archive: 31 july 2007: women in world religions

I've been thinking some more on this topic. It was my first idea to use as collages on wine bottles, but then I decided that I wanted something with easier limitations: the Pleiades and the Nine Muses. I have researched those two groups of mythical women and how they are represented in various cultures. Most of the sisters in the Pleiades have a Greek or Roman equivalent, so that will draw out each one's individuality expressed in the design on the collage, but then many cultures see them as sisters or women doing all the same thing (ie, early Mexican culture said they stars were women giving birth). I thought that since the stars vary in brightness I might use the liquor bottles I have left: I don't know what I will do with the liquor; some of it I am not interested in drinking a lot of (tequila) and some of it I have never tried (the Grand Mariner). Not sure....

I know I want to use wine bottle for the Nine Muses, varying colors and widths.

So... the "Strong Women in World Religions..." I have started a little research on that tonight, starting with Christianity since I know a little of that. I feel like I will need to collect a massive amount of information before working on these. So much information that it might validate a seminar or course for a period of time to offer to others? This is the idea I suddenly started having: discussions around the female individuals of world religions. The movers and shakers who are often overlooked in traditional texts. I copied and pasted into a text document (with source citation and links, of course!) an article I found that focuses on Mary Magdalene and others in the Bible and how early "church meetings" during Roman times had to be held in homes, where women were going to play a big role in the goings on of the service, etc.

I started to look into Islam briefly but I am going to have to look into HISTORY and not the Qur'an because it seems to refer only to the rules of lifestyle, etc.

Anyway, so... I kinda have this idea of a course that reads and discusses women in world religions. Hrm... I don't know, too vague and some Ph.D in women's studies might would already have some ideas if not a course already being taught somewhere. But I was thinking of something sort of similar to Kyrai's Workshops or whatnot. I gotta think some more. But I don't know how much I would be able to do... *think think*

I gotta go. BC&T closing soon and my battery is getting low. Going to go home and watch "Pick of Destiny." hehe!

archive: 30 july 2007: gonna be a banjo'r

When someone says you're great, believe them. If you set out to correct why you think they're wrong, you're not being modest -- you're telling them you don't trust their judgment! So accept this compliment gracefully.

Ha! I do this all the time. Hmm...

By the way, for those interested in keeping tabs about me and my hopes in learning to play an instrument: While talking with Mom on the phone Saturday she asked me if I had made any progress in finding out info for banjo lessons or bought one yet. I said I haven't bought one yet but know of some places to buy at and have lessons. She said that since my birthday is coming up soon that would make a good birthday present. I was like, Oh! That'd be great! So she told me to let her know how much and she'll see what she can do. So sometime over this week I am going to look into an instrument and style.

Clawhammer appeals to me, but before I settle on a style I know I am going to have to be shown how to do it to know whether or not it feels comfortable to me. I love this song "Sugar Baby" and it is the one which gave me an "epiphany" that I was going to learn how to play THAT song if not anything else. I was listening to the version by Cordelia's Dad. From the liner notes: "Sugar Baby is played on a banjo made by Mr. Ellis Wolfe of Butler, Tennessee. His house and small farm lie just a few miles from the North Carolina border, within walking distance of Beech Mountain. He learned to make banjos and dulcimers there from "Old Man Stanley" Hicks and, in our opinion, made considerable improvements on Hicks' already fine designs."

Anyway, I better get back to typing these lists.

archive: 18 july 2007: oh well

So it didn't work out for me to go to Sewanee with them. They're not going afterall. There was some kind of falling out between them and so no one is going, or Mr. Blake is going it alone. Oh well. I am not that bummed out because if Michael had never mentioned it I would not have ever thought of going, so no biggie.

But I asked off from work today and since the trip got cancelled I am still taking the day off from work and I am going to go to Lexington's library and Common Grounds to research and write. Gotta be back in Berea by 5:30 for writing group, but today shall be good.

I am came into Ground Effects and pretty much immediately received a compliment from a friend, so... I feel nice. It seems like ages someone's turned to me and said "you look pretty today." I was kinda taken aback.

Well, I better get on the road. If this day is going to be productive at all, I need to get there and get on those microfilm reels. haha! Researching obits from 1906?!

EDIT (3:15 pm): So I research 1907 and 1923 "Colored Notes" of the Lexington Leader. Got quite a little bit of stuff to write poems about. Its interesting looking at papers that old, reading the way things are phrased and described. I am going to try to incorporate some of that into the poems. I am not sure, though... sensitivity and everything, using words like "colored" and "darkey" and "negro." I think if I am writing the poem from an omniscient point-of-view then it will probably be more my voice and so I wouldn't use those words. But if I am writing from a first person point-of-view then those words will be used. The poem would be read as if that person from 1907 is speaking which means they would call themselves darkies or negroes. I don't know... I'm careful and sensitive about things like that... I don't want anyone to interpret the use of those words as something I normally use now.

