I was talking about a lot of stuff yesterday with a friend. Stuff that I don't talk about often because it makes me think of things I wish I had right now. Poignant. I was on the edge of tears, it was getting to me so much. It was good to talk to her about stuff I know that might help her, but at the same time it was opening something within me that I've kept shut 'cause if I think about that much it really gets me down. It emphasizes what is missing that I have been wanting.
We're not having a premature winter, honey.
Also... why is it I am almost always attracted to those who are unattainable in one way or another? Either emotionally or physically or spiritually out of my reach because they need to do some things for themselves before becoming involved with someone else, or they're on the other end of the country, or the releasing of baggage and getting to know oneself again, or any other number of things I can guess. But somehow I am nearly always attracted to these people. My emotions are sympathetic.
I was talking about how long its been, but its not the last activity that bothers me, but its the disconnection altogether that bothers me. The kind of emotional distance connected with physical distance. And even the smallest of hints go ignored or misinterpreted; I hardly even miss sex itself. No, I miss the simplicity of innocent intimacy, that which I have not had in a very long time.
I am going hiking this late afternoon up the Pinnacle. Yes.
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