I will say this about seeing Becky on Wednesday night:
From a glance I could tell she followed through on what she said her plans were for the summer: To ride her bike a LOT, run, exercise.... I could tell she toned up some. I had done the opposite. I had gained 5-10 pounds on top of the 20 I had gained the year and a half before. I have 25-30 pounds I want to lose, and then to tone up. I want to be back at my 120. The weight gain was a combined "eating more pasta and fatty stuff" and metabolism slowing down. I used to be "miss boney" in 7th, 8th grade 'cause my metabolism was so fast... I was not thin, I was skinny. I finally got some curves in high school, not much to notice, but if I sat on someone's lap they weren't going to say my bones were poking them too much. hehe. I've let food be too much of a comfort rather than a nurishment.
Anyway, maybe I feel a tad bit sense of motivation. I need to eat a little healthier (I don't eat a lot of fatty things anyway, and no beef, pork, or ham). I need to eat more veggies, though those tend to get expensive and spoil fast. gah. But most of all, I need an exercise routine. I am going to inflate that damn pilates ball. And I am going to start doing crunches or something for my abs. Its all got to tone up and then it won't be so bad.
I read something in this health magazine about detoxification. I might try that plan. It'll have to start the beginnng of November as I would have to buy all kinds of fiber-rich foods and whatnot.
I am not going to have heart problems like the rest of my family has had. I am not going to have diabetes when I get older. I am not going to allow myself to get up to 200 pounds like so many of my family has allowed themselves to get. I'm at 150 lbs and right now this is my breaking point. I'm not 100% comfortable with myself. And its going to be hard to do this 'cause Winter is coming on, natural "I want to just eat and hibernate all Winter" mode, and it will be difficult to fight that. But I will try.
Been busy today though. Got laundry done at the laundrymat. Gotta put it up now. Finish doing dishes next. Clean out that litter box. Sweep, vaccuum. Bills. Write postcards to friends/family, and birthday cards to my cousins who have birthdays on the 17th and 18th.
Might go back to Owsley Fork (if I have time) and take more sunset pictures. Maybe tomorrow instead. I just got a movie in from Netflix too, probably "sense and sensibility." I haven't seen it yet.
And crushes? I dunno. I have little hopes here and there, but somehow I just know it is pointless. I make such subtle hints. Maybe its bad timing anyway. Thats ok. Maybe not a good match anyway. And distance. And time. And money. Everything's just telling me to chill out and wait it out. It is not going to happen here, but maybe where-ever my job takes me next... VA? NC? MA? NY? Who knows?
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