archive: 31 august 2005: spontaneous lunch recipe

I totally made something up for lunch today. I looked at some recipes, but none were fast enough for my short lunch hour, plus I didn't have some of the things the recipes called for.

So I got a non-stick skillet out, poured a little extra virgin olive oil in it, placed sliced eggplant rounds I had just cut, and turned it on high. I flipped the eggplant every so often so that it cooked through on both sides. While this was cooking I opened a can of diced tomatoes and a can of sliced mushrooms and dumped them into a saucepan and turned that on high. I added a couple of dashes of basil, oregano, and "Italian seasoning" and let that cook for a few minutes on high with a lid until it was boiling. I spooned some of the boiling tomato juice on top of the cooking eggplant, and let it sizzle, on both sides, for just a little bit. Then I took them all off the heat, turned off the stove, placed four of the eggplant rounds on a plate, spooned some of the tomato and mushroom mix on top, and topped it with parmesan cheese.

It was pretty good for a spur-of-the-moment made-up dish for lunch.

Probably would be better with fresh diced tomatoes and fresh sliced mushrooms rather than what I had out of a can. Plus, the eggplant probably would have been even better if it were breaded, but I don't have that.

I also, for spontaneous effect and it tasted pretty neat, I also topped the plate of eggplant, tomato, and mushroom with about two tablespoons of creamy ceaser dressing.

Pretty interesting lunch, I must say. Probably very healthy.

archive: 31 august 2005: so much on the mind

I really feel like whining about some things right now. Well, nothing specific. Just... blah. Sometimes it just really hits me.
Oh... ha... oh damn! Its been FIVE months. hahahaha.... ok. No. I am not laughing.

yeah.... I need to shut off my mind now. Going to stare at the TV for a little bit, then I will pick out some pics to print as 5x7s (4 of them) and two pics as 10x13, and then create a collage picture to be a 10x13 too. Photography show in Georgetown, yay!
So.... July, I had 5 pics up at Barnes and Noble Cafe for that month.
August 22nd, I put up 11 pics in Mia's on the green wall. I don't know how long they will be there, but those are some of my best ones. I wish/hope someone would buy one. It'd be pretty cool to know a picture of mine is hanging in someone's house.
And now, Sept. 4th I am putting 30-35 pictures up at Lock and Key Coffee House in Georgetown. Don't know yet how long they'll be up, but my guess is about a month maybe.
I will also get to have pics up in the gallery area of the Hutchins Library on the Berea College campus, but that will be in a month or so...

archive: 30 august 2005: weird dream

I had the weirdest dream last night, but of course I cannot remember all the details. I was in a bar, but I don't know which one, and I was with friends, but I don't know all of who was there. I ran into Jessica (to make a long story very short, my first girl crush) there and we talked, or well... moreso she talked... and it was like she was some sort of messenger, wise person in my dream, telling me all kinds of things I should know about myself, emotionally and psychologically. But I cannot remember what she was telling me, and I wish I could. But maybe... maybe its not important for me to consciously know what was being said, because its a dream, and what is important is that my subconscious knows it and understands it. I woke this morning from the dream feeling pretty good about myself. So maybe that's the good it brought about.

My daily horoscope for today? heh, somehow seems appropriate:
Plato had nothing on you. Your brain is working so hard and so fast, you could give that philosopher a run for his money. But you've got a lot going on right now, and you'll have more success if you focus on you.

Onward to work I go.
oh, plus, I do remember the music playing in my dream, and it was Chris Pureka's "Burning Bridges." I read some of the lyrics yesterday for that song, and I understand why I relate to that song.
Ok, really gotta run now, 15 minutes to get ready for work. heh. Damn snooze.

archive: 27 august 2005: louisville trips

I never heard back from Rocky, but then again, I didn't really message him about meeting him and Mark in Louisville until yesterday... to find out if it'd be cool. I think I am going to go to Louisville anyway, for a while. I won't stay the night. I want to go somewhere and I want to see someplace new, take pictures, etc. So that is my plan.

Goodnight.