Anyway, I should go. I think I want to see if the Old Episcopal burying ground's gate is unlocked and maybe look around for a short bit. But maybe I will come on home after stopping at Common Grounds and reading for a bit.

archive: 17 july 2007: wednesday, poetry, 101 things to do

I believe I am going with my friend Michael and someone who works for the college, Mr. Blake, to Sewanee on Wednesday to hear Mark Strand read at the Sewanee Writers Conference. I am looking forward to this... I have not been to a poetry reading in ages, it seems. This works out well for me because we're just driving down there and back the same day, not staying anywhere, and I don't have to drive. I think he's going to get reimbursed for the gas money by the college probably, so... I am just waiting to hear back from Michael if Mr. Blake says it is okay I ride with them.

And last week Deborah told me about a beginner's banjo set at Currier's in Richmond that she thinks is suitable. And that sometimes they rent out instruments but usually to those who are taking lessons from one of the teachers there. Hmmm. I kinda just want to rent one for a little while to see if I like the feel of the instrument, etc. I know I am particular about some things, and I know myself well enough that if I feel akward holding an instrument because I feel it is big or some other thing, then I will feel discouraged against playing it. So why spend $300-400 or more on an instrument that I might feel too shy to even learn to play? haha... Whenever someone lets me fidget with their guitar I like it, but it also feels so big to me. I'm not a small figured person, I know, but I can be weird about these things. hehe...
If think I might remember right that when Erynn showed me a few chords on the guitar it was on her Martin, a lap guitar. It was small, I know, and not wide, and that was relatively comfortable for me.
But I heard this song "Sugar Baby" by Cordelia's Dad and thought... I want to know the banjo.

This reminds me... I need to go find my list of 101 Things to do in 1001 Days. My "deadline" is March 9 2008. ahh... And I know I never finished even coming up with 101 things! I might think about some things I HAVE done (but weren't on the list) and add them and mark them off on the list. Maybe. :) I also posted the list here in MySpace, but it takes forever to find something here. There's no way to look at a calendar and find a specific entry here in MySpace if you don't remember the exact date. Boo-hoo.
http://blueathena.livejournal.com/909717.html

archive: 14 july 2007: pleiades, muses, art, dad

I have been reading about the Pleiades today and last night too before going to Richmond. There's so many stories related to the little cluster of stars. All over the world, but all of the ones I have read so far have them being 6 or 7 sisters, young maidens. They're strong, independent, and they're creators. Sometimes they are being chased by a man (often the hunter Orion) and in one Australian myth he captured one of the sisters on Earth and the other six sisters came back to Earth, fought him, and brought their sister back in the sky with them.

Anyway, so I wanted to post the link for the radio series of interviews I came across. Here it is:
http://www.abc.net.au/rn/relig/spirit/stories/s1213298.htm

I am doing research about the Pleiades because I have this idea of creating some collages on bottles I have. I don't drink mixed drinks anymore, and may get rid of the liquor, rum, tequila, and I might have some vodka... I'm going to get rid of it and use the glass bottles for this project because they vary in size much the way the stars vary in brightness and luminosity. I want certain things to be represented about them physically. So far I only have stories of the sisters as a group from around the world, but the only stories I have of each sister is from the Greek and Roman mythologies. I wonder if in any other mythologies the stories individualized them at all or if they were always thought of as a group. I love the idea of them as a group, but I do find comfort in knowing that each one's individual qualities was appreciated and needed. Maybe that's just me.

I am also going to do some in-depth research of the Nine Muses for a similar series but with wine bottles. I have one brown and three green bottles so far. More wine! :) I probably should get a Blue Nun wine so I can have a blue bottle in the mix, but maybe there's a wine I like in a blue bottle. I will have to look into it sometime.

I once wrote a very long poem about the nine Muses in [thinks] 1986 or 1987... I was very interested in astronomy at that time, too, so the mythology and the astronomy was very connected to me. And this is where one of the few good memories of my dad is: I come in from the backyard babbling about star constellations and finding them in the sky and Dad decides he wants me to show them to him. With his bad eyes I couldn't really help him to see Cassiopeia or Alexandria or the big and little dipper well; You gotta understand how to connect the dots with some imagination. I think I tried showing him Taurus, which I felt was important because that's what Mom's sign is, and I showed him Gemini because that's what he is, but he couldn't really see them. But he saw Orion, and it was Orion's belt that helped. I told him that Orion was standing there in a stance, with arms raised, and he finally was able to see the stars for his hands and feet. So it felt good, finally, that he could see something in the sky that I appreciated.

