Avoidant

Eh… I shoulda known that it was what I already knew, mostly. Even in middle school I did something like this: mom and I are in the mall or grocery store, I’m wandering around by myself. I see down an aisle or in a store a friend or classmate, and they’ve not seen me yet. I want to visit with them but instead my instinct is to walk on, avoid. I’ve always done this, and pay for it with few friends, and ones who probably get exhausted initiating contact every time. As I got older I forced myself sometimes to ignore the impulse. I think those 6 years crushing on someone who wasn’t going to reciprocate the same feelings led to a resurgence of this behavior tenfold. Here we go again with turning myself around…

“Avoidant is the most widespread emotionally unavailable type that sometimes can be hard to pinpoint as there are so many different types of avoidants. An avoidant may get into a relationship and stay there for many years, or stay away from all personal relationships and dating altogether for long periods of time. They may avoid all sexual contacts for months or even years, then go on a binge of one night stands. (that was a little in 2003-2004) Avoidants are typically introverted and in some extreme cases can become antisocial. They are typically very honest and rarely cheat or play, yet it is not uncommon for an avoidant to live a secret live no one knows about (yeah, I’m secretly Wonder Woman). They avoid intimacy by building walls around themselves and energetically pushing people away whenever they get too uncomfortable in a relationship. They avoid conflicts and confrontations at all possible costs pretending there is nothing wrong when the problem is quite obvious to others. They often resort to addictions to keep themselves cut out of the reality of their own lives and lives of those they get involved with.”