*sigh* To be in his arms right now, being held close, a kiss on my cheek, neck, tip of my nose...
When I go to Oxford I don't stay at a friend's house like my father thinks. My mother knows where I stay. I am safe. And responsible. But the tender sweetness for the last 10 months have been and will always be what keeps me going...
Sometimes, I don't think he knows he says the most wonderful things. I would butcher his words if I were to try to quote him... and besides, they are words from him to me alone. love is gentle and beautiful.
I wish I was going up there this weekend. I found out its going to be a long weekend and now I wanna go stay up there. But my sister and nephew will come down for the weekend and I haven't seen them in a while. My nephew is 10 months old as of today, the 16th. :)
Is it strange to remember how old my nephew is by gaging it to how long MBH and I have been together? MBH and I started dating on March 5th, when we first met (kinda). My nephew was born on the 16th of March. lol... kinda convenient, huh?
Christmas was good. MBH gave this journal he has had for a long time, and included some little captions here and there, and included a short story, and a drawing of me... and it was so very sweet. He said that he might have something else for me, but that he couldn't get it yet or something? I have been curious about that, but not asking about it cause that would be weird, especially if he's forgotten about whatever idea it was he had. Woah, I miss my long "vacation" in Oxford. I should have called down to Barnett's that Wednesday, cause then I would have known that I could stay longer, because my car wasn't going to be ready for another week, they say... damnit!!!!!! I get screwed, huh? I guess there will be plenty of other times to stay there with him... time will pass, and closer we'll be. I know its there.
Gawd, I wish I was still in college, there in O-town... and didn't have to work all blasted day in-doors... I so want to be OUTSIDE! Whatever was I thinking when I applied? Some of the students are great... I miss a few of the girls who graduated last year, and this year there's a few that will find themselves in O-town too. I will probably run into them from time to time then... if MBH is still up there, and surely he and I would go there for visits with my gal-pals D and C and whoever else...
Oh god... and weird as can be, one of my exes is up there somewhere at UM too... computer science major now. Hmph... What would be the wierdest day is MBH and I doing something (Bistro or something) and then in comes in A, the ex. Now, there's now hard feelings between A and me at all. Quite cordial and friendly whenever we meet in passing. But still... I am glad I am quite satisfied with MBH physically, cause A is very similar in that area... MBH is better not just because he loves me, but because he shows he loves me... I don't know how to explain or differentiate that any more without being... umm, graphic. :P But, I wouldn't mind them meeting at all. Actually, A is a LOT like MBH's brother... I mean, they're practically identical in personalities, except the brother is satisfied with this one girl, the one he's been seeing for two years. :)
A friend asked me Sunday what religion I was... Was a Christian? I said "generally I am a Christian." I'm not even quite positive about that even... I mean, when do I ever give God any gratitude other than the "oh, god..." and the "thank you god" I whisper or mumble from time to time... And how much of sex is spiritual? I think that it is... with one you love. Anything less is not spiritual. A connection between two of his children, signifying a bond between them not for anything but love. I certainly don't suggest teenagers to go out and have sex and yada yada yada... cause I didn't do anything until I was 21 or 22. And I'm 25 now! ahh... I don't have to defend myself. I have made good choices, and choices that have led me to the one single person who understands me fully. His love is my greatest treasure.
This is getting long... I am just pensive right now. I know I would write the most disgustingly sappy love poem right now if I stopped to write one. I will spare everyone the awful details of those kinds of poems. :D
No comments:
Post a Comment