archive: 30 november 2007: good news

I have a phone interview on next Wednesday, Dec. 5, 2007 at 9 am for a position in North Carolina. I'm excited and nervous and hopeful and scared and reluctant but also eager... Such terrible conflicted feelings.

archive: 27 november 2007: banjo & art & holiday gifts

I have been plucking around on my banjo some lately. I started to learn John Hardy the other day from this one written tab, and then I look up the song elsewhere and its arranged a different way! Sounds completely different to me. ah well. That might be a bit strange for me sometimes.

I keep hearing songs on the radio or old ones I really like a lot and think to myself, "that probably would sound really neat on the banjo." hehehe. I am ready to figure out how to do that... Or, well... eager to learn!

Money is really screwed up for me right now. I want to start taking lessons but I don't think I will be able to afford to start this December even.... I was going to start in November but... yeah. I have got to start making some stuff at home so that I have Christmas presents for people. I will not be able to buy ANYTHING... I haven't figured out yet what I will make for my nephew.... He's 6, almost 7, and I want to get him books; He's reading on a 3rd grade level now and he's in 1st grade! So maybe I can find some discounted ones somewhere for him and maybe I should try making one just for him. Maybe? Hrm....

I think that's what I will try doing tonight, working on the art projects as gifts for a couple of friends. I need to figure out what kind of glue to use to glue paper, fabric, and other items to glass. I also have to design one for my mom and sister.... Figure out something for my brother-in-law... Something for my aunts and uncles.... AGH!!!!!!!! Maybe I will make some origami mobiles or something. *sigh* Time.... where does it all go?!

archive: 26 november 2007: waking dreams poem

A complicated spot, this little ledge I am sitting on.
My legs swing out from under me, the street below
is busy with cars and buses and trucks and people...
Across from me are windows into offices, cubicles,
papers and fax machines, laptops revising articles
while the sun sets behind the granite structures
the rays haloing cityscape with gold-edged clouds.

In this space, small and unpredictable, I feel
a lift from within, the edge of me moving outward:
It is scary, this boundary opening wide into
arms and body under sheets in dreams before
sunrise, coffee, bagels, and sleepy-eyed hellos.
In those warm moments, close heartbeat echo
slumbering breath moving inward and outward,
I sink into the gentle rhythm calmed, comforted
by body and blanket heat, a hand encircles waist,
a soft pull of gravity into a cup of breathing warmth.

In morning the dream falls like autumn gingko leaves
when the weight of warmth wakens the body to flight,
knowing the dream relentlessly whispers a simple need.
Mornings move forward with meanderings to cold benches
beneath red maples, long footsteps on rain-soaked sidewalks,
folding into afternoons of the same motions, keys clacking,
papers printing, emails sent and received and responded...
all to lead once again to the same dream night after night.

This ledge is cold even in the wake of comforting illusions:
This lifted feeling waits for reality to awake into my dream
so waking from the warm cup of gentleness will not feel cold
when the sheets fall away shivering, autumn leaves falling.

---------------------------------
I have those dreams often lately, but not sitting on ledges overlooking cityscapes (but if in metaphor). Hrm. I wonder if this poem actually accurately portrays my thoughts on this. I think it might. Kinda random poem. I need to write the other 2-3 for the Lexington Lives series, not personal intimate yearnings.
D'oh!

archive: 20 november 2007: thanksgiving

I am going home to Mississippi tomorrow (Wednesday) to see my Mom, my sister, nephew, brother-in-law, uncles and aunts, and some friends if I catch up with them. It'll be a long drive and I doubt my car is capable of making that drive anymore so I am renting a car from Enterprise for Wednesday through Sunday. It wasn't a bad deal online.

I know this is something not quite right to say, but... I kinda would rather stay up here in Berea for this holiday. I'm not looking forward to whatever confrontation that'll end up arising because of my brother-in-law.... He always gets royally pissy around Thanksgiving and Christmas. I don't know why. But I really miss my nephew and I want to spend some time with him. I haven't seen Mom since last Christmas and I do miss her. I want to see where all she's got her paintings on display and to take pictures of them for her. I think I will create a website for her artwork as a Christmas present, maybe...?

I am so stuffed from the Thanksgiving lunch at work today. I fixed a couple plates for Phoebe and Adam to have tonight... Not much but something to share.

I hope I stop having these terrible dreams. I have been having some strange dreams that have left me feeling extremely weird.... Scenerios that would never happen. Ugh. Maybe I was feeling some of the negative energy that was going on in other places last night. Maybe?