OH... and I finally ate at Main Street Cafe by myself, but the girl I think is cute there was waiting tables in the back, and not my table. Oh well. And anyway, I am too shy, too subtle in my hints, I can't make passes at someone without it being either (1) so subtle that they never notice it/mistake it for friendly gesture or (2) so blunt and blurted out that its kinda on-the-spot rejection I tend to get. grrr. Oh well... c'est la vie, for me, at least. I can't make passes at this girl... (1) I hardly know her, and (2) I dunno... just, I felt there ought to be another reason. heh. There probably are some. Who knows, maybe she is dating someone now. There's never any telling.

While I was there, by myself, two of my co-workers came in and one of them noticed me, said hi, sorta, and then they walked on to sit with someone they were meeting. It was kinda weird. Where the waitress had put me, it was like a "look at this person sitting alone" prominant spot. gah. If I go there to eat alone again, I will ask to sit in the back, if I get up nerve. heh.

I am awful at trying to make any first moves, or letting anyone know I like them, or flirting, or... just any of that. of course I feel comfortable when I know if any of my advances will be welcomed. So... what I tried to do today was absolutely pointless.

I am going to bed now. Or I will read for a little bit and then sleep. I slept from 6:30 pm to 11:15 pm (I just laid down and went to sleep/long nap) so I technically don't need much more sleep before tomorrow, but... I dunno. I think from all this thinking today, I have brought myself a little depressed. That should change if weather and picture-taking opportunities tomorrow in Louisville work out. Maybe some good food.

I am itching to get my hair cut again, but I think I do want to grow it back out. I am not sure. Its SO EASY to fix when its this short (or actually, shorter than this). But all one length bob would be cute again... maybe. Or maybe something layered.

'night

archive: 27 august 2005: Louisville no go

I didn't go to Louisville 'cause I thought it was going to rain all day; every time I looked at the sky it was grey and covered with dark clouds. I didn't feel like driving to L-ville or back in rain, so... I didn't go. I went to Richmond, got some coffee at LiveWire, and read for a little bit. This girl came in, reallycute, but I dunno. She did look over at me a few times. I could tell she is gay. Once I caught her looking at me and I just smiled back and tilted my head back down to reading... I dunno what else I should have done. heh. I'm not bold.

I went to the Peddler's Mall and perused the stuff there, then went to Big Lots, then to the mall for a little while. I got a few things here and there. I went back to LiveWire and had an iced mocha and some quiche, then went to Blockbuster. I couldn't resist the 3 for $25 deal, so I got both discs of "Angels in America" (which I have seen before on a TINY Tv screen and loved) and "Garden State" (which I haven't seen, but so many people say its great, so...) and I rented "Iron Jawed Angels" which I am about to watch now.

I also bought a bottle of merlot, and a little four pack of those tiny bottles of a shiraz... I have not tried shiraz, so I will try one with the movie. If I don't like it, I will give the other three away to someone who does like shiraz. But I know I love merlot. Just bought the bottle so that if there's a special occassion, or reason, or whatever... I can open it and have it with someone or by myself (not the whole thing, but... heh...)

anyway... I shall go watch "Iron Jawed Angels" now...

