagining how excited he might be on that stage for the first time. Then there was more music jamming and singing along. Jessa played on her ukulele a song I think I had heard before but I am not sure. It sounded a little familiar: Greg Brown's "Waitin' On You." It sounded great with her soft voice singing it. I totally fell into the lyrics; I was feeling them. So I have added that to my profile's music player. That would be another song I would like to learn to play. Lyrics below.
My sister bought a strap and a tuner for my birthday and they should be arriving here soon. I have a few things I found online that shows banjo chords, and I know that several of the songs I want to learn are supposed to be tuned to an open G. So... I will figure some of this out even if I think I know nothing about it. ;)
"Waitin' on You" - by Greg Brown
Waiting on you, waiting on you,
is about all I do.
Another night, another day,
I'm waiting on you.
& I don't know why I
keep waiting on you.
Make up your mind, make up your mind,
why don't you?
It'd be kind, it'd be kinder,
you know it's true.
& I don't know why I
keep waiting on you.
Yes or no, yes or no,
what's it gonna be?
I can't live on dreams & fantasy.
& I don't know why I
keep waiting on you.
One of these days I'm gonna go away from this
without a why, without a cry, without a kiss.
Then you'll know what it is with this deal.
& then you'll feel what it is that I feel.
& even if you don't
at least I won't
be waiting on you.
Waiting on you, waiting on you,
is about all I do.
Another night, another day,
I'm waiting on you.
& I don't know why I
keep waiting on you.
No I don't know why I
keep waiting on you.
No I don't know why I
keep waiting on you.
--- I love it.
Friday, September 7, 2007
archive: 7 september 2007: missing people
I am feeling a little... unsure, restless, uncertain.... A little antsy and worried. Nothing really to be worried about. I'm just feeling in-between things, confused. Its these moments when I'd really like to be held.
I kinda want to go for a walk but it is too hot for that. Maybe in the early morning hours.
I miss people right now... Particular ones....
Alison - because we'd talk about anything from Mississippi writers to New Yorker articles, some documentary to Mediterranean food. It was great working with her those few short months before I left MS for KY. I haven't heard from her since she moved to TX.
Michael - he just left for Europe and England on the 3rd, but he went to western Kentucky two weeks earlier. I miss our conversations about poets and poetry in general, the tiny tidbits he'd share about his life and past, and how very similar we are. He says he'll write from England. That'll be nice, and he'll still be a reader of my poetry collection once I get it ready for readers to critique.
Jessie - 'cause there's no replacing my morning cappuccinos and she's just great like that. She endured some of my randomness chatter. Seattle better be treating her swell. I haven't heard from her in a while.
Kierca - How we chatted at the coffee shop all the time about this and that. She's moved to NC and I don't hear or see her often.
Alicia - 'cause she's the princess of bright colors and smiles.
Erynn - Although I can email her any time and she'll respond with some chatter right back, I miss the fun we had traveling to music festivals in eastern KY and WV. Driving her around, getting lost, regaining patience in moments of uncertainty... Normally I'd get really worrisome and somewhat panicked, but she pretty much taught me that everything will generally work out. And it was because of her and those travels that I truly was exposed and grew to love old time fiddle and banjo music, plus wanting to learn to play the banjo.
Carole - 'Cause she was a spontaneous unpredictable friend who was around for some ups-and-downs, those times when I needed to just chill, listen to Bob Dylan or Leonard Cohen, watch a movie, go shopping, go driving around town.
I kinda want to go for a walk but it is too hot for that. Maybe in the early morning hours.
I miss people right now... Particular ones....
Alison - because we'd talk about anything from Mississippi writers to New Yorker articles, some documentary to Mediterranean food. It was great working with her those few short months before I left MS for KY. I haven't heard from her since she moved to TX.
Michael - he just left for Europe and England on the 3rd, but he went to western Kentucky two weeks earlier. I miss our conversations about poets and poetry in general, the tiny tidbits he'd share about his life and past, and how very similar we are. He says he'll write from England. That'll be nice, and he'll still be a reader of my poetry collection once I get it ready for readers to critique.
Jessie - 'cause there's no replacing my morning cappuccinos and she's just great like that. She endured some of my randomness chatter. Seattle better be treating her swell. I haven't heard from her in a while.
Kierca - How we chatted at the coffee shop all the time about this and that. She's moved to NC and I don't hear or see her often.
Alicia - 'cause she's the princess of bright colors and smiles.
Erynn - Although I can email her any time and she'll respond with some chatter right back, I miss the fun we had traveling to music festivals in eastern KY and WV. Driving her around, getting lost, regaining patience in moments of uncertainty... Normally I'd get really worrisome and somewhat panicked, but she pretty much taught me that everything will generally work out. And it was because of her and those travels that I truly was exposed and grew to love old time fiddle and banjo music, plus wanting to learn to play the banjo.