Ok. Back to research. Or maybe I will take a break, glue these two stones to the collage at the library because they fell off, then go to BC&T for a change of scenery and research. Tonight I am going to a cookout at Alice's place with a lot of coworkers and her family. I probably won't stay out there long. I'm beginning to get into a creative working mood again. This is a good feeling.

I also have this urge to go for a long walk on the cross country trails... so I might go do that. I haven't done that since last summer...

archive: 12 july 2007: worried

Health.
Heart.
Heartbeat.
Off-beat.
On, off, on, off, on, off...
A friend.
A former co-worker.
A father, not mine, but figure.
Heart beating slower.
Surgery.
Worry.
Heart-
beat.

archive: 7 july 2007: music videos

I have debated about it for some time, but I think I will finally give it and upload them also to YouTube. I have started a series of videos called "Music Memories." Really they are just my blog entries from my personal website blog (http://www.poetess77.com) which is about music and memories associated with specific songs. I know many people talk about "such-n-such song was playing when such-n-such happened" and all that jazz, but it seems like the collection of memories and songs tied to them really pile up. Imagine manuscripts of memories getting a new one added to it every week, ever since you were 5 or even younger. That's my relationship with music, my life's relationship. And yet I don't know how to play an interest, and I don't particularly have a singing voice.

But I have decided that once I am able to afford a decent enough one, I will learn to play the banjo. Deborah T. mentioned something maybe "renting" one from a music shop to see if I like the feel of it, so I might find out if and where I can "rent one" and test the waters. But yeah... I have fidgeted around with a guitar but it doesn't feel right for me... It feels so big and awkward. I know I am particular about things. So a banjo might be right. This all started when I was driving back to Berea from West Virginia and I was listening to the Cordelia's Dad album "Comet." One of the songs on there is a completely instrumental song played on the bajo alone. It is beautiful and crooked and wonderful. I want to know that song.

Anyway, music memories... I am uploading two videos to YouTube right now. One is about Janis Joplin and the other is about Ani DiFranco. I have several others now and will also upload them soon, but probably on Sunday or later in the week. U2, Joan Armatrading, Gillian Welch, Morrissey are onces up on the other video site, and they'll be on YouTube soon enough. I also have ones planned for George Michael, Olivia Newton John, Lucinda Williams, Dionne Warwick, and 4 Non Blondes. Some are good memories, some not so good. Just snippets of time. I keep remembering more I should do... It would be nice if I ended up with a book of song memories. It is an idea I have had for some time.

But I also need to do a video of the fireworks from Wednesday and put that to Led Zeppelin and Bob Dylan (music that was playing while we all were sitting on the porch of Muffy and Aaron's house and watching the fireworks from there).

Much is on my mind lately.

archive: 6 july 2007: thievery of words

It is going to take me some time but I have to "edit my presence on the internet."

The story:
Last night I was sitting in Ground Effects with my computer getting a few friends' mailing addresses from emails they have sent me over the years. I am in a actual snail-mail letter writing mood. So I was collecting these addresses from my email and I got into the whim to try to do a thorough search for Rano.

Rano was an exchange student who stayed with my family my senior year of high school. She was from Tajikistan, a little country nestled between Afghanistan and Pakistan with a handful of other small countries. These were newly independent states (NIS) from the USSR. Rano was part of an exchange program to help young smart students of these NIS explore the concepts of democracy and apply what suits their country's needs. At least that is what the students were taking from the exchange. I think the US Government might have had ideas that all these countries would become capitalist democracies, but who knows. I won't speculate on that. I just know that Rano benefited from the program because she's been active in volunteer and non-profit organizations in Tajikistan since then, helping people know their human rights, handing out information, etc.

Anyway, so when I was an undergraduate student at the University of Mississippi I wrote an essay for a creative writing course about my personal experience having an exchange student stay with me, how we both grew that year, social situations and cultural conversations, etc. The essays I wrote in this course were some of my favorite ones because I was writing prose and biography into one piece. So, since I was proud of this work, I wanted to showcase it and what better way to do that than to post it on my own personal website. So I did. And I did have "Copyright 19XX by Laura Anne Heller" on these pages, etc. I didn't really think much of it.