archive: 27 august 2005: write write

"Write! Write!" the crickets keep chirping, and I sit in my chair on my porch, and think, "What? Write what?" I have read about lives lived years ago, traveling to and fro from South to North, to Europe and to the West; of relationships and friendships, and of war, poverty, surviving, and fighting. I have read about writers overcoming blocks, filtering creativity into other avenues, and then growing frustrated as I do now, facing the same situations, or not. I cannot compare myself with great writers. What have I done? What great ideas do I possess? Only idealistic ones, as my father told me once, "You're an idealist," as I sat wearing a tie-dyed blouse and jeans, hemp shoes and a denim purse. That was high school and here I am, ten years later, still an idealist. And my ideas... what are they? What to write about, what to say? I have drank two classes of shiraz, smoked a few drags on a cigarette -- mostly to watch it burn, but a little to feel the dry ache in my throat as it burns with the smoke, and wave the red tip around -- a roman candle -- watch it make figure-eights in the air -- and wonder, what have I got to write? And I force myself to stop self-editing as I write, since a writer once said "never stop to self-edit as you write." But the Virgo in me, the ever perfectionist, -- or is that me rationalizing my actions? -- keeps wanting to edit, to self-criticize, to hone the correct words to the right moment, make them fit just-so, like a puzzle. I want to tell friends how much I love them, would do anything for them if they asked, because I am only a person -- only human -- with flaws and imperfections. I run when I shouldn't run away, avoidant, even when what I crave most is to say, "hello, how are you? I missed you so." In the moments when I lay to sleep, my mind races with what I want to tell one friend in Jackson, or someone I love, memories, ideas, thoughts, plans... entire paragraphs come into being, but they cannot be lassoed to a page, type-set or script, email or postcard; they run so fast for fear of face. I stubbed out my cigarette after one last drag, watched the little red dots scatter, little lightning bugs on concrete suffocating tiny lives. I think, "Maybe I will take a long walk, night stroll through the small town, see the dark window faces, think about the carlights passing by, the constellations above hidden by clouds, the sunrise in the morning, and the sunset I caught on film today, wonder about what I would write if I had stayed home to sit at the keyboard, staring at an empty screen, angry. Instead, I stayed home, typed, forcing, coercing myself to move forward, word by word by word by word until the breath could no longer speak, sighing the last word now. ------ (I thought of the below lines but they don't fit the poem above... they should be in their own poem, but... whatever.) I watched the lives of women who fought through picket lines, hunger strikes, marches, petitions and posters, and fiercely silent protests. ----------- Say whatever you want. I don't know (or think) that this could be any good.

archive: 18 august 2005: salsa and pesto

I just made two kinds of salsa, and one pesto. I had bought a spice packet from Peacecraft and I followed instructions (add packet to two large diced tomatoes, or to 28 oz can of diced tomatoes, blend, then refrigerate for a little while) on the packet for one salsa. The other salsa... I had these baby orange tomatoes. They are sweet and kinda strong tasting. I diced them a little, then added some fresh oregano (I have oregano plants), and a tiny bit of fresh chives, then blended that. I tasted it, and its ok. I don't know what to add to it to make it better though. I would think dipping toasted pita bread in it might be good. Hrm... I made fresh basil pesto too. I have a basil plant and I picked two cups of leaves from it (nearly left the plant naked) and I had just bought the rest of the stuff (grated Parmesan, virgin olive oil, toasted pine nuts, garlic cloves). I just blended it up and stuck it in the fridge just now. We'll see how it is when its firmed up a little. I think I am going to get that packet salsa and eat a bit of that with tortilla chips and watch a movie or something.

archive: 12 august 2005: what an evening

Well, first full day back in MS was eventful. I met up with Kristin, Jack, Ben, and Kyle for sushi at Little Tokyo 2, and we had a laugh. Kyle was a tad bit crazy and was going off about there being a white guy behind the sushi counter. Referred to him as a honky. It was really kinda funny, because its true: when you go out to a sushi resturant you are assuming (and probably expecting) that the sushi chefs are all Asian at least. But anyway, I had four sushi rolls and some miso soup. I was much happy, pleased, and full.

Then I called Alison to see about plans for tonight. She said she'd call me at 6 and we'd see how that goes. So I went off to the movie place to catch up with the gang, and find out what zombie flicks will be rented for the Lake House trip. I drove around for a little while, stopped in Books-A-Million, and looked around in there. Saw they only had TWO books dealing with gay and lesbian issues, and these were in the "self help/personal growth" area, mixed in with the "10 ways to win yourself a woman." etc etc. WHAT-EVER. *grumbles*

Then Alison called me about 6, and we decided that it would be a coffee night, aggreed to meet her at her place at 8-ish. She had biked to work and had been caught in the rain and got drenched, so she needed to get cleaned up. So I drove around Madison a little while, then drove home for a little bit, then met up with her at her place. We went to Cups and I got an iced mocha and she got some tea. Talked for a long time about a lot of things, but though it seemed like hours and hours, it actually was about 10:15 when we left. We talked for a little while outside, and I almost passed up the chance to see if she'd mind I took a picture of the two of us, but I went ahead with it. I dunno, maybe she knows I was being a little shy about it, but I am shy about asking someone (anyone) to let me take a picture of them. Anyway, I have two... I caught her off-guard the first time, and the second one is posed. I'll post them next week because I might need to edit them a little. I am not sure about the color, brightness, contrast, etc... cause my mom's computer monitor colors seem really OFF. Its hard to tell, and I know my monitor is calibrated right.

