cycles

I do have cycles.  They're seasonal and I am only just beginning to recognize when they happen. Two years ago I commented to a friend that I noticed I get more reflective, more moody and introspective in June and July.  During the day I will work and talk when needed to get a point across, and may occasionally get excited about something and be chatty about it.  Usually, though, I am more quiet than usual and evenings tend to lapse into solitary time of reading, writing, creating things, listening intently to music to saturate myself in memories and thought.

Last year I considered that I might have another lapse sometime in Autumn, probably mid-October through late November or even mid-December.  Holidays place in me an emotional conflict: I love seeing my family and visiting them, but there also is a disruption in my usual routine of thought and action that I feel a little in limbo and want to be alone even though I ought to spend all that holiday time with family since I see them only once or twice a year.  I even felt that way when I last visited Berea.  I wanted to visit with a few particular people but when I spent some time in the coffeeshop or with groups I knew it was no longer a place I inhabited.

I've been walking at night now. I've picked up a thought-provoking book (yes, it was recommended by a friend, one who gives suggestions I tend to follow up quite eagerly).  I've been immersed in the lyricism of Alexa Woodward and Ray LaMontagne.  I'm thinking and feeling and repositioning myself emotionally.  It takes time.

And so, if I have this phase in June-July, and then again October-November, it's possible it happens again sometime in February-March.  Is this usual for others?  Do anyone else pause and reflect on the subtle shifts of self?