I don't know. Maybe I am just reaching out. Maybe I'm just feeling very sympathetic and placing more importance on that than I should. Maybe I just want to comfort like I want to feel comforted. I know that's not how things start.
I just wish I had someone in my life right now that plays that role: that sole confidant, that lover. Someone I admire just for being themself. I have several friends, ones I see often and feel close to, comfortable being myself around them. I guess I only feel conflicted or complicated when I realize that every single person I meet and admire in some small or large way ignites a crush, tiny or major, no matter who they may be. I had a brief conversation like this with one friend one night; she brought it up as we talked about it on some outside steps at the Bar. I wonder if I am a little more fluid than I give myself credit for being. I am not sure.
I love a lot of people. I know I don't always express that well, but I do.
I am missing people I haven't seen or heard from for a while.
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