Last Fall I started feeling a little more paranoid about my poetry and essays on my website not having a true security in their place on the web. I had a gadget set up so that right-clicking would not allow someone to copy and paste, but I even know how to get around that and so do a lot of other savy internet folks. So I took all my writing down off my website with plans to put it back up when I have formatted it as protected .pdf files. This is a Maybe. I want to share, but I don't want it stolen and claimed by someone else.

So while I was looking for Rano's contact info on the 'Net, I came across my essay "Tajik Eyes." Well, at first I thought this sounds really familiar, and I thought it was odd that someone was writing about my "sister" Rano. So I went to my "writing" folder on my hard drive, to the essays, and opened "Tajik Eyes" to compare it with the essay on Azete.com titled "The Exchange Student." Exact same writing. The essay was for sale on Azete.com and did not appear to list my name as the author anywhere. It did, however, have a link to "report plagiarism." So I did. And I sought out 8 more of my essays and papers on this site and reported them all to the site master as plagiarism.

I check my email this morning and the site master had very quickly responded and took down the stolen essays. If they had argued, I guess I would have had to seek out other measures to have them removed.

I am curious as to how many other sites have my writing on them.

(I have just realized how much I like this song by Beth Orton, "Stars All Seem to Weep." I need to read the lyrics, but like the flow and feel of the song... )

archive: 5 july 2007: fireworks, wedding, pasta recipe

Went to a send-off / fourth of july party last night at Aaron and Muffy's place. It turned out to be pretty fun, a bunch of little kids running around, meeting and talking with people, eating lots of food people brought. I made up a pasta salad that turned out pretty good. I didn't make it early enough so that it could have marinaded, but that's something to remember next time. I'll list the stuff I used below.

Oh, and Aaron and Muffy had a surprise wedding. Yes, a surprise wedding. They didn't tell anyone they were planning on getting married except the jeweler who made their silver bands and the man who was marrying them. :) I came in late with a friend and missed the wedding altogether. Aaron and Muffy were totally chillin' with their new status. :)

Fireworks were pretty good and from the porch you could see the Lake Reba ones at the same time. I recorded a bit of the show and will probably work on creating a little video for it. It will have Led Zeppelin and Bob Dylan as the soundtrack since that's what was playing while we were watching the show. Plus I took a ton of pictures of Aaron, Muffy, and other party folks.

So here's that "recipe" because... I made it up while in the kitchen.
Vegetable Seminola Spiral Pasta, 1 pkg. (from Happy Meadows)
Russian Tomatoes, 2 (Farmers' Market)
Regular red tomato, 1 (Farmers' Market)
Acorn squash, 2 (Farmers' Market)
Zuchinni, 1 (Farmers' Market)
French Sorrell Greens, handful (Farmers' Market - Susana's Organics)
Sun-dried Tomato and Garlic Vinaigrette, 1 bottle (Happy Meadows)
Roasted Red Pepper Vinaigrette, a few squirts (Happy Meadows)
Basil Pesto, a few spoonfuls (??)
Creamy Caeser dressing, a few squirts (??)
Parmesan cheese, 1 cup (generic - next time will use freshly grated kind)
Lime Juice, a few squirts (??)

So I cooked the pasta, drained it, and set it aside. I chopped the Russian tomatoes, squash, and zuchinni and put it in a skillet and sauteed it with the Sun-dried tomato and garlic vinaigrette. Then I started adding all those other things to it (except the lime juice) while it cooked down. I tore the greens from the skinny stalks, which now I have decided was more work than needed, put I dropped the little bits of that into the cooking mixture. When I could tell the squash and zuchinni was soft, I pulled it off the heat, put it in a dish and let it cool in the fridge for a little bit. Then I added it to the pasta, stirred it up good, added the parmesan and lime juice and the diced red tomato. Then I let it cool some more mixed together in the fridge. Probably should have let it sit longer than an hour in the fridge to marinate, but I'll try that next time. And I am sure it is still just as good hot as cold. Since it was so humid and hot this week, I felt a cold pasta dish would be better than a hot one. :)

archive: 5 july 2007: another year in berea

So I just talked with Alice. I had written her a list of projects I can do through the Spring 2008, which we just talked over.
First, I finish this inventory by July 31st and send in the report.
Second, this Fall announce and search for subject specialists to visit the colleges I visited and determine the scholarly value of these collections. That would be something difficult to find, but maybe it will be possible. Certainly an area I am not that knowledgeable about, but she knows that and thinks I may be capable of it afterall.
Third, I will continue processing and arranging the ACA archives and write a records management plan for ACA to use thereafter.
Fourth, I will take a course in Library Information Science from UK this Fall and probably this coming Spring.
Fifth, in the Spring I will interview, record, and transcribe a history of the ACA from Alice and write it. It will include her "bits of wisdom" for future projects and endeavors ACA does.
So it looks like everything is working out for me to stay till May 2008. After that, it looks like anything else is possible. Who knows what might pop up for me in another year? Even here, in Richmond, in Lexington, in Frankfort?

