I am such a damn dunce. I never asked about how many pictures can actually be on display in that Barnes and Noble cafe, and so I just figured there was space for 15, so I got 15 enlarged to 8x10 siz, and framed them. Come to find out, the hanging devices can only hang 5 at a time. So I picked out 5 pictures and I have them hanging in B&N in Lexington, KY. I did this in Jackson at B&N and Borders too with some artwork I made. Now I need to find out about better places to have this stuff. I think Tuesday I will go to Mia's and see what MaryBeth says about including some of my photos on the walls there. Probably just the up-close flowers, cause that'd have a bit more theme to go with the bar... maybe. I need to find other places, though. There's Common Grounds, both in Lexington and in Georgetown. I gotta get on their lists.
Amanda and I went to Mia's last night, and we talked about a shitload of stuff. I rambled, as usual. She talked about some family stuff, some sexuality stuff, and she asked me some questions about Becky. I ended up telling her the long list of my sexual escapades. Heh... the last time I had sex with a man was the worst ever. But its so hilarious to make fun of it 'cause he ("Frenchman") was talking the entire fucking time, saying something about slowing down and speeding up alternately. I think I was out of my head for about a month after Dad died because I did things that weren't entirely in my character. The only one I regret though is sleeping with the French guy. ugh. I told Amanda I could always say he turned me gay.
We talked a lot about that too. I still have personal issues with this labeling or identifying myself as either gay or bi. Too many people are calling themselves bi when they are actually just sleeping around with whoever and whatever. I know of one other person who I would consider bi... I define it as being able to have equally emotional and sexual attachment to both men and women. Unfortunately, some people think this means "at the same time." but I call that cheating, unless you consider yourself polyamorous and inform your primary and secondarys and whatever else about the situation. I know someone who is poly, so thats how I know about that, though that doesn't mean I agree with it. Anyway, of course I am rambling again.
So... I guess I could say I am a bisexual. But what does it mean when you've had emotional and sexual relations with men, and you've always had emotional attachments and crushes on women (but hadn't pursued them 'cause of shyness or other) but when you finally do have a relationship with a woman, you've decided that you pretty much don't ever want to be with a man again? Complicated, huh? Cause I could always meet someone that surprises me, male or female.
I think, at least for now, I just don't give a damn about this freaking "label" thing. I don't see myself pursuing a relationship with a man in the future, I am actively looking to date women, so... I consider myself a lesbian. And I've liked it. More than I ever liked it with a man. So... that's it.
I always have this need to explain myself. heh.
No comments:
Post a Comment