Sunday, October 14, 2007

archive: 14 october 2007: mood swings

"Characteristics: Emotional charge and sensitivity increases. Do not get swept away by irritability, mood-swings, hysteria, big and small excitements, desire to quickly change everything. People tend to become more conscious of self and others, and see everything in dark tones.

It is a good time for self-analysis and self-improvement, correction of bad habits and shortcomings. When we improve, so does the world around us."

This is exactly how I have been feeling this weekend. Why don't I pay attention? Saturday and Sunday, all day, especially Saturday... I felt completely unwanted and disliked, unappreciated and forgotten. I expect too much of others doing as they said they would do. Just because I will try my best to do as I said I would, and if I can't I let those dependent on it know, doesn't mean others do. It just disappoints me when others don't do that. For me, it is a matter of respect and value of friendship, effort and care. That's why I do those things, and that's why I feel terrible when others let me down by not doing those things.

I guess I had better get used to people being this way, not believing them when they say they will do something. Then I can be surprised when they do follow through. But then I might get used to that. It is all easier said than done.

And then there's this matter of definition. How does one define friend, personally? There are many kinds of friends. It seems mine come and go quite easily. The close ones.... rare and very far between indeed.

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