Carole - 'Cause she was a spontaneous unpredictable friend who was around for some ups-and-downs, those times when I needed to just chill, listen to Bob Dylan or Leonard Cohen, watch a movie, go shopping, go driving around town.
Thursday, September 6, 2007
archive: 6 september 2007: too late
Oh shit.
I forgot about the two letters of recommendation for the KFW grant application. And it is due tomorrow (postmark tomorrow) so... I am S-O-L.
Oh well. That sucks. Not like I really would have gotten it anyway, but it would have been nice and a big help in the Spring. I shouldn't have gotten myself so busy with other things and should have gotten this application done a lot earlier. And anyway, I am supposed to submit a sample. I would have tried to make a sample of what I want to do, but it would have been rushed and wouldn't have looked as good as I would have liked. Damnit. I did this to myself.
I forgot about the two letters of recommendation for the KFW grant application. And it is due tomorrow (postmark tomorrow) so... I am S-O-L.
Oh well. That sucks. Not like I really would have gotten it anyway, but it would have been nice and a big help in the Spring. I shouldn't have gotten myself so busy with other things and should have gotten this application done a lot earlier. And anyway, I am supposed to submit a sample. I would have tried to make a sample of what I want to do, but it would have been rushed and wouldn't have looked as good as I would have liked. Damnit. I did this to myself.
Wednesday, September 5, 2007
archive: 5 september 2007: cheese
spending time, spending time,
intellectual ramble and jamble,
a book remembered fondly,
a movie recollected happily,
a few laughs and a smile:
these are the things that
make me smile inside.
--------------
cheesy. And not a good poem at all. bleh.
Speaking of cheese... I want loads of it. I want a LOT of cheese. I am hungry for cheese. Cheddar, feta, colby.... cheese! I am feeling cheesy. I agree with Phoebe - we need a Cheez Whiz night. It should be paired either with a very cheesy movie or some cheesy game. Must be a cheesy night. :)
intellectual ramble and jamble,
a book remembered fondly,
a movie recollected happily,
a few laughs and a smile:
these are the things that
make me smile inside.
--------------
cheesy. And not a good poem at all. bleh.
Speaking of cheese... I want loads of it. I want a LOT of cheese. I am hungry for cheese. Cheddar, feta, colby.... cheese! I am feeling cheesy. I agree with Phoebe - we need a Cheez Whiz night. It should be paired either with a very cheesy movie or some cheesy game. Must be a cheesy night. :)
Tuesday, September 4, 2007
archive: 4 september 2007: readings and class work
So I got most of my first assignment for my class done. Yes, I said "most." I procrastinated. I really should have started reading and making notes last Wednesday and Thursday, played around over the weekend and worked more on it yesterday. So much reading! And many of the articles were very dry and dull. I liked the last three I had to read because they dealt with archives and access in particular while the earlier articles dealt with information retrieval, indexing, database studies, research keywords and whatnot, etc. blah! The assignment was to read ten articles plus listen to one .mp3 file. Then to make notes on each article in a particular format the professors prefers. I got nine of the ten articles mostly read but commented on them all after skimming through some of them sporadically, and several of them I skimmed thoroughly. I have not had access to the .mp3 file though. It may be possible to get it from my one classmate tonight. Oh well. The tenth article I didn't complete because (1) I ran out of time and (2) the file was corrupt and I didn't discover this until late last night. So... maybe I better get on task for the next assignment. :)
I am leaving for Lexington right before 4 p.m. so that I can get up there in time. An hour should be enough time, surely, but maybe I should leave at 3:30 p.m.? I am not yet sure. Class start at 5 p.m.
Here's a list of what I read (or was supposed to read):
1. Croft, Bruce, "What do people want from information retrieval?" D-Lib Magazine, Nov., 1995. http://www.dlib.org/dlib/november95/11croft.html
2. Bates, Marcia J., Deborah N. Wilde, and Susan Siegfried, "An analysis of search terminology used by humanities scholars: the Getty Online Searching Project report number 1." Library Quarterly, 63:1 (January 1993) pp. 1-39.
3. Siegfried, Susan, Marcia J. Bates, and Deborah N. Wilde, "A profile of end-user searching behavior by humanities scholars: the Getty Online Search Project report No. 2." JASIS 44(5):273-291, 1993.
4. Bates, Marcia J., "The design of browsing and berrypicking techniques for the online search interface." Online Review, 3:5 (1989), pp. 407-424.