Anyway, it was really nice catching up with Alison, and I do miss her. She's one of those friends I can always pick up where we left off with. We're not as close as Vicki and I are, but I think if we were any closer I would be at my wit's end trying to keep from making a move on her. heh. Yeah, one of those small crushes that I will never act upon. She knows that I had had a crush on her last summer, and I think she understands that I value our friendship and hope that it lasts a long time. Once she meets her special someone, I will be happy for her.

I better into bed. Its 12:14 a.m. and I need to get up around 6:30 to make sure I have everything I need for this trip to Lake Charles, leave the house in good order for Mom to find tomorrow afternoon, and get to Clinton by 8:30-ish to ride in whoever's car I am riding in.

:) Good times ahead this weekend.

archive: 10 august 2005: honey I'm home!

Well, here I am in Mississippi. I got in around 7:30, Central time. I feel all grimey 'cause I drove with both windows down (AC eats up the gas, and gas being $2.45 a gallon, I can deal with the heat). Its like I rode a motorcycle all the way down here wearing only a bikini. Speaking of swimsuits, I stopped in Nashville at a Target and bought two more shirts and I managed to find a swimsuit I MIGHT like, and MIGHT actually wear in front of people. I guess we'll see.

But I had a wonderful surprise when I checked my email today. Bryna G, who works for Right On Records, which is the independent record company Melissa Ferrick runs, emailed me. I had emailed the "webmistress" of the www.melissaferrick.com site to let her know of some broken links, and gave her the correct links and info she needed. I first was just doing that because the link for the location Melissa's performing at in Louisville, KY, had the Cleveland Heights, OH, stuff instead. So I just sent her the correct stuff and mentioned that it was no real problem 'cause I understand the upkeep of websites can be massive. I had also sent her info on which article links were dead or broken. I also sent her the info for my fansite.

She emailed me this:

hello there laura
wow, so, thank you so much for going through the site with a fine tooth comb like that.
it was so helpful.

i've gone through and updated everything you mentioned..

it's difficult to get to all of this as independent as we are over here, it's mostly just me who handles the bulk of melissa's world.
if you're interested (and have time), it would be awesome if you could help me out like this.
if you'd like to spend any off time you have going through the site and checking things that are broken or wrong, and also in the meantime, if you find articles online that you think should be added to our site as well.

ultimately, i'm looking for someone who can maintain the day to day on our site. if you're interested, i think this is good way to try this out with you and i. you go through and check up on it and email me with updates etc.. and then we'll see how it's working, and them maybe i could offer to give you more of full control over updates/email list/tour dates/etc.

my contact info is below
you can call me if you'd rather talk through this

it's also so okay if you don't have the time
thanks for considering

best,
bryna

OMG! of course! I would love to, and will try my best. I guess no one else ever thought about sending in corrections like that, or just being that helpful. I love the site design, and the clarity of info provided, and well, Melissa's music is just awesome, so who wouldn't want to help out? Anyway, that's just awesome.

I better go eat, feed momma's dogs, and shower. I am just gonna chill here at the house tonight. Tomorrow is sushi time at Little Tokyo 2. I LOVE sushi. Can't wait. :)

archive: 9 august 2005: BAN fun

So... You people might wonder why I am so excited to be going to Mississippi, and then to Lake Charles, Louisiana. You wonder, what's cool about these people she's going to go see? What's the big deal? HUH?

So, for a limited time, from tonight (Tuesday Aug. 9) till Monday night (Aug.15) I will have the BAN folders open to all public, no password necessary... Flip through the pics, see the crazy fun, the silly fun... I, of course, am nearly always behind the camera, but occasionally make an appearance.