I am not looking forward to that long drive tomorrow, but I will deal with it. Going to hit BC&T before getting on the road; must have my caffeine fix. I'll come back on Saturday. Tonight I have to get some stuff packed and leave the apartment ready for the cats for 4 days/3 nights. I've done this before with them and they are always fine. Any longer than that though really needs someone to visit them... I might ask someone to help with that during Christmas....

archive: 10 november 2007: all about tattoos

A friend of an old college friend is working on collecting stories about people's tattoos and the how's and why's they get them. This is what I sent to her. If you're interested in sharing your story with her, message me and I will send you the profile and questions to respond to. :)
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I have two tattoos. The first one I got on July 18, 2001, when I was going to graduate school at the University of Southern Mississippi. My birthday was in September and the tattoo was a 25th birthday present to myself. I knew as early as 1997 that I wanted a tattoo. I started looking at images online, particularly celtic knots and designs. I liked them all, but then I found one that really struck me, so I saved the image on my computer and had it as a desktop background for a while. Then I went to England, Wales, and Ireland for a couple weeks in the Spring of 2001. While there I bought a wall tapestry, a stamp, and some earrings. When I arrived home and laid my loot out to see it all, I realized those particular items all had the same design, the same one I had saved on my computer. I had not realized it was the same exact design when I bought the items! So to me it seemed to say, "This is a design you should get as a tattoo." So, I basically had thought about that first tattoo for a little less than 5 years before getting it. This one is a celtic knot design. I was told it was called the Four Airets, but I have not been able to find this information online again. It is a celtic knot with four divisions. When I think of the meaning of this tattoo it is not one definition, but multiple ones. The four divisions can represent the four directions, the four seasons, the four elements, the four stages of being a woman (Little Girl, Maiden, Mother/Nurturer, and Crone/Wise Woman), etc. I like thinking of this tattoo as being multiple things at the same time because we as individuals are multiple things at the same time, ie, I am daughter, sister, cousin, friend, lover, care-giver, artist, poet, citizen, etc. This tattoo refers to no significance to anyone else but myself. When others see the Four Airets they only see a celtic knot with four parts, so I enjoy explaining what it means to me. When I got the Four Airets I was taking graduate school courses during the summer and staying with a friend. I was away from home and I could get something without my folks really knowing, so I had been told about a patricular tattoo parlor that was a good one, they had good artists, and it was a clean place. I knew my dad would disapprove so I never told him or my mother. I nearly got away for a year without my mom knowing about this tattoo. I was going to tell her about it on the one year anniversary of having it, but she spied it when I was in the dressing room when we went shopping. She was surprised, but then she just laughed it off. For the most part she was concerned about formal occassions and how other professionals might perceive it. This tattoo is on my back right shoulder blade (where the deltoid muscle overlaps the scapula), so it is easy to hide on a daily basis, and I told her that if ever I need to wear a formal dress for an occassion then I would choose one which had a large enough strap to cover it, if I felt it necessary. I come from Central Mississippi and my mother was definitely one concerned about outward appearances and how others would perceive me with a visible tattoo.


After moving to Kentucky for work, I got my second tattoo at a parlor in Lexington in March of 2005 when I was 28. The second tattoo is a slightly different story. My dad died March of 2004 and I wanted to get a tattoo in June of that same year, which is his birth month. But I could not settle on a design. So I decided that I would wait a year, find a design during that time I really liked, and get the tattoo in March 2005 to memorialize his death. So it took me a year to decide on the design for my second tattoo. In Lexington I was seeing someone who already had several tattoos and she recommended a person who she knew was really good. I had a conference with the tattooist about a week before the tattoo appointment to meet him and to discuss the design. I wanted this tattoo to have some depiction of plants or trees, but to also have some reference to myself and some symbolization of family connection. This is when I came across the Tree of Life. It was perfect. Since my dad's business was landscaping, the tree was a great symbol for his appreciation for trees and shrubbery. The limbs and roots are interwoven in this version of the Tree of Life, and this serves as the family tree symbol for me: I am connected to my father and all other family. The Tree of Life also is a design that I appreciate greatly simply because it is an intricate and beautiful design. The Tree of Life is definitely a tree and others might think that I simply have a great admiration for nature and trees, which is true but only part of the story behind the tattoo; they would never know it memorializes my father without me telling the story. I showed this tattoo to my mom a few months after I got it and told her why I got it. She didn't exactly approve but didn't express total disapproval either. This one is also on my back, but on my left shoulder blade.