5. Bates, Marcia J. "Indexing and access for digital libraries and the internet: human, database, and domain factors." JASIS, 46:13 (1998), pp. 1185-1205.
6. Duff, Wendy M. and Catherine A. Johnson, "Accidentally found on purpose: information-seeking behavior of historians in archives." Library Quarterly, 72:4 (April, 2002), pp. 472-496.
7. Czeck, Rita L. H., "Archival MARC records and finding aids in the context of end-user subject access to archival collections." American Archivist, 61 (Fall, 1998), 426-440.
8. Prom, Christopher J., "User interactions with electronic finding aids in a controlled setting." American Archivist, 67 (Fall/Winter, 2004) pp. 234-268.
9. Johnson, Catherine A. and Wendy M. Duff, "Chatting Up the Archivist: Social Capital and the Archival Researcher" American Archivist, 68 (Spring/Summer, 2005) 113-129.
10. Hedstrom, Margaret, et al " 'The older version flickers more': digital preservation from the user's perspective." American Archivist, 69 (Spring/Summer, 2006) 159-187.
11. Merrilee Proffitt – SAA 2006 Session 604: "Finding Aids: the Next Generation"
I am leaving for Lexington right before 4 p.m. so that I can get up there in time. An hour should be enough time, surely, but maybe I should leave at 3:30 p.m.? I am not yet sure. Class start at 5 p.m.
Here's a list of what I read (or was supposed to read):
1. Croft, Bruce, "What do people want from information retrieval?" D-Lib Magazine, Nov., 1995. http://www.dlib.org/dlib/november95/11croft.html
2. Bates, Marcia J., Deborah N. Wilde, and Susan Siegfried, "An analysis of search terminology used by humanities scholars: the Getty Online Searching Project report number 1." Library Quarterly, 63:1 (January 1993) pp. 1-39.
3. Siegfried, Susan, Marcia J. Bates, and Deborah N. Wilde, "A profile of end-user searching behavior by humanities scholars: the Getty Online Search Project report No. 2." JASIS 44(5):273-291, 1993.
4. Bates, Marcia J., "The design of browsing and berrypicking techniques for the online search interface." Online Review, 3:5 (1989), pp. 407-424.
5. Bates, Marcia J. "Indexing and access for digital libraries and the internet: human, database, and domain factors." JASIS, 46:13 (1998), pp. 1185-1205.
6. Duff, Wendy M. and Catherine A. Johnson, "Accidentally found on purpose: information-seeking behavior of historians in archives." Library Quarterly, 72:4 (April, 2002), pp. 472-496.
7. Czeck, Rita L. H., "Archival MARC records and finding aids in the context of end-user subject access to archival collections." American Archivist, 61 (Fall, 1998), 426-440.
8. Prom, Christopher J., "User interactions with electronic finding aids in a controlled setting." American Archivist, 67 (Fall/Winter, 2004) pp. 234-268.
9. Johnson, Catherine A. and Wendy M. Duff, "Chatting Up the Archivist: Social Capital and the Archival Researcher" American Archivist, 68 (Spring/Summer, 2005) 113-129.
10. Hedstrom, Margaret, et al " 'The older version flickers more': digital preservation from the user's perspective." American Archivist, 69 (Spring/Summer, 2006) 159-187.
11. Merrilee Proffitt – SAA 2006 Session 604: "Finding Aids: the Next Generation"
archive: 4 september 2007: don't let me get me
I want to say Thank You to everyone who wished me a happy birthday and to those who I spent time with on Sunday celebrating just by hanging out and having a good time: Phoebe, Adam, Shane, Cheyan, Emmy, Tiffany, Mike, Indy Laura, Tristan, and whoever else was around for a smile on Sunday.
I am sorry I let me get me (yes, that's a Pink reference & I don't even own a CD of hers) and that I got a bit sad later on in the night. I guess I needed to let out some of what was built up inside. Some of you got to know a little more about me and what's been going on inside my head the last month or so without asking for it. ahh... Its not all sad, just confusing and complicated. I wish everything was simpler.
Oh.. and by the way, I HATE BILLS!
I am sorry I let me get me (yes, that's a Pink reference & I don't even own a CD of hers) and that I got a bit sad later on in the night. I guess I needed to let out some of what was built up inside. Some of you got to know a little more about me and what's been going on inside my head the last month or so without asking for it. ahh... Its not all sad, just confusing and complicated. I wish everything was simpler.
Oh.. and by the way, I HATE BILLS!