Oh... and BAN = Bad Anime Night. It started off with the viewing of terribly corny or cheesy anime and alcohol and mixed company, but sometimes that includes awful movies like Jack's Xanadu, sometimes Howard the Duck, among others. Sometimes its just cult classics, themes like vampire movies or pirate movies, and often Japanese films like Jisatsu saakuru (Suicide Club).
Those crazy people. I love them so.

YAY! Little Tokyo 2 on Thursday for lunch... I have been craving sushi for ages now; bst restaurant in town. :)

archive: 6 august 2005: photographic reminders

Feeling kinda moody right now. I had to move some photos around on my hard drive and I ended up looking in a few photo folders for January... There's this one of Becky giving me this look... Its half-surprise, half-why-the-hell-are-you-taking-my-picture? look. It also says a lot more than that, and its really hard how to describe it, but her eyes are very clear and... its the kind of picture she talked to me about, except, I am not sure this is one she'd worry much about. She didn't let me take many pictures of her because "I don't want your future girlfriends to see how much I loved you." I understood what she meant, but... I like to have pictures of people, especially those people I care about. Anyway... So... I was looking at one picture where I caught her off-guard, and its almost a look of "don't you dare test me." Knowing that the relationship ended as it did, and seeing that look, and knowing she never wants to see me (nor any of her past exes) again... its really hard to put any closure on that.

I cannot do what she did; I cannot remove everything she ever gave me and throw it away or give it away. She left everything I ever gave her in a bag on my doorstep... Except, I know there's a few things missing. There's a CD of only Melissa Ferrick songs still in her apartment somewhere. There's also artsy pictures of her and me... These pics are just the same picture, a pose, where I edited it in various ways in paintshop pro... and I printed them. I do not have those, but she has them somewhere.

Why is it that I am always thinking about what has happened in the past? I don't live in it, I know that, but its that there are reminders almost all the time. Do other people acknowledge these little reminders at all, or just ignore them? Like, every time I see the street sign for Locust Hill, I know that is where Becky works, or when I see Great Clips stores. heh. There's other things. But oh well. If other people don't think like that sometimes, then its just something I already know how to deal with... Its there, but I don't put much thought into it. The past is the past, but that doesn't mean I didn't take the time to learn from it... I did.

I am feeling restless though. The trip to Dayton was allright. Had its ups and downs. But I loved the Melissa Ferrick concert, and Katie Todd (opening act) was great too. I added her myspace to my friendslist.

I guess I have other things to do now... later

archive: 4 august 2005: rambling and QAF

Well, I have now finished watching the first season of "Queer as Folk." I am ready to watch the second season now, but I think that may have to come from Netflix 'cause I am not sure if I know anyone else who's got the other seasons. Its an awesome series. I thank Jo very very much for letting me borrow the first season after only knowing me a couple of hours. hehe...
-----
I leave tomorrow with my friend Lisa (the one here in Berea, hehe) to Dayton for a Melissa Ferrick concert. I am excited and glad to go somewhere out of town for a night, and of course to hear Melissa perform. Absolutely awesome woman. And I think Lisa said this would be her first time hearing her live. It'll be my third time; my first and second was both in June. heh....
-----
Went running to the ice cream shop with Amanda today. I was craving sorbet since someone mentioned it early afternoon, and once I got there I ordered something which looked like sorbet, but it wasn't. blah. I should have tasted it first to see if it was something I was craving. It was not. Anyway, so I was talking to Amanda about some stuff. This guy had driven by and she pretended to lick her ice cream in a sexual way, but he didn't see. It was hilarious though. I don't remember what I was saying before that, but... I said something along the lines of I wish I could go out and just meet someone like I had that time with Becky. It was such an unusual night for me 'cause that sort of thing never happens to me. She said I just needed to get a one-night stand. I said, yeah, there's this guy on myspace who messaged me (don't worry, this entry is friends-only, he can't read it) and said (1) that he thinks I am sexy, (2) that he'd like to have sex with me, and (3) that we could learn from each other. EWWWWWW!!! I mean, come on!!! What sort of come on is that? He's 33 and his hometown is listed as Berea, but it doesn't list where he is currently. I don't care, but it does give me the heebeegeebees that he lives in the same town as I do and he knows what I look like. He could be beyond freaky and stalkerish. Sex offender freak. I dunno, don't want to know, not interested. Heh.

