archive: 8 february 2008: love song for bobby long

I probably shouldn't write anything after the quiet night I have had, but I feel like filling some silence even if it won't be with my voice. Hrm...

I just finished having a couple glasses of wine. I practiced on my banjo a bit, thought about people some, and then watched "Love Song for Bobby Long" again. I forgot how good a movie it is. I forgot it was set in New Orleans! I miss 'Nawlins. I haven't been down there since maybe 2000, maybe 2003. Actually, I do rememebr going with Erin to the Howlin' Wolf for a burlesque show, and then another time I went with some friends to see Rasputina play. That might have been the last time, and it was night, very late, when we got back to Hattiesburg. I do want to visit New Orleans again. I miss the nightlife there. I have not been there in so long I know I would see the city in a completely different set of eyes than I had when I was 21. Ten years does make some difference, and yet it doesn't in some ways, in some circumstances. Ha... I'm Lawson in that film. In some ways, I am.


I need to sort through all my photographs. I just thought of a picture I took of Dad that I love. He's sitting in a chair outside the Cafe du Monde and I tooka very centered photo of him. His glasses are on, and the city and myself am reflected in the glasses. He's wearing a teal blue plaid short sleeved button-down. His beard is greying, he's actually smiling a little (I can tell when he does) and things are good, this moment. I like this picture, morning light. Every one, every memory is beautiful in morning light.

I wish I could take off and just go visit the city for a week or weekend. I do miss some parts of the South. I guess even parts of Mississippi I miss, even a few people. I know that coming back to a place you once knew is different after the memories have been buried under more recent memories. I'll look at things differently.

Oxford, Goodman, Hattiesburg, New Orleans... even parts of Jackson. Holmes County Park. Starkville. Rolling Fork, Vicksburg, Cary. Winona, West, Durant. Even Canton, some small tiny part, the courthouse square. I don't want to stay but I want to visit again, like a prodigal daughter returned after all her worldly travels.

I should sleep. It is 3:02 a.m. now. It is Friday. Damn this bed. Why don't I sleep on the twin one so it won't remind me? I guess I do like the space, but sometimes, just ocassionally, I would like that space filled. Ah well. Such is life. Such is the life I lead and it is good as it is, full and empty, good and sad, eager and anxious, loved and all.