Friday, August 31, 2007
archive: 31 august 2007: thursday recap
Maybe because the moon is waning and my moods/emotions have been kinda sorta roller-coastering, I suddenly felt very sad just now. There's other things to factor in. I probably just need some spinach...or I haven't had shrimp in ages! I just looked up what's got B12 and B6, so that's probably all I need. I know I haven't been eating very healthy. Cheese, tomatoes, bread, some onions, wine, yogurt, coffee, water.... that could pretty much sum it up the last week or so. Not good!
And last night was fun. I should write about it in a prose form soon but this is what happened: I went home after checking email and writing/contemplating some ideas and thoughts. Upon getting home I decided that I was going to dismantle the table there and put it upstairs in the second bedroom. I still have to move the boxes that I had downstairs upstairs, too. I finally called Vicki back and talked to her for about an hour. Next June I may finally get to see her again, meet her husband and her stepson (aka adopted son because his mother's another issue). I've known Vicki since I was in 6th grade. So I finally texted Phoebe to see what she was up to, how she was doing, and she was feeling down about having to move. So I went over to visit, chat, and help pack, but when I got there we ended up sitting in the park across the way because there was someone she spied from her window who seemed interesting to talk to and meet. Turns out he'd been to some parts of Maine she had been to, and he was sending some *stuff* to a friend in a candle. hahaa! Then Cheyan, Emmy, and Adam came round and sat outside talking with us. Adam and I kept recalling all the icons of our childhood, My Little Pony, She-Ra, Transformers, etc, and then the major events like the Rodney King Riots, Desert Storm, Challenger, and where we were when those things happened. I am always amazed at how much detail others remember about those events. For example, he remembers certain broadcasts by Dan Rather was able to explain all that, but I remember only being in my Algebra class in the trailer, Les Kelly sitting in front of me, and there's a TV showing the map of the Middle East with lines and markers. What I remember most about the Rodney King Riots? One tiny clip of the fighting on TV, but moreso Quentin Morgan writing in my yearbook a four-line poem about the riots that I didn't understand at the time. Challenger? For years my memory mistakenly (and it still does) places me watching that on a TV in Mrs. Bailey's classroom when I was in 4th grade (Mrs. Drury's class). I guess it is entirely possible Mrs. Drury had us go into Mrs. Bailey's class. Now I think about it, I wasn't sitting in a desk but on the floor! So maybe I remember it right just got the timing confused because Mrs. Bailey was there. Anyway, we saw it on the TV. And we talked about 9/11. I haven't decided if I will go to the costume/birthday party tonight. I'll see those same people, but I am not sure about it. Then we all went up to Phoebe's for a bit. Mike B. finally came over and the traveler guy (I think) was going to stay with him. Hope so, 'cause Phoebe needed some sleep! It was 3 a.m. when I left.
And last night was fun. I should write about it in a prose form soon but this is what happened: I went home after checking email and writing/contemplating some ideas and thoughts. Upon getting home I decided that I was going to dismantle the table there and put it upstairs in the second bedroom. I still have to move the boxes that I had downstairs upstairs, too. I finally called Vicki back and talked to her for about an hour. Next June I may finally get to see her again, meet her husband and her stepson (aka adopted son because his mother's another issue). I've known Vicki since I was in 6th grade. So I finally texted Phoebe to see what she was up to, how she was doing, and she was feeling down about having to move. So I went over to visit, chat, and help pack, but when I got there we ended up sitting in the park across the way because there was someone she spied from her window who seemed interesting to talk to and meet. Turns out he'd been to some parts of Maine she had been to, and he was sending some *stuff* to a friend in a candle. hahaa! Then Cheyan, Emmy, and Adam came round and sat outside talking with us. Adam and I kept recalling all the icons of our childhood, My Little Pony, She-Ra, Transformers, etc, and then the major events like the Rodney King Riots, Desert Storm, Challenger, and where we were when those things happened. I am always amazed at how much detail others remember about those events. For example, he remembers certain broadcasts by Dan Rather was able to explain all that, but I remember only being in my Algebra class in the trailer, Les Kelly sitting in front of me, and there's a TV showing the map of the Middle East with lines and markers. What I remember most about the Rodney King Riots? One tiny clip of the fighting on TV, but moreso Quentin Morgan writing in my yearbook a four-line poem about the riots that I didn't understand at the time. Challenger? For years my memory mistakenly (and it still does) places me watching that on a TV in Mrs. Bailey's classroom when I was in 4th grade (Mrs. Drury's class). I guess it is entirely possible Mrs. Drury had us go into Mrs. Bailey's class. Now I think about it, I wasn't sitting in a desk but on the floor! So maybe I remember it right just got the timing confused because Mrs. Bailey was there. Anyway, we saw it on the TV. And we talked about 9/11. I haven't decided if I will go to the costume/birthday party tonight. I'll see those same people, but I am not sure about it. Then we all went up to Phoebe's for a bit. Mike B. finally came over and the traveler guy (I think) was going to stay with him. Hope so, 'cause Phoebe needed some sleep! It was 3 a.m. when I left.