But anyway, I tell Amanda all about that, and then also say, I don't want to be with him, I don't particularly want to be with a man for a relationship nor a one-night-stand, and besides all that, do I look like someone who could even try to pull off a one-night-stand? Ok.... those of you who know about the 3 I have had, don't speak. (1) I did not come on to them, (2) one I knew online for weeks, one I was friends with, and the other one I had known in person and it just turned out to be really bad sex I'd rather not repeat. So... yeah, not exactly your usual, "pick them up at the bar & bring them home, wham, bam, thank-you-mam" sort of things. I can't pull that sort of thing off, and really, that is not my way of doing things anyway. I said to Amanda, People can tell from a mile away that I am not one-night-stand material. I am not a pick-up girl. I am not that bold in pursuing someone in a bar like that. And people can read my face like a book.

Anyway, that's a lot of rambling. I guess I was thinking about that all night subconsciously because of Brian on Queer as Folk. He's such a slut, but he can get away with it. Of those characters, I am more like Michael.... with just a touch of Emmett (his worrisome motherly ways).

I think I better get onward to bed. Its going to be a busy day tomorrow!!

archive: 3 august 2005: cleaning out the closets

omg, this is sooo perfect.
Virgo Horoscope for week of August 4, 2005 (August 23-September 22) The average person throws out 19 pounds of garbage per week. Between now and August 24, however, you have license to exceed that figure by a large margin. In fact, Virgo, the cosmos would love you to carry out a Great Purge. So take full advantage of this opportunity to lighten your load. Get rid of every last scrap of dross and clutter, give away anything that has outlived its usefulness, and unburden yourself of outmoded necessities that have been sitting untouched in a closet or storage unit for more than a year. As much as you possibly can, free yourself of the unnecessary residues of your past. http://www.freewillastrology.com/horoscopes/virgo.html
I have been thinking about this already. Once Nora has moved her stuff downstairs into storage, I will start going through my entire house and deciding on "this is a garage sale item" and "this is for Goodwill" and "this is something I need to keep." I have a lot of JUNK to rid myself of. So the massive cleaning will begin in mid-August. I want to get furniture which is more modular and practical. I can see myself having a wooden futon in the living room rather than a couch. I'd love that. Except for the price. I want things that I can take apart and put back together when moving, things I can carry alone, and things which are useful. I am going to sell my couch, my bedroom suite (except for the twin bed mattress and boxsprings), this cabinet which is supposed to be for a computer, but its not useful, and a few other things I am sure. I will get chairs to replace the couch, a better twin-sized bed frame for the guest room, and bedroom furniture which suits me better. But the selling won't happen till I am about to move away from here, and the new furniture won't appear until I have moved into a new place. Why buy new furniture when you know you are going to have to move it? Why not buy it once you are in your new place? ;) But this is my plan. And between now and then, I am going to start selling and giving away a lot of my CRAP. From books to knick-knacks, to plateware sets... shoes and clothes. By my birthday in September my house is going to get extraordinarily organized and simplified. And the walls will begin to have more and more of my photography on them. Its going to be more spacious and easier to clean. I am looking forward to this, because I do not like clutter, and I can really leave a pile of clutter behind if I am lazy.

