I haven't been writing lately. Actually, I haven't written anything
that felt significant since I moved to Oklahoma. I did come up with an
idea centered around the lake, a thread, a bond between father and
daughter. But that concept continues to flail in the middle of the lake,
arms flapping, mouth gasping, drowning because everyone on the shore
thinks the poem is waving hello, not goodbye. I've been trying to figure
out how to throw a life jacket out to the poem; It's just too far out
there. I feel unmotivated.
I wonder if it will all change if I
manage to create those song lyric collages and videos, will the concepts
come back. And was my last collection of poems really about something I
was working through? I know it is about resentment, love, overcoming
obstacles, feeling ashamed, and breaking cycles. It is also about making
a better future out of a painful past. That isn't really about me.
Sometimes I had people in mind when I wrote certain scenes, but most of
the time it was a purely fictional world composited of women, families,
and histories I've read or imagined.
I'm just spitting out thoughts here, that's all.
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