Thursday, August 30, 2007
archive: 30 august 2007: love
I don't know. Maybe I am just reaching out. Maybe I'm just feeling very sympathetic and placing more importance on that than I should. Maybe I just want to comfort like I want to feel comforted. I know that's not how things start.
I just wish I had someone in my life right now that plays that role: that sole confidant, that lover. Someone I admire just for being themself. I have several friends, ones I see often and feel close to, comfortable being myself around them. I guess I only feel conflicted or complicated when I realize that every single person I meet and admire in some small or large way ignites a crush, tiny or major, no matter who they may be. I had a brief conversation like this with one friend one night; she brought it up as we talked about it on some outside steps at the Bar. I wonder if I am a little more fluid than I give myself credit for being. I am not sure.
I love a lot of people. I know I don't always express that well, but I do.
I am missing people I haven't seen or heard from for a while.
I just wish I had someone in my life right now that plays that role: that sole confidant, that lover. Someone I admire just for being themself. I have several friends, ones I see often and feel close to, comfortable being myself around them. I guess I only feel conflicted or complicated when I realize that every single person I meet and admire in some small or large way ignites a crush, tiny or major, no matter who they may be. I had a brief conversation like this with one friend one night; she brought it up as we talked about it on some outside steps at the Bar. I wonder if I am a little more fluid than I give myself credit for being. I am not sure.
I love a lot of people. I know I don't always express that well, but I do.
I am missing people I haven't seen or heard from for a while.
Tuesday, August 28, 2007
archive: 28 august 2007: goodness
I have to be quick but here's the run-down on a great Monday:
1. Received check from my uncle. This was payment for creating and maintaining a reunion website for their high school for a year. I volunteered my time, didn't expect payment, and was surprised to get some moolah. A treat. I promptly cashed it and the one Mom sent me last week (she's sending me money for the banjo because it is her birthday present to me).
2. After work I go to the two music stores I was hoping/waiting to see about getting the banjo from. The first one had already sold the J.B. Player. I went to GoMusic and bought the Gold Tone Cripple Creek and also got a hard shell case. Happiness. I see that case and I think to myself, "I have a banjo!" It surprises me every time.
3. I went to the KFTC meeting last night and took a lot of notes. Decided that I would like to be the alternate steering committee representative for the Madison chapter of KFTC and got seconded into the position. Talked to Toby for a bit about KFW and KFTC and feel positive about all that. I am going to apply for the KFW grant. Now I have to write a proposal and also create one of the bottles right away to include photos and video with the proposal to show what I plan to do. (I'll post a copy of my proposal here when I have it written up so you all can know what I plan to do, try to do.)
4. Left KFTC meeting, hung out with Phoebe and Adam, went to Monty's to get more wine (Bohemian Highway Merlot), come back to Berea and watch a bit of a horror flick at Cheyan's with them, then we all hang outside for a bit waiting for time to pass for the LUNAR ECLIPSE. Adam got sleepy and decided to go on home before it. I got ansty about the idea of getting across the gap to the roof of the other building and decided it was my cue to go home. I saw the lunar eclipse from home and took a few pictures from there, too. I didn't need to get on a roof to see it any better.
5. Felt too ill and lacking sleep to go to work today so I slept in. I tried to call in sick, but the phone system is down. Oh well. I'll explain tomorrow.
6. I am about to head to Lexington to my class at UK. I need to see if I need to purchase any books for the course so that's why I am going to Lex early this afternoon.
7. Sunday is my birthday! I think I will go to Union Church that morning, hike the Pinnacle right afterwards, and not entirely sure what is planned after that. Phoebe and Adam mentioned getting together to hang out, have cake. We'll see.
8. Friday night Mitch Barrett's playing at Ground Effects. Live music is also on my list of things to do. Which reminds me, Thursday night is supposed to be the Female Music Review at The Dame. Might go to that. It's only $7 but it is the trip up and back. Not sure yet.
Ok. Gotta go!!
And today's horoscope once again appears to apply:
You've got to try something a little different today. Your people are just going to bumble along helplessly with or without you, so see if you can focus solely on your own business instead of theirs.
1. Received check from my uncle. This was payment for creating and maintaining a reunion website for their high school for a year. I volunteered my time, didn't expect payment, and was surprised to get some moolah. A treat. I promptly cashed it and the one Mom sent me last week (she's sending me money for the banjo because it is her birthday present to me).