archive: 1 august 2005: subconscious thoughts

I am sitting here at work typing up a box list for a box I gotta put back in the shelf for the meantime. Boxlists will be helpful when to further break down the Organizations series into its smaller groups of organizations.
But my mind travels while I work and I was thinking about sexuality more...
I completely forget the order of things sometimes... transitions and whatnot. Before I left Mississippi last summer, I was already deciding that I did not want to get married, in the traditional man and woman sense. I don't see it, really. It could happen, but I doubt it, and I made clear to my mom that I didn't doubt it in that "Oh, I don't think I will ever meet the right person, oh woe is me, I'm depressed way." I also told all this to my friend Alison and that was her first worry for me. But no, its more of a "I think I will be traveling a large part of my life, living in one place probably 2-3 or 3-4 years at a time, and I don't think that would be good for a family." And wouldn't it be more fun to move around, traveling, seeing more of the country, and possibly, the world? I think, in a small way, I was giving my mom a hint... I had that crush on Alison, and it was hard knowing that (1) she's striaght, and (2) that I only started crushing on her about two weeks before I moved here. And I had some serious dreams about her. ;) Anyway, I told mom about not marrying idea, and she seemed pretty cool with it. Really, for the most part, she went on to say that, although she loves me and my sister and does not regret having us at all, that having a family often inhibits a woman from pursuing her career or dreams and goals. My mom is picking up painting after 20 years. I am so proud of her. I really wish this was something that she had been able to continue with while married to my dad, but Dad's kinda... well, he wasn't the most accomodating person, but rather demanding and unyielding.

I am sooo rambling. So... the last time I had sex with a man was just horrible (just bad sex, not rape or anything like that), and that was (counts) a year and four months ago... And since then I have not had any desire to be with a man sexually again, and being with a woman for 3 months confirmed that "curiousity" I had mildly supressed for so long 'cause I lived in MS. And after really thinking about it for myself, if someone must know the label for my sexuality, I could call myself a lesbian or a bisexual... either fits me, for the most part. I mean, I have had sex with guys, and now I am only interested in pursuing relationships with women... so that could call me bisexual. But I think that because I really don't see myself ever pursuing a relationship with a man, I would rather consider myself a lesbian.

But then again, I am sure at some point in my life I may meet someone who totally surprises me. Possibility is always there, and assuming anything else is just being narrow-minded.

Anyway... afternoon coffee break time is almost over. I better go get something and then get back in here. After work I gotta run to Barnes and Noble to get my pictures, then I plan to hit Old Navy and hope the jeans I like are there and fit me comfortably, and maybe a shoe store. I need some better running shoes. I feel the urge to try to start running a little more often... at least be more active or something.

archive: 1 august 2005: new shoes and photo plans

I just bought a new pair of khakis, jeans, running shoes, and three shirts. yay! And that's enough shopping to last me a while. I gotta artsy-fartsy patch-up my other jeans, but now I have a pair that has no holes and no prospective holes, except for in the right places. ;) I also have a pair of khakis which fit nicely. I almost got two pairs of those, but I didn't know how much the shoes were going to cost me, and so I am glad I waited on that. I got decent shoes, and I was right: the ones I have are old and I have grown a size larger than those shoes. Besides, those old ones are pink and white! I don't know what possessed me to get them in that color; maybe those were the only ones left. But anyway, these grey and blue ones look good and feel great. I am going to try running in a little bit too... I am going to try to make myself do this every night, for a little while... I am not an early morning person and can't do the morning running thing, but I can do 20-30 minutes (on and off) in the evenings.

Tomorrow I want to go to Mia's and show MaryBeth some of my pictures and see if she thinks they are suitable for display in the bar or restaurant area and then (hopefully) get to put them up. I feel like I ought to get a different set of frames for them, in silver or black, but that's just too pricey for me right now. I am just going to have to settle for this dark wood right now and hope she thinks its good enough. I figure that since I am in town I might just stay at Mia's for open mic and see what that's like. Hopefully it wouldn't be a dead night and there'd be some entertainment.

I am about to look at the Common Grounds website http://www.commongroundsoflexington.com/index2.html
to see what the requirements are for having some photos on display there. I know they require frames but I gotta find out the rest. I should have done that when I first looked it over. Oh well.

This morning I found a big spider in my bedroom. Made me paranoid, and I missed hitting it with my shoe. I should have gotten the bug spray and sprayed at it. It made me late to work, but they're tolerable of that to an extent. Before I left Giza was playing with the spider and it worried me all day that it was going to bite her or that if she ate it that it would make her sick and I'd find her dead in my apartment. But when I came home she was fine. I can only hope that spider is not in my bedcovers. I cannot stand spiders if I haven't killed them and they're in my personal space. heh

I guess I better get going... Gotta try out these new shoes!