Many people told me that getting a tattoo was like getting stung by a bee many times in a row. I had never been stung by a bee and still haven't! I do, however, have a somewhat high tolerance to pain. The first few minutes of getting a tattoo does hurt a little bit, but then the muscle and skin gets a little numb and I wait it out. Both times I thought it was going to hurt a lot more than it did, but neither were quite that bad.

I want to get more tattoos. Both tattoos are round, but the Four Airets is about half the size of the Tree of Life. I want to add a celtic ring around the Four Airets to make it about as large as the second tat. I also want to get two more tattoos but these would be on the outer shoulders (deltoid muscle) just over the ball-and-socket joint. On my right one I would get the Virgo symbol and on my left one I would get the Chinese Characters for "Fire Dragon" or just the one for "Dragon." I am interested in astrology, mostly as a hobby, but it has always been of interest to me. These two symbols would further describe me as I am. It is possible I will choose not to get either of those designs, but settle for a celtic design of a dragon I have created by merging two designs I found online. If I got this, it would be a larger tattoo than just the characters and I would want to put it on my back, or I might be bold and put it on my right upper arm, right where the deltoid muscle meets the other muscles. I also want to add two vines on my back. These would run parallel to the spine (tattooing over the spine makes me nervous) and then they would branch over the shoulder and back down a little (still on the back). It will probably be quite some time before I get this tattoo as I have yet to find a vine design I favor a lot and it will cost considerably more to have this done, if I ever choose to do it. I have always thought that the tattoos at the small of the back looked sexy, but I don't think that I could manage getting one there because I am very sensitive in that spot. I might not get my next tattoo until I am in another state (Four Airets, Mississippi; Tree of Life, Kentucky) or maybe I should have gotten my third one this year since it was three years between the first two and it is now three years since my second one, but finances is tight and I don't think it will happen. Besides, I do like to put a lot of thought into getting my tattoos because I know this is something I will have on my body for the rest of my life. It has got to mean something to me. Like an ex said to me once: Tattoos are addictive. I agree.

archive: 8 november 2007: emmylou harris

I love this song, "Goin' Back to Harlan." I've always known the Emmylou Harris cover, but just recently found the Anna and Kate McGarrigle original. The first video below is of Anna and Kate McGarrigle with Emmylou Harris performing the song with some fiddlers, a banjoist, and others. There's not a video on Youtube of just Emmylou Harris performing the song.

I also LOVE "Deeper Well."

"Deeper Well" is an original by David Olney:
Folk Alley Interview: http://www.folkalley.com/music/extras/david-olney/
David Olney official website: http://www.davidolney.com/

archive: 6 november 2007: update of randomness

So... Work's required of me a few charts, whatever quotes I can find, and some pictures for a few programs here. I have been able to gather a good bit of the info she wanted, but not the Central Library stuff; Dianne's gone for the week and she would have all that info. I can pull a little probably from the annual reports, but... that won't be very representative of it.

Weekend was really good. Friday night was fun chillin' at Pheebs: bunch of people came by and Brian is a real kicker. The three virgos (Kelly, Bev, and me) finished the night, leaving Phoebe's place straightened up and ready for the morning and P bringing her a bed. Saturday night began with the Sundogs playing at Ground Effects. Carol played with them for a while and then Robert showed up, so then it was Sundogs and Mudpi. We went over to Glen's afterwards for a while (Boots Sarah, too!) to sit around the wood-burning stove (nice!) and talk and chat and listen to music. It was a good time. Sunday morning opened with an early morning for me, then laundry, and then the KFTC Friendraiser potluck. Phoebe managed to come to that and then afterwards I went over to Adam's to catch the Simpsons Halloween episodes for last year and this year. That was good.

And I really should do this more often, but I went for a late night walk Sunday evening after a glass of wine. I listened to my little mp3 player - Love that Emmylou Harris. "Deeper Well" and "Goin' Back to Harlan" really was sinking in. I hope one day I can hear Emmylou perform live.

Monday... Work and work... then the storm came. I rushed about trying to get myself ready for yoga class. That is the most relaxing yoga class ever. I love it. I am glad I am taking it. It makes me feel great for the rest of the week, or at least for a few days. Went by Phoebe's afterwards to give her Sarah's tobacco which got left in my car Saturday night, and ended up staying for a while longer chatting with Core too.

Today is Tuesday! Election day. Know who you're voting for?
http://www.votesmart.org
http://www.kentuckyelection.org/