2. After work I go to the two music stores I was hoping/waiting to see about getting the banjo from. The first one had already sold the J.B. Player. I went to GoMusic and bought the Gold Tone Cripple Creek and also got a hard shell case. Happiness. I see that case and I think to myself, "I have a banjo!" It surprises me every time.
3. I went to the KFTC meeting last night and took a lot of notes. Decided that I would like to be the alternate steering committee representative for the Madison chapter of KFTC and got seconded into the position. Talked to Toby for a bit about KFW and KFTC and feel positive about all that. I am going to apply for the KFW grant. Now I have to write a proposal and also create one of the bottles right away to include photos and video with the proposal to show what I plan to do. (I'll post a copy of my proposal here when I have it written up so you all can know what I plan to do, try to do.)
4. Left KFTC meeting, hung out with Phoebe and Adam, went to Monty's to get more wine (Bohemian Highway Merlot), come back to Berea and watch a bit of a horror flick at Cheyan's with them, then we all hang outside for a bit waiting for time to pass for the LUNAR ECLIPSE. Adam got sleepy and decided to go on home before it. I got ansty about the idea of getting across the gap to the roof of the other building and decided it was my cue to go home. I saw the lunar eclipse from home and took a few pictures from there, too. I didn't need to get on a roof to see it any better.
5. Felt too ill and lacking sleep to go to work today so I slept in. I tried to call in sick, but the phone system is down. Oh well. I'll explain tomorrow.
6. I am about to head to Lexington to my class at UK. I need to see if I need to purchase any books for the course so that's why I am going to Lex early this afternoon.
7. Sunday is my birthday! I think I will go to Union Church that morning, hike the Pinnacle right afterwards, and not entirely sure what is planned after that. Phoebe and Adam mentioned getting together to hang out, have cake. We'll see.
8. Friday night Mitch Barrett's playing at Ground Effects. Live music is also on my list of things to do. Which reminds me, Thursday night is supposed to be the Female Music Review at The Dame. Might go to that. It's only $7 but it is the trip up and back. Not sure yet.
Ok. Gotta go!!
And today's horoscope once again appears to apply:
You've got to try something a little different today. Your people are just going to bumble along helplessly with or without you, so see if you can focus solely on your own business instead of theirs.
Friday, August 24, 2007
archive: 24 august 2007: report link
I am posting in this entry the report I finished on Monday. I am not including the title page for two reasons: (1) I use OpenOffice.Org as a word processor rather than Microsoft Word. OO.Org is open source and free, and not proprietary like MSWord. I managed to set the page numbering but I could not figure out a way to make it not number the title page, so I set that up separately. (2) You folks don't necessarily need to know the funding foundation or grant number. I am only going to leave this up for a short while. I mainly want my mom to catch a glimpse from this link for a little while.
http://www.poetess77.com/ACAArchivesInventory2007Final.pdf
I have it in .pdf format with pictures from the archives and special collections I visited. This was a great experience and I am interested and curious if I feel knowledgeable enough to assist in the selection of scholars who will assess the worth of the collections. I think I will work on that next week, listing what colleges had what topics of interest specifically. Narrow it down. I know the interests will be in history, literature, music, and photography, generally, but I will need to narrow it down further.
I am ready for the weekend. I want to throw myself into editing these 24 poems I have written so far, and then start work on the last 6 for the series. I want to submit this manuscript as soon as possible, so the sooner I get this to my readers, the better.
http://www.poetess77.com/ACAArchivesInventory2007Final.pdf
I have it in .pdf format with pictures from the archives and special collections I visited. This was a great experience and I am interested and curious if I feel knowledgeable enough to assist in the selection of scholars who will assess the worth of the collections. I think I will work on that next week, listing what colleges had what topics of interest specifically. Narrow it down. I know the interests will be in history, literature, music, and photography, generally, but I will need to narrow it down further.
I am ready for the weekend. I want to throw myself into editing these 24 poems I have written so far, and then start work on the last 6 for the series. I want to submit this manuscript as soon as possible, so the sooner I get this to my readers, the better.
Thursday, August 23, 2007
archive: 23 august 2007: flip-flops and lay-z-boys
I am trying to research flip-flops.
I have written a poem which describes an older woman chatting with a seven-year-old youngster in the stairwell, and the girl's got on flip-flops. That's what I want her to have on. But were they popular in KY in 1954? Were they called flip-flops or the derogatory phrase "jap-flaps"? I could just call them sandals, but it doesn't give the specific image I want it to give. Flip-flops have a fun summery image to them (even though I cannot stand to wear them myself; that thong blisters my toes) and regular sandals won't call up that youthful image. And I will not use the derogatory "nickname." Even if the poem was being narrated by the old lady, I don't think she would have used that term; she's good-natured and and I get the impression she would have been non-judgmental, meaning shouldn't wouldn't use some phrase like that. Yeah. A lot goes into poetry when you're writing about other people, even fictional ones, and little tidbits of facts.