I am hopeful. Now other staff is going to see how they can "keep me on the payroll." *crosses fingers*

archive: 3 july 2007: luncheon

Ran into a friend last night who reminded me of Tuesday Luncheons. So I will go over to the Bruce Trades today and see what they're presenting. I guess you could say I have been sorting through all my feelings about "the matter" for a while and now I've got to really move forward with it and be the almost 31 year old I am. Yeah.

Besides, there's a few people I want to see if they're going.

Oh, and I wrote another poem last night. It needs a lot of work. But so do many of the other ones I have written in June for this series. I typed up the rest of them last night and it dawned on me that some of them need serious work and rewriting. Maybe I will try to focus on that this weekend sometime. Maybe on Wednesday morning, since I don't have to work anyway because it is the 4th of July.

Contemplative today...

archive: 2 july 2007: to submit or not to submit

I am going to aim for this goal this month. By the end of July I aim to have submitted to Sarabande a manuscript to be considered for publication. This will have to be my poetry series I have been working on. I think I have around 20 poems now, and my goal was to have 30 poems. Possibly this week I can put a big dent in those 10 missing poems, including working with someone a bit on the ballad. I also need to print out some copies for my poet friend Michael to review, plus Vicky and maybe... Normandi and/or Libby. Not sure who else I should see about reviewing and giving me content/editorial feedback. I've told Michael once and I'll tell him again, don't hold back on his comments on it just cause I am a friend. The others I will say the same. Ok, so this is a link to that contest:
http://www.sarabandebooks.org/contest/woodford_reserve_series.html

Oh, why not? Can't hurt to try.

I should have this outlook in other aspects of my life.

archive: 1 july 2007: dangling conversation

"The Dangling Conversation"

Its a still life water color,
Of a now late afternoon,
As the sun shines through the curtained lace
And shadows wash the room.
And we sit and drink our coffee
Couched in our indifference,
Like shells upon the shore
You can hear the ocean roar
In the dangling conversation
And the superficial sighs,
Are the borders of our lives.

And you read your Emily Dickinson,
And I my Robert Frost,
And we note our place with bookmarkers
That measure what weve lost.
Like a poem poorly written
We are verses out of rhythm,
Couplets out of rhyme,
In syncopated time
Lost in the dangling conversation
And the superficial sighs,
Are the borders of our lives.

Yes, we speak of things that matter,
With words that must be said,
Can analysis be worthwhile?
Is the theater really dead?
And how the room is softly faded
And I only kiss your shadow,
I cannot feel your hand,
You're a stranger now unto me
Lost in the dangling conversation.
And the superficial sighs,
In the borders of our lives.
- Simon and Garfunkel

This is one of my favorite songs ever... I tend to like lyrics that make reference to literature or specific things in culture. I like socio-political songs for that reason. It connects it to a specific time. Maybe it isn't "universal" anymore, but to me it is like any historical epic or legend. It continues to tell the story's historical points long after it no longer applies in current society.

I have uploaded a few of the pictures I took yesterday of flowers. One is linked on my blog, http://www.poetess77.com.

Ahh... Love this one also...

"Poem on the Underground Wall"

The last train is nearly due,
The underground is closing soon,
And in the dark deserted station,
Restless in anticipation,
A man waits in the shadows.

His restless eyes leap and snatch,
At all that they can touch or catch,
And hidden deep within his pocket,
Safe within its silent socket,
He holds a coloured crayon.

Now from the tunnel's stony womb,
The carriage rides to meet the groom,
And opens wide the welcome doors,
But he hesitates, then withdraws
Deeper in the shadows.

And the train is gone suddenly.
On wheels clicking silently
Like a gently tapping litany,
And he holds his crayon rosary
Tighter in his hand.

Now from his pocket quick he flashes,
The crayon on the wall he slashes,
Deep upon the advertising,
A single-worded poem comprising
Four letters.

And his heart is laughing, screaming, pounding,
The poem across the tracks resounding,
Shadowed by the exit light
His legs take their ascending flight
To seek the breast of darkness and be suckled by the night.
- Simon & Garfunkel

Ok. So you got me. All S&G songs that reference poetry make me happy.
I like "Bleeker Street." I like ALL S&G songs. Ok. And now "America" plays...
"I've got some real estate here in my bag" ?!?! yeah! great lyric!