So... flip-flops. I keep thinking of movies that depict children of the late 50s and early 60s wearing those flip-flops sometimes, but... I can't rely on that as my factual source. Sometimes those are wrong.
agh. And Lay-Z-Boy recliners. I gotta do fact-checking on it too.
I have written a poem which describes an older woman chatting with a seven-year-old youngster in the stairwell, and the girl's got on flip-flops. That's what I want her to have on. But were they popular in KY in 1954? Were they called flip-flops or the derogatory phrase "jap-flaps"? I could just call them sandals, but it doesn't give the specific image I want it to give. Flip-flops have a fun summery image to them (even though I cannot stand to wear them myself; that thong blisters my toes) and regular sandals won't call up that youthful image. And I will not use the derogatory "nickname." Even if the poem was being narrated by the old lady, I don't think she would have used that term; she's good-natured and and I get the impression she would have been non-judgmental, meaning shouldn't wouldn't use some phrase like that. Yeah. A lot goes into poetry when you're writing about other people, even fictional ones, and little tidbits of facts.
So... flip-flops. I keep thinking of movies that depict children of the late 50s and early 60s wearing those flip-flops sometimes, but... I can't rely on that as my factual source. Sometimes those are wrong.
agh. And Lay-Z-Boy recliners. I gotta do fact-checking on it too.
Wednesday, August 22, 2007
archive: 22 august 2007: fear and horoscope
I have this awkward feeling about work. I am wary of Spring and whether or not I will be here. Spring as in January... They just better not "spring" this on me. Maybe if they do I would be able to figure something out to keep me in town through May. I want to stay till June 1st. I want to see some of the students I have gotten to know graduate. And... moving is a whole lot easier in warmer weather (though sweaty!) than in cold icy weather.
I think it is inevitable. This makes me sad.
My FreeWillAstrology.com horoscope was interesting:
Virgo Horoscope for week of August 23, 2007
Are you ready to leave the past behind, drop all your assumptions, welcome the return of your innocence, adopt a beginner's mind, and start fresh everywhere? I hope so, because that's what the universe will be nudging you to do. Here are some words of wisdom to incite you and arouse you. (1) "You don't know what you can get away with until you try." - Colin Powell. (2) "Never underestimate your power to change yourself." - H. Jackson Brown, Jr. (3) "If opportunity doesn't knock, build a door." - my friend Lucy Spinner. (4) "God calls you to the place where your deep gladness and the world's deep hunger meet." - Frederick Buechner.
I think it is inevitable. This makes me sad.
My FreeWillAstrology.com horoscope was interesting:
Virgo Horoscope for week of August 23, 2007
Are you ready to leave the past behind, drop all your assumptions, welcome the return of your innocence, adopt a beginner's mind, and start fresh everywhere? I hope so, because that's what the universe will be nudging you to do. Here are some words of wisdom to incite you and arouse you. (1) "You don't know what you can get away with until you try." - Colin Powell. (2) "Never underestimate your power to change yourself." - H. Jackson Brown, Jr. (3) "If opportunity doesn't knock, build a door." - my friend Lucy Spinner. (4) "God calls you to the place where your deep gladness and the world's deep hunger meet." - Frederick Buechner.
archive: 22 august 2007: wildcat
I am admitted into UK! I am taking a course post-baccalaureate for professional development reasons. Course meets on Tuesday evenings, on-campus, and the rest of the time it will be online. It will be interesting since the instructor is in Louisiana and will be teaching the in-class sessions through video. The online sections will include her actively involved. Interesting. The course is called Advanced Archival Access. Woohoo!
I am now a wildcat. haha!
This was my daily horoscope:
You may feel like giving up, thanks to weird signals or missed deadlines -- but try your best to hang in there! Things should pick up in the very near future, and you'll be glad you kept the faith.
damn, I love it when it is right.
I am now a wildcat. haha!
This was my daily horoscope:
You may feel like giving up, thanks to weird signals or missed deadlines -- but try your best to hang in there! Things should pick up in the very near future, and you'll be glad you kept the faith.
damn, I love it when it is right.
Tuesday, August 21, 2007
archive: 21 august 2007: on turning 31
My birthday is on September 2nd, which is a Sunday.
Maybe I will start going to Union Church on Sundays starting with my birthday.
Not sure what else to plan... hmm...
31.
Thirty-one.
Three-One.
Thirty plus One.
31.
Kinda feels positive. I wasn't upset or aggravated with turning 30; no expectations except my own wish to have published by then. But the year following 31 seems positive, uplifting maybe, possibilities? Ah, who knows. I just have a lot of ideas and wishes, a crush maybe, and a lot of uncertainty about the length of my stay and work. All of that doesn't go well together.
(and since the music search isn't entirely helpful, I am actually listening to "Meet Me in the Music" by Erynn Marshall and Chris Coole)
Maybe I will start going to Union Church on Sundays starting with my birthday.
Not sure what else to plan... hmm...
31.
Thirty-one.
Three-One.
Thirty plus One.
31.
Kinda feels positive. I wasn't upset or aggravated with turning 30; no expectations except my own wish to have published by then. But the year following 31 seems positive, uplifting maybe, possibilities? Ah, who knows. I just have a lot of ideas and wishes, a crush maybe, and a lot of uncertainty about the length of my stay and work. All of that doesn't go well together.
(and since the music search isn't entirely helpful, I am actually listening to "Meet Me in the Music" by Erynn Marshall and Chris Coole)
Monday, August 20, 2007
archive: 20 august 2007: report is done
So I had a funky dream last night. Dreamed about a friend for the second time, and that was kinda weird. And not timely. Ah well. I will write that dream down later. I keep recalling parts of it throughout the day.
I finished the report officially yesterday (Sunday) but today Alice looked it over one more time and suggested the addition of page numbers. So in adding that everything shifted and I had to shift it back into place. hehe. J had the budget report, Alice wrote a cover letter, and the office manager is creating the copies (one to send the foundation which supported the grant and one for myself for keeps). Now I am going to wrap everything up by fixing up the detailed inventories with the summaries and pictures, put those into .pdf format, and burn them to CDs to send to the libraries. Since I took pictures of the archives I am including that for each school so that they may be able to use those pictures initially for insurance purposes or just to have on file for reference, etc. Free service from this photographer/archivist!
After that is done, which probably will be Wednesday at the latest unless I need to order CDs with cases, I will return to sorting through all the ACA Institutional Archives. I am pretty much looking forward to that because it is a thinking AND hands-on king of work. Writing a report and summarizing things was a brain drain.
I am ready to get back to my artsy projects. Going to look into the KFW grants. Maybe? I don't think that my bottle projects could necessarily count as art for social change? If I could really work in the community seminar/course thing I think it would work, but its the time-intensive research part that is the hardest part. Inclusiveness.
((((EDIT: Ok, I think I figured it out. Apply for the current one available (Artist Enrichment Grant) to get the creation of the art done. The grants are awarded no later than December 30th, which would enable me to work on it during the January-May months (or less) in 2008 in addition to the 8-5 job. I was thinking about following that up with an application for the Art Meets Activism grant which could then support the seminars or workshops, but those awards would be around June 30th, and considering everything going on about work, I don't think that will happen. ehh... I don't know. All this uncertainty makes me ill. bah! And it keeps me from pursuing... other ideas. gah! ))))
I finished the report officially yesterday (Sunday) but today Alice looked it over one more time and suggested the addition of page numbers. So in adding that everything shifted and I had to shift it back into place. hehe. J had the budget report, Alice wrote a cover letter, and the office manager is creating the copies (one to send the foundation which supported the grant and one for myself for keeps). Now I am going to wrap everything up by fixing up the detailed inventories with the summaries and pictures, put those into .pdf format, and burn them to CDs to send to the libraries. Since I took pictures of the archives I am including that for each school so that they may be able to use those pictures initially for insurance purposes or just to have on file for reference, etc. Free service from this photographer/archivist!
After that is done, which probably will be Wednesday at the latest unless I need to order CDs with cases, I will return to sorting through all the ACA Institutional Archives. I am pretty much looking forward to that because it is a thinking AND hands-on king of work. Writing a report and summarizing things was a brain drain.
I am ready to get back to my artsy projects. Going to look into the KFW grants. Maybe? I don't think that my bottle projects could necessarily count as art for social change? If I could really work in the community seminar/course thing I think it would work, but its the time-intensive research part that is the hardest part. Inclusiveness.
((((EDIT: Ok, I think I figured it out. Apply for the current one available (Artist Enrichment Grant) to get the creation of the art done. The grants are awarded no later than December 30th, which would enable me to work on it during the January-May months (or less) in 2008 in addition to the 8-5 job. I was thinking about following that up with an application for the Art Meets Activism grant which could then support the seminars or workshops, but those awards would be around June 30th, and considering everything going on about work, I don't think that will happen. ehh... I don't know. All this uncertainty makes me ill. bah! And it keeps me from pursuing... other ideas. gah! ))))
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